AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Sometimes. Sometimes I get in my car and roll my windows down and scream lyrics to sad songs at the tops of my lungs. Sometimes I go to Allie’s house and shoot one of her dad’s guns.”
“What was that last one?” Wyatt sputters.
“Allie’s dad hunts and her brother’s into sporting clays. They live on about ten acres of land in Randolph County. I’m a decent shot,”
He shakes his head. “Anything else you do?”
“I write. And I talk to someone. Maybe you should try that.”
“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”
I shake my head and smile sadly at him, “Yeah, you are. But, Wyatt, I don’t know if I’m the best person you should be talking to. I’m grieving too. I’m breaking too. Maybe you should see a therapist.”
Wyatt blinks at me, then looks away. “You think I’m screwed up, too. That I need fixing.”
I sigh and reach out, gently brushing the hair out of his face and cupping his cheek.
“I don’t know why you think it’s such a bad thing to be broken. My heart is nothing but shattered pieces that I couldn’t possibly put back together even if I wanted to. And all those pieces are aching with the loss that I have experienced. And I know yours is the same way. But just because a heart is broken doesn’t mean it can’t still work.”
“What are you saying?” he croaks.
“I’m saying . . . maybe weneedto break sometimes. Maybe the breaks are how the light gets in.”
A tear slides down his cheek and I smile, even as I feel my own start to sting. I take his face in both hands now, wiping the tear with my thumb.
“I want that, Lucy. I’m so tired of the dark,” he whispers.
“I know. So start trying again. Startlivingagain.”
“What if I don’t know how?”
“Fake it till you make it?” I suggest and he laughs.
“Lucy?”
“Yeah, Wyatt?”
“I don’t . . . I don’t think I can go with you this weekend. And I hate that, I hate letting you down, but—”
“I know, it’s okay. You need to stay.”
“I need to stay.”
He’s not just talking about this weekend. He just doesn’t want to say it. And I feel my heart break a little more as a tear slides down my own face. Wyatt stands and pulls me up with him, holding me tightly. He fits his face perfectly in between my neck and shoulder, and I rub my hand along the back of his head. We stay like that for a while, until he pulls back and stares into my eyes, searching.
“Lucy?”
“Yeah, Wyatt?”
“I . . . I know this is selfish and I shouldn’t ask it of you, but do you think maybe you could wait for me? Because I’m going to put in the work this time. I’m going to be better. To do better.”
I smile at him, leaning up on my tip-toes and pressing my forehead to his.
“Yeah, Wyatt. I’ll wait.” He lets out a breath and I smile. “I’ve got nothing but time.”
He takes hold of my face and presses his lips to mine. This is different from our first kiss, this one is slow. Steady. Like neither of us are in a hurry, like we both know it won’t be the last. His lips are impossibly soft, and I can taste the salt from both of our tears. His hands on my face are gentle. I have never felt this cherished, thissafe, in my entire life.
I pull away first, placing my hand on his chest and pushing him away gently. I press my fingertips to my lips, just for a second, before I look back up at him.
