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Her head snapped up, her eyes at first unfocused then the recognition hit them, and she opened them wider. A bright blush stained her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I …” Stepping back she hugged herself and cleared her throat.
“What happened there?”
Her voice was whisper soft. “Nothing.”
Stepping toward her, he softly pulled her chin up and waited until her eyes focused on his. “It wasn’t nothing. What happened?”
“I … it’s stupid really.” Clearing her throat, she forced a smile. “I don’t know where my mind went there. I was waiting to be dismissed.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’ll try harder to make sure that doesn’t happen. I haven’t done that in such a long time. But, I haven’t had dinner with a man since Nicholas, and … I don’t know; it’s just a weird mind game I guess.”
Dismissed? She had to wait to be dismissed? The backs of his fingers brushed along her cheek before snaking around to cup her head in his hands. A strange emotion crawled up his throat, part anger part sadness, and he tried swallowing it down. His voice was gruff when he spoke. “You never have to wait for permission from me for anything. Hear?”
A fake smile formed on her lips. He knew it was fake because the rest of her face didn’t move when she responded. “Yes.”
He leaned in and pecked her lips. Once ever so light. Twice a bit firmer. “I’ll go put some clothes on and grab a few things to take with me to your place. Be right back.”
He waited for her to nod her understanding then stepped back and winked at her. “Amore mio? Make yourself comfortable.”
“Go and get your things. I’m fine, I promise.”
He walked to his bedroom, consciously trying to control his breathing. He turned right and into the master bath, closed the door and leaned his hands on the counter, hung his head, and counted to ten. The haunted look in her eyes when she finally focused on his ran through his mind and his heartbeat accelerated.Waiting to be dismissed.He wanted to punch the wall. Kick something. Yell at the top of his lungs.
A deep breath, hold it, count to ten, release to the count of ten. Repeat. Twice.
As he calmed down, he pulled his toiletry bag from the drawer and tossed in his toothbrush, toothpaste, and his aftershave. Slowly walking into the bedroom, he set his toiletry bag on the bed as he went into the closet to pull out his favorite jeans and a pullover polo. He closed his eyes a moment and let thoughts of her smiling face float through his mind. They’d had a great day and tomorrow would be too. He needed to focus on the present and the future, not the past. And that’s what he’d do.
17
First thing tomorrow she’d call her counselor and see if she had a referral for her here in Harmony Lake. She shouldn’t have waited this long, but she’d hoped that the move would—once and for all—rid her of the negative vibes of Nicholas and she’d begin life again. New, fresh, and whole. Now even more so that she’d found David again, she wanted to be whole. Her lapse back into the past this evening sent that dreaded darkness crawling through her body, and she wanted it gone.
Glancing over at David’s strong profile as he drove caused her to smile. He was worth it. Anything and everything she’d had to do in her life to keep him safe was worth it. Maybe someday he’d see it, too, and that little niggly monster inside him that she sensed kept his emotions at bay, would break down too. Maybe, if things progressed, she’d ask him to go to couples counseling, and they could work together on ridding themselves of the past thirty years.
He turned his head, and when their eyes collided, her heart skipped a beat. Those deep blue eyes framed with enviable lashes held so much in them. He smiled. “You know I love it when I see you looking at me, but I’d love it more to know what you’re thinking when you do.”
“Hmm, well at first I was thinking how handsome you’ve grown over the years. Then I thought, and he cooks. Then I thought I’d love to jump your bones again before I drift off to sleep tonight. Then I thought, ice cream; I’d like ice cream.”
She pressed her lips together to stifle the giggle that threatened as the look on his face became puzzled. He stared at the road for a few moments, and she worried she’d pissed him off.
Serious as can be, he asked, “What kind of ice cream?”
Well, she didn’t expect that. Trying to think of a clever reply, her mind went blank. Then he turned toward her, and the smile that appeared on his handsome face was breathtaking.
She burst out laughing, and so did he. Her heart felt light. When was the last time she truly laughed about nothing? When was the last time she’d teased a man? The answer was simple – a lifetime ago.
Exiting the lake area of Harmony, he turned toward downtown. Her condo looked over the lake, but she wasn’t on it. Since she was up on the fourth floor, she could look over the road below and then out onto the lake. She felt like a bird on a perch when she glanced out the windows. Safe in her cage, shielded from the horrors below. At least that’s what she’d thought when she purchased it. In her limited view of the world and where she’d like to be, her mind screamedKeep me safe.
Watching as the businesses floated past her window, she realized she had a lot to learn about being a member of society. David waved at a striking woman wearing cut-off shorts and a loose-fitting, flowy fuchsia top. It took her mind a moment to recognize Lucky as today her hair was the same fuchsia as her top and bold aqua on the sides.
“You know Lucky?” she questioned.
He glanced over at her, a smirk on his lips. “Honey, everyone knows Lucky. She’s a vibrant personality, and she’s very active in the business community. We have meetings with our BN&M group, and when she walks in the room, everyone notices. Plus, she’s not hard on the eyes.”
She turned and looked out the back window of the truck as they drove past and watched Lucky wave to several more people, hug a woman on the sidewalk and bend to pet her puppy. Definitely a people person.
“How do you know Lucky?”
She turned toward the front of the truck and smiled. “I love her coffee. But more than that, she’s a joy to see in the morning, so I go into her coffee shop a few times a week just to chat with her. She’s invited me to her Stitch and Bitch. I blew her off this week, but I just may go this coming Wednesday.”
He laughed a big belly laugh. “We men are horrified of the concept, but Sam loves going, so Gray and I usually have a drink or two when she’s there.”
