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A baby and a new family!
I fell asleep to the wonderful prospect of having a chance with Viktor.
~*~
The negative test layon the counter.
Four days of giddy excitement had followed the two preceding days of sheer panic. There had been a thousand dreams in my mind until I’d woken with cramps this morning. And now that cruel blue line of confirmation shattered every hope.
“Now I know how I really feel about him,” I whispered brokenly.
And he never called.
Hanging my head over the bathroom sink, I pinched my eyes closed. The tears were going to fall, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t fight them. One thing was for sure, I couldn’t go crawling to Tor. He’d left, making it clear whatever we had wasn’t happening again.
I hated myself for feeling. For caring. It had been a mistake. I should never have offered the contract to Viktor. Thankfully, I didn’t tell him I dreamed about trying what we had for real.
A baby would have been an easy way to open the doors of communication and bridge the distance between us. But with no baby, what was there now? Nothing. Because I wouldn’t go crawling to him, no matter how badly I wanted to talk to him. He shut the door, and I wouldn’t open it. It was well and truly over between us.
Chapter 15 – Viktor
Five Weeks Later
––––––––
In paradise, I toldBriana I didn’t have women sleep over. What I never added was that there had been precious few romps since freshman year started. And because I’d been working on building her trust, I hadn’t wanted to scare her by admitting I’d gone for long periods without intercourse, and that those periods only became longer the more I got to know her. Without realizing it myself, my body had known what it wanted—and on that damn island I found it.
And now that I’d finally had her, I was in hell.
When I got back to LA, the best thing to do would have been to get laid—to screw Briana Pelto out of my system. But no matter the distance or the handful of weeks that separated us, I hadn’t been able to touch another woman.
Duty had called, and it left me with a shit hand. The cards fell without my control, and I’d had no choice but to leave the most amazing girl I knew. The only thing keeping me going was the knowledge it would be too dangerous to continue a relationship with Briana. But knowing it was better this way still didn’t make cutting ties any less painful.
As I looked out the window of the non-descript service van and palmed the gun in my hand, I told myself for the thousandth time that it was for the best. So what if I could have drawn out the trip in paradise? It was something I’d been planning to ask Briana the day of the wedding—on that same morning before the damned phone call.
But in the end, it didn’t matter if I’d managed to steal more time. My life had always been like a ball and chain, pulling me away before anything irreparable could happen. There might be a hole in my chest, but it was always there, and the fact I’d found someone who could fill it didn’t change the fact that it remained empty. A life with Briana was a dream, and I’d been yanked awake with that cruel reminder.
