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“Mm, how very poetic of you.”
I laugh and he does too and my heart aches a little for him. It’s funny how someone can come into your life and seep into every nook and cranny of it. You go years without them, but then one day you don’t want to go five minutes without hearing their laugh or seeing their smile.
“Hey, Wyatt?”
“Yeah, Lucy?”
“Promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me you’ll fall in love.”
“What?”
“You deserve all the good things in life, Wyatt. All the things that used to terrify you. You deserve a beautiful life, one that makes you so happy your heart aches a little from the joy of it. And you deserve to fall deeply, madly, uncontrollably in love. Just as much as you deserve to have someone love you back. Fall in love, Wyatt. Make someone your sun and moon and stars and watch how much that love brightens up your life. Promise me.”
I don’t realize I’m crying until a tear falls from my chin onto my thigh.
“Where is this coming from, Lucy?”
“Nowhere. I just think you deserve to know what it feels like to love like that.”
“Do you know what it feels like?”
I smile at the waves, and even though he’s not here to see me, I nod.
“Yeah, Wyatt. I do, and I think it’s your turn.”
“I promise, Lucy.”
When we hang up, I put my phone face down on the arm of the chair and stand, leaning against the deck. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I get back home. I don’t know if Wyatt and I will pick up where we left off, or if we’ll need a little more space. But I meant it when I said I would wait, because even if I’m not falling in love with him yet, I feel myself tip-toeing towards it.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Wyatt
Three Months Later
Octoberwasalwaysmyfavorite month. I loved the colors—the way the air felt crisp and fresh. And then my mom took her last breath the night of October tenth, and took all the color and joy with her. But as I sit on Buck’s back this morning, looking out at the steam rising over the pond and the leaves of the trees in brilliant shades of red and orange and brown, I feel it seeping back in.
Fall in love, Wyatt.
And I have. Just not in the way she wanted me to—not yet. Instead, I’ve fallen in love with my life. I know that wasn’t what she meant, but it’s a start.
I check the time on my watch and pull on Buck’s reins, tugging him back in the direction of the house. At the barn, I take off his saddle and give him a good brushing before letting him out in the paddock with Oreo. I stick my hands in the pockets of my hoodie as I walk back to the house, smiling when I see Willa’s car behind my truck.
She’s sitting at the kitchen island, talking to Dad about one of her classes this semester. Dad’s at the stove making her an egg sandwich, and I lean against the door frame, watching them.
It feels a little bit like Mom’s here, in the room, with us—Shania Twain playing softly on the Bose speaker Dad’s got in the corner of the kitchen, laughing at Willa. And I smile, because she would love this. The three of us, eating breakfast on a Saturday morning just like we used to.
“You just gonna stand there and watch or are you going to help me cook?” Dad calls to me over his shoulder.
“Mm, depends. How big of a breakfast are you cooking?”
“Grab that pan and spatula, unless you don’t want pancakes.”
I do as he says and join him at the stove. He smiles at me and I smile back. We’re on good terms now. Turns out I wasn’t too old to need a parent after all—it also helped that I moved out.
