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But he did know better.
Simon hadn’t slept at all last night. He was exhausted, and after he’d gotten his daily chores done, he’d come right over. They had a lot to discuss—a lot she wouldn’t be thrilled to hear him say.
He didn’t dare move farther into her room for fear if he did, he might crumble. Instead, he pulled back his shoulders and crossed his arms. If he could get through this conversation with her in one piece, he might just be able to survive the next few months of heartache.
“I didn’t think I’d see you so soon,” she mumbled.
“I didn’t want you to have to wonder where I stand.”
She nodded.
“I don’t want you to move to Salt Lake.”
Again, she nodded. “I know.”
“Then why did you apply there?” He took a deep breath, but it shuddered as he exhaled. “Was I… not enough?”
Simon hated the way his voice trembled, thankful that it didn’t break entirely.
“Of course you’re enough,” she muttered, “it’s just that I had this vision of what my life would be like, and it wasn’t…”
“It wasn’t with me.”
There it was. That was the answer he needed before he could move forward.
“That’s not it at all.” Katrina huffed and shifted on her bed, her eyes clouding over. “And you’re not being fair. I’ve always wanted a job that was bigger than myself. You know that. You supported me through it every chance you got. I’m not the one who changed, it’s you.”
“You’re right,” he snapped. “Ihavechanged. I know what I want and I’m actually willing to go after it.”
She stilled, her mouth snapping shut in the process.
“I know this might not make sense to you, but I want you. I’m in love with you, Katrina. I wantus.”
Her eyes dropped to her hands and her face flushed.
“There’s just one big problem.” He waited for her to look at him again before he continued. “I don’t think you feel the same way.”
This time, she straightened and opened her mouth, clearly ready with a snappy comeback, but he held up his hand to prevent her from saying anything that would only make this moment worse.
“I love you too much to let you settle for me.”
“Simon—”
“No. You know as well as I do that you’d never be happy here. You know that eventually you would get that itch to move somewhere else. It’s who you are. Heck, it’s even one of the things that I adore about you. Katrina, you’re one of those people who can chase your dreams without the paralyzing fear that you won’t be good enough. You have a talent for seeking out new opportunities where you can shine. And I know you’ll never get that here. Rocky Ridge isn’t your home.”
His gut tightened, roiling uncontrollably. “That’s why I came here to tell you that we can’t continue seeing each other. Not long distance, not even if you stay.”
Emotion burned in the back of his throat, and he had to cough to clear it. No weakness. He couldn’t show her how much this was tearing him up inside, because then she might actually stay out of guilt.
Katrina had to make her own choices and follow whatever called to her. That was the only way she’d be happy.
“I want you to be happy,” he whispered.
She blinked and a tear slipped from her eyelash down her cheek.
He wore a sad smile, but kept his feet rooted where he stood. “I don’t want either one of us to feel like we’re settling. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew you resented me for making you stay with me. And I refuse to let you blame yourself for us not working out.”
“Simon—” she tried again in a whisper, “I don’t know if I can?—”
