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“I can’t say my family is a topic I’m thrilled to talk about. It’s rather complicated but I suppose most families are.”
“I can’t say I can agree. Mine is as simple as they come. My parents were college sweethearts who married young, had a family, and raised us as best as they could. I can’t complain because Garrett and I turned out alright. My brother and I are close. I resented him a little when he got offered a contract to enter the majors but I understand he had to live his own life. I still love him just as much. So like I said, as simple as they come.”
“I wish I could say the same. We’re the opposite of simple.”
“Complicated.”
“Very,” I muttered.
“Wanna tell me how?”
No, not really.
“My parents met in law school.”
“They’re lawyers?”
“That was the plan but they got pregnant with my sister and had to quit. My dad works for the city as a manager for their federal funding programs and my mother is a grant writer. They’re successful and have had amazing careers, just not the careers they aspired to have. Their dreams of becoming lawyers got passed down to my sister and me.”
“Your sister’s a lawyer?”
I grunted and drank more of my moonshine. “My sister is currently teaching classes on Somatic workouts at some high-end Pilates studio or at least she was when I left Boston. Who knows if she’s still there or not. She’s a bit of a free spirit. Which is why I’m here.”
“You’re here because your sister is a free spirit?” He frowned and I slumped my shoulders, drinking more before I answered.
“My sister dropped out of law school her second year. Right at the end of my first year when I decided I didn’t love the idea of being a lawyer. Law is stressful and not what I wanted. Being a lawyer is what my parents wanted for me, but after how angry they were once my sister dropped out there was no way I could too. I finished, passed the bar, and got a job as a contracts lawyer for a very prestigious firm.”
“Which I’m assuming you don’t like either.”
“I hate it. It was a harsh work environment and stressful. As one of the only women and the only minority I dealt with a lot. Mostly with proving I could do the job. I was smarter than almost every lawyer employed there. They knew I was and wanted me to suffer because of their inadequacies.”
“Why didn’t you quit and get another job?”
“My parents. They were so proud. Always telling me how great I turned out when I was, in fact, falling apart. The job was horrible and I don’t do well with stress. Only what adult couldn’t handle a little stress? I also made six figures a year so no one understood why I hated my job so much. I managed because I refused to hurt my parents. They sacrificed so much for me. I didn’t want to disappoint them, so I made it work but the longer I was there the worse my anxieties became. I wasn’t sleeping or eating. I had been barely hanging on and a few weeks ago, I had a mental breakdown in front of one of their major clients. I couldn’t pull it together and sort of ruined a major opportunity for the firm. The client didn’t want me handling the account or being employed there, so they fired me.”
“Well shit. I’m sorry to hear that.”
I smiled. He seemed genuinely concerned. “The thing is… other than having to explain I’d gotten fired to my parents, I was relieved when they let me go. I know the minute I tell them, their advice will be to brush it off and they’ll dive right into helping me find another equally terrible job, as alawyer.”
“Which you don’t want…” he stated and I shook my head. “If it’s not being a lawyer anymore, what do you want?”
This. The simplicity. The peace I’ve felt since being here. Was I crazy because I felt like I wantedhimtoo?
“I want to wake up without feeling like there’s a boulder on my chest from being committed to a job I hate. I want to feel like what I want matters and that just because my sister disappointed my parents, I don’t have to carry the burden of making them proud. She lives her life the way she wants. As much as they don’t like what she does, they accept her choices becausethat’s just who she is. I get so sick of hearing them express that followed by, but you, Shore, you make us so proud. And I feel bad because I know they love me. Their expectations are simply a lot.”
“You don’t have to feel bad, Boston. Your life should be your own. I get wanting to make your parents proud but there has to be a line drawn with how far you go to do so.”
“Easy for you to say, you don’t get it. Your family is simple.”
“I don’t have to live your life to understand what it’s doing to you or how fucked up living someone else’s dreams makes you feel.”
I exhaled, turned up what was in my glass, and cringed from the burn of it sliding down my throat and warming my chest. “Shit, that bites. And to make matters worse, I lied to them about why I wasn’t coming home for Christmas.”
“You lied?” he asked with a raised brow.
“I did.” I nodded “I told them I had to work, which is the only acceptable excuse for not spending Christmas with my family. How ironic that the job I hated saved me from explaining to my family what a failure I am. And I’m kinda sad. I really love Christmas and I’m going to miss spending it with my family. There’s not really much I can do since I’m here in Miller’s Pointe trying to figure out my life so I’ll make the best of things.”
He smiled charmingly sweet and sexy. “I can’t say I have the answers to you figuring out your life but I can help you figure out Christmas. We’ll start with your tree tomorrow and work through the rest. How’s that sound?”
