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“Ayla,” Kai said gently, removing his hands from my shoulders. I hadn’t even realized he’d still been holding on, but the moment he broke contact, I could feel myself weakening. “You can’t keep taking full responsibility for a thing that’s punishing you just as much as it’s hurting the people around you.”
More placation by Kai. Of course, he felt that way. He was my mate. But I didn’t miss how Oren cocked his head to the side and frowned.
“What do you mean by ‘punishing’?”
Had everything been given away with just one simple word? I didn’t reply right away before Darla sat up.
“Ayla, I know it’s not entirely in your nature, but I need you to be honest with me. I’ve always suspected, especially after meeting your coven, but I couldn’t be sure.” She paused, as if collecting her thoughts, and I’d have rather been in the fire. “Are you cursed?”
Shit.
Chapter 6
Kai
Shit.
I’d messed up.
I hadn’t really thought about my words, I’d just wanted to comfort my mate. She was blaming herself for everything, and considering I’d barely saved Ayla from roasting in her own bed, I didn’t want her to deal with that.
I closed my eyes against the onslaught of resent memories that tried to replay the entire scene in my head. How I’d woken up to the fire alarm blaring and rushed out into the hall to see the fastest traveling blaze I’d ever seen rush its way up the stairs.
It was chaos as everyone tried to flee. But my first thought was of Ayla.
I’d hoped to find the door open and her room empty, but no such luck. The entrance was sealed tight, and when I reached for the knob, it burned itself into my palm like a brand.
I’d cursed, but if her doorknob was already furnace red, I couldn’t imagine what it was like for Ayla in that room. I’d practically gone feral, beating against her door until I was able to bust it off its hinges.
A sob sounded from Ayla, drawing me out of my memory. I hated myself, right down to my core, for fumbling theconversation enough to hurt her so, but another part of me also felt maybe, just maybe, it’d be better for her if she didn’t have to hide such an intense secret.
“I am,” Ayla murmured, her hands covering her face as if she was hiding her open crying. “I’m cursed, and I always have been.”
I didn’t ever want Ayla to cry, but I also wanted her to know it was okay if she did. I couldn’t imagine the number of emotions churning within after the life she’d lived: years of isolation, of blame for every misfortune happening to those around her. It made sense sometimes if her tears came much more easily than she’d like, but there was nothing to be ashamed of. She wasn’t weak, she wasn’t overly emotional, she was just my beautiful mate recovering from all the traumas dealt to her.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” I said, settling into a sitting position behind Ayla and wrapping my arms around her waist.
“I’m a homing beacon for danger. For death.” Ayla said, her voice still quivering. “It hurts everyone around me.”
Darla reached forward, not pulling Ayla away from me but taking my mate’s soot-covered hands in her own. “I’m so sorry, dear. That sounds awful.”
“I call it my malignant shadow. It latches onto whoever is in my life. They’re struck with bad luck, misery, and injury until, eventually, they die some awful, painful death. It’s happenedsomuch, and it’s going to happen again here.” Those sobs she was fighting finally won the battle, bubbling up from her throat in a desperate rush. “I know I need to stay away from all of you, but it’s sohardnow. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t, then I let myself have all these little exceptions, and now you’ve nearly died twice! I can’t keep casting this awful shadow over all of you.”
She sounded so incredibly helpless. I hated that she was hurting and I could do nothing besides hold her.
“Ayla, if the curse is as bad as you say, I don’t think keeping away from us is possible,” Darla said, still tenderly holding Ayla’s hands. I was so happy that, despite her determination to martyr herself, she wasn’t completely alone.
“What do you mean?” My mate hiccupped, her breathing only steadying.
“I mean a curse like this isvicious.Even if you lived a life of total isolation, it needs to be fed. Let’s say you go five years without talking to a single person. All that malevolent energy will build up and up, then even crossing someone on the street will be enough to knock them dead.”
“How do you know this?” Ayla murmured, and I was curious as well.
“I may not be a magic user, but I’ve walked in many minds and seen some nasty stuff. Especially when I was younger.” She tilted her head to the side, a soft but pained expression on her pretty features. “I’ve never really told you about my younger years, have I?”
Ayla shook her head.
“It’s a story for another day, but I lived close to a school of light magic. You’d be amazed what you can pick up when you’re an undiagnosed psychic going through puberty.” Darla leaned forward, resting her forehead against Ayla’s. It was the closest I’d ever seen the two, and it filled me with such contentment. Darla, although wasn’t a wolf, was pack.
