Page 43 of Ashes


Font Size:  

“Mmhmm … I’m sure that’s all he is,” she purred.

I refused to stand here and defend myself to her of all people.Rolling my eyes, I left her there and headed downstairs.If I was lucky, I could make it outside before seeing Cleo.

I needed Wilder to get here.I needed to see his face and know everything was okay.He was what mattered to me.

Twenty-Two

Wilder

By the time the credits rolled, Sarah was sleeping soundly, her head in Oakley’s lap.Belladonna was at her feet, snoring.Two empty bowls of popcorn, a half-eaten pecan pie, a plate of crumbs from the cookies that had once been there all littered the coffee table.Oakley glanced over at me and smiled.I tried real damn hard not to let it get to me.Platonic was what I was going for with her.

“You want to wake her or carry her up?”she whispered.

Belladonna sprang to her feet, as if she were going to be left behind.

“I’ll carry her.It’s been a long day,” I told her.

Bending down, I picked Sarah up and cradled her in my arms.It had been a while since I’d held her like this.When I looked down at her, it made me miss the days when she had been little and ache for all the time I hadn’t been there.Only getting her every other weekend hadn’t been nearly enough.

The reminder that I could have had her more and one of the reasons I hadn’t gotten that chance sat there on my sofa in front of me.The bitterness that had slowly been fading away came back in a rush.Oakley had the power to make a man forget his fucking name.I wasn’t going to let her make me forget that she was one of the people who had robbed me of the time I should have had with my daughter.Time I could never get back.

She had blinded me once, but never again.I had let her in today.My mom had said things that made me think I could trust her.Allow her back into my life as well as Sarah’s.But there was the past, and Mom didn’t know all those details.It was something I didn’t discuss because the outcome had been Sarah.Blaming Oakley for crushing me and sending me on a drunken binge that had had me waking up with Sylvia in my bed felt like I was, in return, holding the birth of my daughter against her.I could never regret Sarah.Even if there was a time when I’d thought I’d never be happy again.That Oakley had taken any chance of that from me.

There had to be a line, and I couldn’t cross it.Oakley having movie night with us had made Sarah happy and made me feel like less of a dick for what I’d said about her.But even if she had grown up and changed, it had only been six years since she had told the judge I wasn’t fit to have custody of Sarah.

“Okay.I’ll get this cleaned up before Belladonna sneaks in here and does it herself.You don’t want her sick.It can get messy,” Oakley said, standing up.

“I can get it,” I told her.“You need to get on the road.It’s late, and you have a five-hour drive.”

When I had asked her to stay and watch a movie with us, I had fully intended for her to stay the night.That moment had passed.I could forgive her for the part she had played in the past with Sarah’s custody.My mom was right; Oakley had a good heart.She was a good person.The past was done, but just because time had changed her didn’t mean I could let my guard down with her.

“Oh, yeah, right,” she replied, turning from me and picking up two bowls.“I’ll just move these so she doesn’t help herself while you tuck Sarah in, and then I’ll get going.”

I stood there and watched her as she hurried from the room, not once looking at me.I felt like a fucking asshole, but this was the right thing to do.For Sarah and for me.I had to protect what was mine, and Oakley had once been a threat.That didn’t mean she couldn’t be again.At least where I was concerned.

Shifting Sarah in my arms and pulling her closer to my body, I focused on her face.How big she was getting.How important she was to me and why Oakley needed to be kept at arm’s length.Allowing myself to remember how she had charmed my entire fucking family today—helped my mother, even gone out of her way to make Scott’s date feel like a part of the family—was just going to cause issues.

Oakley was good with people.She had the beauty and charisma to command a room and mold everyone in it like putty in her hands.But she hadn’t betrayed them.She hadn’t turned on them out of spite and taken something from them that they could never get back.

Forgiveness was one thing.Forgetting was another.She couldn’t have both.Not from me at least.

I was almost to the top of the staircase when I heard the front door open.I didn’t look back to see her walking out of the house.I didn’t tell her to drive carefully or text me when she arrived home safely.It wasn’t my place or my concern.She was an adult and could take care of herself.If I started caring, I didn’t know if I could stop.The line had to be drawn somewhere, and I was using a motherfucking Sharpie to do it.

It took two days for Sarah to start talking to me in full sentences again.When she had woken up to find out Oakley had gone home after the movie, she had been upset.With me.Granted, I probably deserved it.When I saw her texting Oakley that morning and Oakley responded, I’d been so fucking relieved because she had made it back safely.She was a woman.I would have been worried about any female driving that far alone at night.Especially if I was the reason she had done it to begin with.

Now that Sarah was back in school and I wasn’t off dealing with that shit in Atlanta, I could get back to my regular routine.Whatever the fuck that was.Things had gotten so twisted lately that I was forgetting what normal was.

The images of what we’d done to the guy we tried to get to tell us who was in charge of their death-sentence drug smuggling still played in my head when I let my guard down.The shit that had been done to him and he never gave up a name—it was fucked up.He was dead now, and for what?

Running my hands through my hair, I sighed in frustration.When I was alone, it all haunted me.Came back to me.Reminding me how deep I’d gotten in this world.The one my mom had wanted to save me from, yet my father had cemented me in it.There was no going back.Not anymore.I was in this for life.Just like my dad and his dad, who had died because of it when my dad was only fifteen years old.

I started to make my way to the shower when my cell rang.Turning, I went back to pick it up from where I had left it on my desk.The screen saidBlocked, and I paused for a moment before answering.I should probably trace this, but I wasn’t sure where I could set that up quickly.

“Hello?”I said into the phone, my body tense as I gripped the cell phone.

“Wilder Jones.”The voice was being distorted with software made for that sort of thing.

I began walking toward the room hidden in my closet, the door locked.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com