AllFreeNovel
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“What are you doing?” I ask her.
“Finding a radio station, you just drive.”
I laugh. “Yes ma’am.”
She finds one she likes, or at least a song she likes, and starts humming along to it. She’s taken her hair out of its bun so it’s flying around her head as she rolls her window down. And I can’t help but think it’s a good thing I’m at a stop light because I can’t seem to take my eyes off her.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I whisper.
She turns to me, eyebrows raised. “What?”
“Nothing,” I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. “You gonna give me directions to your house?”
This girl and her random questions and too bright eyes, with her hair the color of an autumn sunset is going to be the death of me, I can already tell.
“Take a right at the next light,” she tells me.
I nod and glance at her out of the corner of my eye. Her hand is still out the window, and her face is turned mostly away from me. She’s quiet, no longer humming along to the song. I reach over and gently put my hand on her leg.
“You okay?”
She nods, but doesn’t look at me, so I squeeze her leg.
“Do I keep going straight on this road?”
“Yeah, but turn left when you get to Mendenhall.”
“Okay . . . Lucy?”
“Yes?”
“Are you okay? Give me the real answer.”
She’s quiet for a minute, then turns to look at me and her eyes are so sad I feel it in my chest.
“Tonight was one of the best nights I’ve had in months.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
She shrugs and pulls the sleeve of my sweatshirt down over her hands again. She’s blinking fast, and I think she’s trying not to cry. I see the street sign for Mendenhall Road up ahead, so I slow down and put my blinker on to turn.
“At the end of this road is another street called Rock Hill, my house is the fourth one on the left.” She directs. “And yes, it is a good thing, but the first thing I thought about was how badly I wanted to tell my dad about it. He would be so happy about my job, happy that I was doing something solely because I wanted to, not for anyone else.”
“Do you do that a lot? Make decisions based on other people?”
“I mean, I chose a career because I thought it would make my dad proud. I picked a college because it was close, and it was where Allie was going, too. In high school, I played volleyball because my friends played volleyball. I drive an old Honda CRV because that’s what my mom used to drive. I think almost every single major life decision I have made, up until this job, has been made based on someone else’s expectations of me. And I don’t . . . I don’t even know what it is I want out of my own life, and I’m twenty-three years old. That’s kind of pathetic, right? My house is right here on the left.”
I pull into her driveway and turn my truck off, then turn to face her.
“Lucy,”
“Yes?”
“It’s not pathetic to want approval, especially from your parents. But from everything I’ve heard about your dad, especially from the way you talk to him at the grave site, he sounds like he would have been proud of you simply because you’re you. And I don’t know your mom, but I think she would feel the same way. High school is high school, we all did whatever we possibly could to fit in back then, even if it was being someone we weren’t. Sometimes you just have to give yourself some grace and a little bit of time to figure out who you are and who you want to be.”
“What if they aren’t the same person? Who I am and who I want to be?”
I shrug. “Then you change. But if you want my opinion, the woman you are now is perfect just the way she is. You don’t need to change for anyone.”
