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Divorce?
Rhea knew she was reading too much into it, especially since she also knew that Jeanette and Roxy saw a marriage counselor who they claimed “kept them sane” in the ever-changing world. Yet what else was the lizard brain in Rhea’s head supposed to think when she saw the words “couple’s therapist?”
Snack left on the table, Rhea stepped out onto the patio with the card in her hand.
Paige momentarily glanced up at her before recasting her gaze on the refraction of light on the pool water. She did not flinch when Rhea sat next to her, although those sandals were not coming off, and Rhea’s feet weren’t going anywhere near the water.
“Bit warm out here still, huh?” Rhea said.
“I don’t mind it. I’m used to sweating all day.”
Rhea flashed the card in front of her wife’s face. “Know anything about this?”
“Jeanette gave that to me Friday night. Guess I forgot to throw it out.”
“You think we need a marriage counselor?”
That got Paige’s attention faster than the blender mixing a smoothie in the kitchen. “Did I ever say that?”
“No. I was just thinking…”
This whole time, Rhea was worried she might be the one coming off as defensive and hurt. Yet it was Paige who kicked one foot out of the pool water and accidentally splashed her wife’s jeans. “Thinking what? That we need outside help for our marriage?”
“I wasn’t… I mean…”
Paige sighed, the fight out of her as quickly as it had flooded her veins. “Sorry. Guess I didn’t throw it out because I was thinking about it. Notseriously,but… I mean, we’ve been together a long time. Things aren’t how they used to be.”
“You’re right. We’re different people from when we were dating. Hell, we’re different from when we got married. Remember when we were poor?”
Paige’s laughter wasn’t as genuine as it used to be. “One wrong thing and we’re pooragain,hon. It doesn’t take much these days, and it’s not like our parents are swimming in cash.”
“No…” They got by all right, had some investments, and Rhea’s books were successful enough that royalties would continue to trickle in for some years, but… well, she worried about “it” as well.What if one of us gets sick and can’t work anymore? What if inflation gets so out of control that we can’t afford food? What if a giant earthquake flattens our house? What if, what if, what if?Living in SoCal had been difficult enough when growing up in the poorer parts of town. Now it felt likeeverythingwas simultaneously gentrified and where the lower class lived. That was always true for Rhea when she walked around downtown Santa Monica.
Some of her friends, especially those from her short stint at Catholic school, came from wealth. Loren’s parents still had a house in Brentwood, for crying out loud.Don’t get me started on Roxy.Roxy’s father was a talent agent to some of the biggest up-and-comers of the 1980s, and her mother was an Oscar-nominated costume designer.Jeanette’s mother was a supermodel.
Meanwhile, Paige had grown up comfortably middle-class but hardly “thriving,” and Rhea’s parents… well, yeah.
My father the tradesman and my mother the schoolteacher who died before I even went into high school.The only reason Rhea didn’t worry about her and Danny losing the house was because it had already been paid offandDanny had done his best to hide the worst of his finances from his only child.
So Rhea and Paige were doing fine, by Rhea’s metrics. By Paige’s? Who knew?
Were they fine enough to afford a marriage counselor? Would they even survive each other’s critiques and airing out what bothered them in this marriage?I thought we were fine. I thought we could weather anything.
A few years ago, Rhea would have shut down any thought of counseling. They didn’t need it. Sometimes, life was tough, but they pulled through fine. Fine!
Now, though?
Paige was distant. Rhea’s father stressed her out. They were in completely different careers with totally different schedules. They hadn’t had sex inmonths.When was the last time they made out on the patio or skinny-dipped in their pool? When did they last travel somewhere and turn it into an adventure, not a cause of duress?
Maybe theycoulduse a little outside help?
When she stepped out into the backyard that afternoon, Rhea had not counted on feeling on the verge of defeat. Yet when she looked her wife in the foggy eyes and realized that things had broken apart much quicker and muchharderthan she ever realized…
Didn’t they once vow that all of this was worth fighting for?
“Should we call her?” Rhea asked her. “Maybe we should call her.”
Paige was less committed than Rhea anticipated. “I dunno. Maybe.”
