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“Are you all right, brother?”
I swallowed and brought myself back into the moment with a short nod. I loved my little sister, but she couldn’t know anything about my mate, at least not for a long while. The thought did make me sad, but it was necessary to protect them both.
“Just thinking,” I said more out of habit than answer.
“I know. You always are thinking.” She let out a quiet little sigh and walked to the wall, sitting on one of the overwrought, overly cushioned benches dotted along especially lengthy corridors. “Lately I’ve been thinking a lot, too.”
“Oh?”
She nodded. “I won’t pretend to understand why you left. Goodness knows, mother and father refused to tell me anything. They used to get so angry whenever I’d ask questions, eventually I learned it was better to never say something outright and just try to suss out the truth in a roundabout way.”
My sister really had grown up. She was still young, of course, but there was a weariness to her I knew all too well.
“What truth?” It wasn’t how I’d speak at the fort, but judging by my sister’s nod, I’d adapted back to palace speak just fine.
“Nothing solid, or at least I think nothing solid. But I know everything around us here is so... so... sugarcoated and unrealistic, like a little bubble set apart from everything else. But here’s the thing about bubbles, brother: they don’t last forever.” She lifted her gaze to me, and I saw a grim resignation on her features. “Bubblespop.I can’t help but feel like we’re getting closer and closer to the explosion.”
Wow.
My mother and father wouldn’t listen to me, my uncle was actively lying about the situation at the front, but my sister saw through them all. I didn’t need her confirmation, but I was proud she’d put things together while in the heart of our propaganda. Naïve? Not anymore, it seemed.
“Any time I evenhintat thoughts like that, I get called ridiculous. Politely, of course, always politely. Maybe that’s why so many people mince their words around me.”
I hated the insecurity in her tone. Her self-esteem must’ve taken so many hits in such a delicate time of her life.
“They mince their words around you because they’re spineless fools, and you see through them. You’re not ridiculous, and I’ll tell you whatever truths you want to know, no sussing needed.”
“Y-you take me seriously?” Her tone was shocked, and I wanted to hug her again, to assure her she was a wonderful, gregarious young woman who shouldn’t let the ravenous maw of our parents’ disapproval and need for perfection wear her down. “I’m not really used to that.”
“I take you seriously, and not just because you’re my favorite sister.”
The way her face lit up, her eyes growing somewhat misty, nearly broke my heart. “I’m your favorite?” she whispered, as if I’d just told her where the fountain of youth was.
“Of course,” I said. I sat next to her on the bench and pulled her into my arms, a big brother comforting his little sister, like I should have for so many years.
Neither of us added to the conversation for a couple of beats, but when Seraphina did speak again, her voice was unsteady.
“Have you been happy these last five years? Without any of the luxuries we have here?”
“It was rough at first but, yes, I’ve been happy. I don’t regret anything.”
That wasn’t entirely true. There were lives lost during our journey because of bad decisions I’d made. Like Irina. Tristian. They were just two in a list of others, and if I could, I’d save them all.
“Are you asking because you’re worried about living outside the palace when you’re eventually married off?”
At this, an ugly, bitter sound escaped her mouth. “There’s no risk of any marriage proposals coming forme.”
I was taken aback. “What do you mean? Are you not interested in marriage?”
The look she gave me was accusatory, like she thought I was making fun of her, but I didn’t quite understand. It would be one thing if my sister decided it wasn’t for her, or if she wasn’t interested in men, but her tone threw me off. She sounded more like shecouldn’tget married, not that she didn’t want to.
“Nikki, don’t be stupid. No one wants to marry a wolf who has no wolf. After all, I might pass it on to our children and,heaven forbid, curse them.”
“Seraphina, I—”
“I will admit, though, after seeing how Amelia’s marriage works, I’m not exactly keen on getting hitched for political reasons.”
“What’s wrong? Is he mistreating her?”
