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“Yes.”
“This ‘Carrie’ is quite femme, then?”
“And very comfortable in her skin.” What Mitch didn’t say was that Candace’s behavior also stemmed from how she felt around other women. Because Mitch wasn’t going to talk about how she went to Mexico with Candace, or that she had been slapped.
Nobody else knew that. Vanessa still didn’t know. Mitch wouldn’t tell her until this was all over.
“If I were single, Carrie would be the exact kind of woman I’d have a whirlwind affair with. She’d treat me rough in all the ways I like. She’d probably even enjoy some of my darker fetishes for a short time. Then, unlike Vanessa, she’d get overly possessive. Jealous. It would no longer be about having fun while trusting each other implicitly. I’d become her pawn. If I didn’t follow her every order, I might get hurt. Everything I enjoy about my sexuality would suddenly become a dark place I couldn’t escape. That’s the kind of woman I think Carrie is.”
“Yet you’re still in her orbit. Why?”
Because I don’t have a choice.“Because she intrigues me. All of this tension between us, and she hasn’t made a single move. Not a real one. I know she’s interested in me. I don’t even mind her attention. She has a resolve I’ve never seen in a woman before.”
There was nothing truly resolved in this visit with Dr. Esser, but Mitch didn’t mind. She liked having the chance to say some things out loud to people who knew her well enough to understand where she was coming from. Regarding Candace?I can’t tell Vanessa some of these things. Not for now.Anyone else, and Mitch’s pillow talk would revolve around what she might think Candace was like in bed or attempting to earn more of her attention with Vanessa’s help. Mitch wasn’t simply an exhibitionist – she craved the attention of dominant women like she had to eat. Vanessa was one kind of attention, but Mitch knew there were others in the world.
What a pity that Candace must be a terrible person.
Mitch met up with Vanessa at one of their favorite coffee shops a couple of blocks away from Dr. Esser’s office. Vanessa was already there, sitting with a copy ofAnna Kareninaand letting her mocha latte cool while rain splattered against the window. She looked so cozy in her fuzzy boots and heavy sweater that Mitch almost couldn’t believe that this beautiful woman was waiting forher.Vanessa was every inch the introverted, academic darling who captivated others on her campus but never gave them the time of day. Why would Mitch, who was so clearly five levels beneath this woman, be any different?
Vanessa flashed a smile when she looked up from her book and saw her partner standing in line to order. Mitch lowered the hood of her sweatshirt. She supposed it was fine if other people saw her now.
Vanessa brought that out of Mitch – a desire to be seen, regardless of who she was.
In an unexpected turn of events, Mitch befriended Thalia well enough that they were grabbing lunch outside of the brunch spot or Club Night.
Around her, Mitch had to be “on,” but she didn’t mind. Thalia was easily impressed by everything Mitch “effortlessly” did, be it the way she styled herself outside of the club or how she always knew the right thing to say. Like when the waitress forgot their appetizer and Mitch made her feel at ease the moment she panicked about losing out on her tip.
“You’d think I’d know how to make her feel better,” Thalia bemoaned when the waitress was gone again. “Being in the service industry myself.”
“How do the tips work at the restaurant, anyway?”
“Hmph. I keep the ones left to me by those I’ve served, although we pooled until last year. You ask me, Ms. Lister would take a share if she could.”
“Isn’t that illegal?”
“There was a to-do last year because our new manager was including herself in the pool. Which isnotlegal, either. Not unless she’s doing the same work as us, and she was definitely not. Worse managerever.I’ve had some doozies over the years, but I couldn’t believe Ms. Lister hired that woman. I was so glad when she moved and we started keeping our tips.”
Mitch nodded. “That sounds fairer.”
“Screwed the back of the house, but she raised their wages to help compensate. Ms. Lister is really generous when shown reason.”
Although Mitch knew better than to poke holes in how Thalia viewed her boss, she needed more information. As much as she wished she could say her befriending Thalia was purely because she liked the girl, Mitch knew she was a font of information, and Agent James agreed. Even Stella and Jade, who kept in loose contact with Mitch via their safe house in the Castro, thought it a good idea to nag Thalia for answers. Mitch was the best candidate for that.
So, here they were. “Besties.”
“You like Ms. Lister, don’t you?”
Thalia blushed, but her casual posture and the way her baby pink nails fluttered against their table only accompanied the sweet smile stretching across her face. “Duh.Ms. Lister is the total package when it comes to potential Mistresses. She’s even the perfect age for me. I’ve got mommy issues. Let me live!”
“Don’t worry, I’m the last to judge.”
“You got ‘em too?”
“More like I like the security older women offer.”
“There you go. Another angle of mommy issues. I didn’t have a good home life growing up. Big fat latchkey kid. Literally fat. You have no idea how much weight I lost once I was out of community college. Started hitting the clubs and between all the dancing and being too hungover to eat for half the day afterward, it just melted off.”
“Is that how you met Ms. Lister? Through the clubs?”
