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Kai just gripped me, pulling me into a heated, demanding kiss before breaking away, breathless. “Don’t you see that youare?You’re worth all of this and more.”
“Kai, come on. I know it hurts more than anything else, but I can do a small amnesia spell, so you won’t remember what’s happened between us. You’ll be happy and safe.”
“I don’twantto be safe if it means losing you!” He clung to me as his eyes grew red-rimmed. I could hear Kai’s words cracking with unadulterated agony, and I swore that my heart broke with each syllable out of his mouth. “I was incomplete before your curse ended. I lived an empty life, searching for something that was perpetually out of my reach. I was miserable, and it waskillingme!”
Wait, what? No, no, that wasn’t right. The curse I put on him was supposed to make it so he couldn’t sense his mate at all. I never thought about whether it could protect him from sensing theabsenceof his mate.
“I don’t care what happens with the curse, just don’t send me back to that half-life. I’d rather you just kill me here and now.” He kissed me again, and it tasted of tears and desperation. I hated that I was hurting him, and I felt the resolution within me flag. But I needed to be strong! We couldn’t be together -not that we ever were, really. I needed… I needed…
It was just that I’d had no idea that I was torturing him for three years almost as much as I was torturing myself. Could I really send him back to that? Was that really the right thing?
It had to be, right? Because a world where Kai was a bit heartbroken but alive was surely better than a world where I’d killed him. Ithadto be.
“I don’t care how powerful you are. I don’t care what you brew. You can curse me until I’m under thousands of spells, I will still find my way back to you.” He was crying openly now, and I was choking back my own tears. If I didn’t get a rein on things soon I was going to end up outright sobbing. “Not just because we’re fated mates but because Iloveyou, and nothing can change that.Nothing,do you hear me?”
I was folding, and I knew it, but I clung to the scant reasoning I had left, because as much as I was loathe to hurt Kai, I also didn’t want him dying. Didn’t want the malevolent curse on me devouring him as it had others.
“What about your intended?” I asked, scrambling for something to help push myself away from him. I would be resolute. Iwould.
“Ugh, that. She’s a noble girl my uncle has been trying to finagle into our family for a decade. I’ve never met her, and I have no intention to.Youare my mate, Ayla. You, and no one else.”
He kissed me once more, and when he pulled away, my lips kiss-bruised and puffy, there was a real passion in his eyes. I'd take that any day over breaking his heart.
“I just… I’ll stop the war.”
That was so absurd it actually startled a laugh out of me.
“I’m sorry, you’llwhat?”
“I’m going to stop the war. That way I can end this violence, and we can focus solely on breaking your curse. You won’t have to worry about protecting me, and we can lead our people into an era without war.”
I couldn’t tell if he was talking crazy just to dissuade me, or if he’d actually gone mad. All I knew was my mate, my fated soul, was desperate to ensure we were never parted again.
“I’ll challenge my father for the throne.”
My eyes snapped open about as wide as they could go, but Kai kept right on going. It was clear to me that he was hitting his stride with his insane plan, and I was just along for the ride.
“I wasn’t strong enough before, but with you at my side and us mated, I will be. I can finally change everything. Together, we can help all of our people.” He looked at me with true love, and I knew that was it. I couldn’t rip that away from either of us. “So please, Ayla, my love, my mate, don’t curse me. I don’t give you my consent because I believe in us. In our future.”
I should have done it, and I knew I should, but there were only so many times I could lose the same internal argument before I just got tired of going through the rigmarole over and over again.
“I won’t curse you,” I said finally. I barely got the last syllable out before I was suddenly picked up and spun around, Kai laughing gloriously. Once I was back on my feet, he was peppering my entire face with kisses.
Maybe I was the crazy one for thinking I could ever give up his easy love and affection. Now that I’d seen the sun, I couldn’t imagine going back into that dark abyss of self-isolation.
“But there is something you have to do,” I said once I got a moment to breathe.
“Anything. Whatever you want!”
“We’ll need to find a very powerful witch, warlock, or sorcerer who can put a counter-spell on you, to buy us some time. It won’t work indefinitely, but the longer it can hide you from my curse, the greater chance we can break it before it can hurt you.”
“Done. I’ll send out messengers. Hell, I’ll even post a reward. I just can’t do this without you, Ayla. We’re meant to be.”
I knew what I wanted to say, knew what my soul longed for me to utter, and for a moment my mind took me through a short vision of what it would be like to just give in.
I let out a tiny little sigh, knowing he was right. “Yeah, we are, aren’t we?”
We kissed one more time, and it was full of so much promise, so much earnest dedication, that it threatened to make me cry all over again. How could I deny myself such peace? It was like being home when I’d never really known what home actually was. A haven where I could just be Ayla, not the healing hermit, not the cursed child my coven agreed to watch over. Just Ayla.
