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Tears streamed down her face. They weren’t all sad tears, either. These were hot, angry tears, and they existed for no other reason than she was frustrated Simon had changed.
At some point, he had stopped being the person who supported her with blind adoration.
Katrina slumped down on her bed and sat there, staring at nothing in particular. She couldn’t blame him for being angry, which was another reason for her frustration. He deserved to find his happiness too. Hadn’t she told him he should chase after that idea he had about horse training?
Clutching at herself, she fell back on her bed and closed her eyes as tight as she could. Stars materialized behind her lids, pulsing in beat with the pounding in her head. She’d never thought she’d be stuck in a position like this.
First of all, she’d never envisioned settling down with a cowboy. She’d always seen herself with a man in a suit—someone who owned his own company and could take her to exotic places. But that was all a fairytale. She could see it now.
Just because she hadn’t ended up falling for a city boy didn’t mean she wasn’t still counting on finding a home in a place like Salt Lake or Los Angeles. Even Simon knew how much she wanted to settle down somewhere similar.
He really shouldn’t have been surprised.
The more she mulled over these depressing thoughts, the more racked with guilt she became.
Because she really wanted that job—more than New York, more than Los Angeles.
Her chest heaved with more angry sobs. She couldn’t walk away from this opportunity. Deep down, she knew that. It was the chance of a lifetime, and they’d assured her that if she stuck it out with them, she’d have the option of working remotely.
That was the only reason she’d accepted. A few years in Utah and maybe she could return to Rocky Ridge.
To Simon.
The tears continued streaming down her face and she rolled onto her side. Based on how Simon had reacted, she wasn’t so sure he would be open-minded enough to agree to something like that. She’d heard it in his voice.
Simon wanted to start a family. He didn’t want to make her feel pressured, which in and of itself was sweet, but he really wanted them to work out.
Unfortunately, real life was messy, and nothing ever worked out the way she wanted it to. The way Katrina saw it, she had a couple different paths to choose from.
She could quit the job before she’d even started it and plead for Simon to forgive her for her mistake. She could beg him to give the long-distance thing a try and see if eventually she’d be given the opportunity to work remotely. Or she could cut ties off entirely.
That last one made her so sick to her stomach she had to pull a pillow tight against her body to ground her. Since they were both a little on edge and neither would be willing to make the first move, she’d have time to come up with a plan. And if Simon came to her first, then perhaps she wouldn’t have to make the hard choices.
Katrina lost track of time. She’d kept her eyes shut and the next thing she knew, there was light pouring into her bedroom. Static made her hair cling to her face and her bedding, giving her the worst bedraggled appearance she was sure she’d ever had.
She couldn’t bring herself to climb out of bed, and seeing as no one came knocking on her door, she might even be lucky enough to hide away for the next twenty-four hours. There was zero energy left in her body. Katrina couldn’t even bother to roll off the bed and change out of her overalls.
Instead, she stared at the wall, wishing a solution would materialize. She cared for Simon more than she’d cared for anyone. She might even love him, which was why she hadn’t had the strength to break it off then and there in his bedroom.
Love.
It wasn’t fair.
How could the universe give her someone like Simon for her entire life, keeping him just at arm’s reach? How could it then thrust him into her bubble and allow her to fall for him when she clearly had other plans with her life?
But most of all, how could she sit here both weighed down with guilt and yet too stubborn to make a change? Why couldn’t she simply let go of her dream?
Because she’d be settling, that’s why.
Not that she’d be settling for Simon. He was amazing.
No, Katrina would be settling for a life she didn’t want—one that was filled with the mundane and nothing at all like she’d dreamed she’d have. Wasn’t that worth something?
A knock at her door startled her and she shot up in bed. Sharp, pinprick stabs sliced through her skull, and she brought her hand to her head as she muttered, “Yeah?”
She’d expected to see Simon, or even her folks or her brothers. But when the door opened and Brianne entered, she got the strangest feeling of déjà vu.
“Brianne?”
