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“I get that,” Paige said. “I’m simply curious. It’s fine if you don’t want to share and it’s all for you. I simply found it interesting.”
Something about leading with this rubbed Paige the wrong way.You’re both completely overlooking the point.Paige wasn’t only nosy – she genuinely thought she might learn something from her wife’s erotic writing.Maybe there are ideas in there you’re not even aware of, Rhea.After that bombastic weekend in the cabin, Rhea had been more withdrawn in a few ways. Their sex life remained more stable than it had been before couples’ counseling, but there was a new distance between them. Never before had Paige been so involved in their relationship and gotten pushback. Just that past week, Rhea had announced she was a bit touched out and needed a short break from anything overly intimate. That included cuddling on the couch.Who is she? What’s going on?
Was Paige being too much? Had a monster been unleashed? Had their rekindling romance ignited a wildfire that endangered their very marriage?
There Paige went, blaming herself for everything again.I either don’t want any sex or too much sex.It didn’t help that her newfound kink curiosity had made Rhea admit that it took a lot out of her. Not only the physical act of sex itself – coming up with new and exciting ways to make love and “keep things interesting.”Her words.
Paige had hoped to address some of those things this week. Yet the awkward silence in the therapist’s office made her bite her tongue instead.
“Is there anything you’d like to talk about, Rhea?”
Paige heard the counselor’s words, but she barely registered that they were directed at her wife, who unlinked her legs and folded her hands in her lap. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
Panic gripped Paige, and she didn’t know why.
“How about in response to learning something about your wife?” Dr. Seville prompted. “What have you learned about Paige since we last talked?”
I’m supposed to patiently wait for an answer?Paige couldn’t figure out what her wife might say. Since their ill-fated date at Hellfire, Rhea had been a bit of a loner and Paige focused on her work. They were coming out of the summer season at the gym, which meant her athletic clients demanded more of her time but the celebrities became scarcer as they planned their vacations or moved on location for movie shoots. Only online celebs, like influencers, kept their regular once or thrice a week appointments. Her whole schedule was in flux.
Rhea finally spoke. “I’ve learned more about her crush on one of her clients.”
Paige was as white as a sheet. Dr. Seville curled her bottom lip into her mouth. “Is that so? Do you have a crush on one of your clients, Paige?”
“It’s not like that,” she insisted. “I’m professional with her, but I won’t lie that she’s very attractive, and I’ve mentioned that to Rhea. It’s not something I’m keeping a secret.”
“Why do you think Rhea brings that up, then?”
“I dunno…” Paige turned to her partner. “Whydoyou bring it up?”
“Why do you have to bring up what I write for fun?”
Paige was taken aback. “She asked me what I learned about you since we last came here. That’s what I learned.”
“Maybe I like that it was a private thing only I knew about,” Rhea slightly snapped. “You know it’s a big deal for me to openly talk about things like sex. I blush whenever our friends talk about it in front of us. I can’t even watch a movie with a slightly dirty sex scene without wanting to eject myself to the moon. I didn’t grow up like you.”
“Huh? Grow up likeme?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t!”
Rhea’s sigh was so heavy that she melted into the couch. “Fine. I wasn’t like you by the time we got to college. I wasn’t completely comfortable with myself. I didn’t put myself out there and date a lot. It wasn’t normal to me yet. I couldn’t even talk to a pretty classmate without sounding like a twelve-year-old boy going through puberty. It’s embarrassing to even talk about.”
“All right,” the therapist interrupted. “I think we’ve locked on to something here neither of you were prepared to talk about. Paige…” Sparks flew from one side of the room to the other, and it was barely enough to rehabilitate Paige’s heart. “How does hearing this make you feel?”
Paige didn’t know – and that was part of the problem still percolating between her and Rhea, the woman who had a lot of feelings now that it had been nearly fifteen years together.
Every time Paige thought that was bearable, something new popped up to make her requestion everything.
Things were still tense when they returned to their car and headed home, where Paige would have to grab her work bag and head to West Hollywood, pretending everything was fine.
They were already stuck in traffic from the moment they left the parking lot. With one hand on the wheel and the other in her hair, Rhea leaned against the driver-side window, her nerves so obviously frayed that Paige was almost afraid to say anything.
“I’m sorry I brought it up,” she said after an unbearable silence. Not even NPR was on, which told her that Rheareallywas stuck in her own head. “I thought it was okay. I didn’t realize that it being secret meant that much to you.”
Rhea said nothing as she lightly stepped on the gas pedal. They only moved forward a few feet, but such was traffic in Southern California.
“I only want to get to know you better,” Paige continued. “Which feels like such a silly thing to say as someone who has been with you for so many years. Ishouldknow you better than I do, but then new stuff pops up and I see a side of you that I didn’t even know really existed…”
