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“I wish you hadn’t, but it wasn’t the worst thing you had to see today.” He kissed me again and again. “Oh, Bridget. Thank you for being okay. Thank you.”
As promised, we dried off then he wrapped me in scratchy motel sheets. “I don’t have any other clothes.”
“I’ll get you something. It’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”
I sat up. “Michael, I should go with you to the hospital.”
“No, you should sleep. You should let some of this adrenaline go. Tomorrow, you can give all of this to me. I’m still too raw right now but tomorrow you can. I’ll take it. It’ll be my burden, not yours.”
I opened my arms and he crawled into them. He whispered, “I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep, and then for a while after that. Just rest.”
I didn’t think I could sleep, but my eyes closed when he drew me close. Magically, though, he could make even the worst days go away, just by holding me safe in his arms.
When I woke up later, the sun shone through the window, glinting off dust motes like glitter. A neat pile of clothes waited for me near the window, so I rose and stretched. Finding brewed coffee in the pot surprised me, and it spoke to how out of it I had been—I always woke if I caught a whiff of fresh coffee.
I headed into the bathroom to find Michael thought of more of my needs than I would’ve remembered. After brushing my hair with the brush waiting on the bathroom sink, I also cleaned my teeth and washed my face. My reflection still gave death warmed over, but at least I smelled fine. My guess was Roy waited in the hall, and I was right. “I’m sorry you have to spend so much time sitting outside of rooms waiting for me.”
He shook his head and handed me a bag. “Bagel. Cream cheese. Did you drink coffee? I know he made some already.”
“No. My stomach cannot do caffeine right now, but thanks for the reminder, though.”
He nodded. “Let’s head to the hospital, unless you want to go back to the house. I am supposed to offer you that, too, but I think we both know you’re not leaving.”
He was right about that.
Hospital time moved fast and slow, especially in waiting rooms. I sank in and out of seats next to Michael. Sometimes I needed to stretch; sometimes he did. Sometimes I paced, and sometimes he did. In the end, Roy cried when Stephen woke up. Michael turned away, so I couldn’t tell if he did.
Stephen faced a long road to recovery, but he was going to be okay. No dying, as promised. I walked over to his bed, and he reached his hand toward me. “Thank you, Bridget. I was supposed to save you, but you saved me.” He barely whispered the words, and I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.
I didn’t know what would’ve happened if he’d died, and I was glad not to know.
We left the next day, when Stephen’s mother arrived. Apparently, Stephen and Michael had an agreement. Michael never called her to the hospital unless it was clear Stephen would live. It was important to Stephen that his parents not sit in a waiting room only to learn he’d died. He would prefer Michael tell her after he’d passed, somewhere closer to home, where she’d have support. His father, too, because the waiting room would be terrible for his heart. That was the deal. I told Michael about Cheryl but I didn’t know if he called her or if he was going to leave that to Stephen.
So we waited until they came, and then we took the helicopter back home.
“This is never going to be my favorite way to travel,” I yelled at him when we’d been up for five minutes.
He smiled. “Me neither, truthfully, but I’m grateful for it now.”
The house was quiet when we arrived. I stepped inside and the surrealness of it struck me hard. Everything was cleaned up, scrubbed, as if that night had never happened. Even the poker game had been put away—I never did get around to cleaning up after the game. The air conditioning buzzed, and the normalness was a disguise for the memories I could still see as if they’d just happened. I walked inside carefully, as though blood might suddenly appear and coat me in the sticky redness again, so hard to wash off.Blood. Brain matter. Skull.I hated to think about any of it.
To get to Michael’s bedroom, I had to pass the office. I couldn’t hide from where it happened, much as I might like to. Instead, I forced myself to stand there and stare.It is just a place. A terrible thing happened here, but it’s just a place.
Michael came behind me, placing his chin on my shoulder. “I never saw it coming, Bridget. Not Tito. I still can’t make one plus one equal two with him. I am going to spend time trying to figure out when he was in Russia. And how I missed it.”
I leaned into him. “If that’s what you need for closure. For me, I just think it’s all over. You killed the Russians, and they had someone set up to take me out if they weren’t successful. He almost seemed…reluctant.”
“It just doesn’t make sense to me. We both saw that murder in Russia. Why kill just you? Why wouldn’t they have him in place to kill me, too? He told you that I wouldmournyou. That doesn’t sound like Russian mobsters. It’s not their style; they wanted to wipe the slate clean. I am, just…something isn’t adding up for me, and until it does, this isn’t over. I’m sorry.”
So we wouldn’t be making plans? He said we would,when this is over. I asked, “Just tell me what you were thinking? In terms of those plans we were going to make. Something. Anything.” I don’t know why, but I needed even a tiny shard of something shaped like hope.
He sighed. “I don’t feel like I can do that, not until you’re safe. I shouldn’t even touch you until I’m sure you’re safe, so that I’m positive my focus isn’t distracted, but I don’t care. I love you. I need you in my bed with me. I have to love your body like an addict needing a hit, but I won’t take things further until you are free to walk away from me.”
I turned in his arms, considering his logic. “I think that makes the slightest bit of sense. Some might even call it romantic. I just hate it.”
His lips curled into that sensuous smile of his, the one that promised things even when his words didn’t. “Yes, but you still haven’t told me that you love me, so I may just be wasting my time, anyway.” He lifted his brows in a teasing manner.
I stared at him.Fuck.He wasn’t wrong. I really hadn’t said it outright. “I love you, Michael Li. I love you, like, Ineedyou to exist, okay? I love youcompletely. I…”
