AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Gone was the round-cheeked girl who was barely an adult when I left, replaced by a face that was undoubtedly DeLune: high cheekbones, dark eyes, and all. Her hair had grown even longer, done up in the complicated royal style I remembered Amelia favoring often.
Her clothes were never simple, not as part of the reigning family, but she was wearing a lavish, traditional dress which made her look like... like... well, her mother’s daughter.
She stood there as if my presence hadn’t startled her at all, or maybe she was angry with me. I’d abandoned her, after all. I’d done it with the best of intentions in my heart, but those were the facts.
Or had the court influenced her as it did my sister? Turning her into some vapid, fake persona like Amelia? After all, my closest sibling in age hadn’t always been so conniving, so apt at court protocol. Once, she was a little girl who dreamed of normal things and had normal emotions.
I couldn’t let my ketones spike with grief. I thought I’d long since come to terms with the loss of Amelia, but something about being back in the place made the wound ache anew.
But all doubt, fear, and worry vanished the moment my youngest sister threw her arms wide, an expression of pure joy alighting across her features.
“Nikki!” she cried again, this time much louder and happier. The next thing I knew, she was dashing toward me despite her expensive, heavy clothes, and throwing herself into my arms.
I did the only thing a big brother in my position could do. I picked her up and swung her around, unable to stop myself from smiling so hard I swore my cheeks creaked.
“I missed you so much,” Seraphina continued, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. My little sister was still there, still full of joy and open emotion.
At the same time, I couldn’t understand how she wasn’t angry with me. For all intents and purposes, I’d abandoned her, and left her in the care of people I knew mistreated her. They didn’t see her openness as an admirable trait, only an exploitable weakness. They judged her by the standards of whattheythought she should be instead of noticing the treasure she was, all pink cheeks and broad smiles. Kindness, curiosity, and empathy, wrapped into a princess who’d never rule.
“I missed you, too,” I said, kissing the top of her head, and by all the gods and all the spirits in the land, I meant it. I couldn’t help it, either, when my protective pheromones spiked, spreading all around us.
Eventually, I set her down, but I kept my hands on her arms, just looking her over like I was burning everything into my mind. I was determined to get back to my real home in Fort Canid, yet felt even more guilt at leaving my sister, once again. Would she forgive me a second time?
There was a reason I tried not to think of home. It would be easier if I just hated the place and cut all ties. But like everything else in my life, it was so complicated, with no seemingly obvious right or wrong answer.
I wished I could just whisk her away. She wouldlovethe gardens at Canid. My sister always had an affinity for plants despite shifters having no particular magic with them. When I was younger, I’d joke it was her sunny disposition, tricking all of them into thinking their light source was right in the room with them instead of in the sky high above. Back then, she’d giggle and tell me I was a dummy.
I missed those times.
“You could have written, you know,” Seraphina said reproachfully, pulling me back into the moment. I managed not to wince, but I did cringe internally. She was right, I could’ve written to her at any time. I’d tried, I really had, but any time I put pen to paper, I felt so overwhelmed with everything I was running from, how unfair I was being to her, and I’d give up, often without a single sentence getting finished.
“I’m sorry,” I said, finally letting go of her arms. “I should have. The situation just made it...difficult.”
“I imagine,” she said softly, and although her expression was jovial, I could see and smell the undercurrent of hurt laced through her words. “It’s not easy here, either, though.”
“I know.”
Our voices had grown much quieter, petering to nothing. We both knew her time at the palace, though different from mine, was layered with just as much scrutiny and gossip thanks to her condition.
“I did worry about you,” I said, as if that fixed anything. I half expected her to tell me if I really was worried about her, I’d have written, but my sister was far too understanding. Instead, she nodded her head and let out the tiniest little sigh.
“That’s good to know. I accept your apology as long as you don’t do it again.” Then she pushed all of the bitter, astringent tinge to her scent away and beamed. “’Cause if you do, I’ll find a way to be the most annoying little sister I can be.”
Somehow, I didn’t doubt it. I loved Seraphina but always thought I was lucky she chose to apply her cleverness and tenacity for good. If she ever decided to be a menace, whew, she’d be quite the pointed thorn.
I wasn’t just saying that because once, when she was especially cross with our parents after something they’d done and refused to acknowledge, she’d somehow captured three raccoons and released them in the king and queen’s sitting room. They weren’t ordinary racoons, either. These were especially food motivated with a particular love of apples, which my sister hid all over the chamber. The finishing touch was how she’d shaved a number into the backs of each of them. One, two, and four.
The servants had spent a good day looking for mysterious number three before realizing a ten-year-old had duped them all.
“Threat understood,” I said, leaning forward to kiss the top of her head once more, a seal on my brotherly promise. I’d always been a relatively tactile person, but when it came to people I loved, like Seraphina, Oren, or Ayla, my first instinct was alwaystouch. A high five, a clap on the back, a shoulder bump, a hug, or a little kiss always felt right to me. I wondered if I’d acted this way with everyone I’d been close to when I was younger, but my parents drilled it out of me. Goodness knew, a touchy, feely crown prince was at a higher risk for assassination, and even worse, appeared unseemly to the court.
It was only after I considered the joke I realized what I’d just admitted to myself.
I loved Ayla.
IlovedAyla.
I knew it was far too soon, and our relationship wasn’t the healthiest, and yet this was where we were. I hadn’t been in denial about our attraction to each other, or our fated matehood, but I’d been mentally dancing around one word ever since she found out about my hidden identity and didn’t give one lick beyond me keeping secrets from her.
