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But I wasn’t under any illusion it would be easy. The Shrouded Shriek was about as close to the Boogeyman as someone could get, and yet I knew almost nothing about him. Surely there had to be some information out there.
Huh.
Maybe I should ask the magic users of the fort what they knew, especially those that came from more isolated cultures, like witches. If anyone knew information that would help with a warlock, it had to be her.
In the back of my head, my wolf growled about our fated mate. Yes, I needed to find her; it was eating away at me. But as much as I wanted, no,neededto find her, my people came first.
That was the price of being a leader, and one I didn’t take lightly. I'd fight tooth and nail, even lay down my life, if it meant protecting the innocent from enemy forces.
Right now, though, I had a certain healer I needed to question.
Chapter 7
Ayla
I woke from my nap feeling like I’d scraped myself across the heated blacktop, then rolled through sharp gravel. It certainly wasn’t a welcome sensation, and I groaned.
Really, it was my own fault. It was one thing that I’d dipped into my own life force to heal Kai and then re-establish the curse I’d made just for him, but it was another thing entirely to then wake up in the infirmary and throw myself into work as hard as possible.
Since I’d risen from my cot, I’d gotten maybe six hours of sleep in total, including the nap my boss had just forced me to take. What else was I supposed to do? Once I saw that Kai was still unconscious in one of the other infirmary beds, Oren dutifully at his side, I was inundated with worry.
I wanted to check on him, to take all his vitals, to give him medicine and potions, but I couldn’t. I had to stay in the peripheries and watch him be taken care of out of the corner of my eye.
My wolf was driven to the edge of insanity. The only real choice to keep the both of us from chewing at the literal walls was to throw myself into work as hard as possible.
It wasn’t like there was a shortage of things to do. There were plenty injured whose wounds weren’t fatal, so they’d waited patiently for treatment while more serious cases were tended to, and then there was the prolonged care for those aforementioned serious cases. There was always something to wash, sanitize, restock, brew, or tend to, and honestly, at least being useful actually made me feel somewhat better.
Of course, “better” was generous when my fated mate was only a few feet away from me yet had no idea of my existence, which meant wanting to pitch myself into the void so I wouldn’t have to feel the crushing nothingness within me.
Frankly, the phrase “It’s better to have loved than lost than never have loved at all” could eat shit. My heart ached in a way I never knew was possible. My soul was crying out for a part of it that was missing. That part wasn’t new, but I also now knewexactlyhow it felt when Kai and I were both allowed to be connected.
The feeling of it still haunted me, lingering in my dreams, which, naturally, made me rather reluctant to actually sleep. What I’d experienced three years ago was just a drop in the pan compared to the pure elation and contentment I experienced on the battlefield. It was like I’d had a taste of paradise and now had to return to the bland, boring gruel of a lonely life.
I groaned again. It didn’t help, but it helped take the tiniest edge off. I just needed to vent my frustration, and there weren’t any enemies around for me to take my rage out on.
My inner wolf certainly liked that idea. She wanted to sink her teeth into something and rip it to shreds, teaching them the ultimate lesson. I was inclined to agree with her. That certainly seemed like a better way to deal with things than just trying to power through.
But if I couldn’t sate my bloodlust, I’d just go for a run. Usually I tried to sneak out of the fort every other month or soto go running as a wolf, far out in the wilderness, away from the front lines, away from the vast expanse of the war zone. I stayed away from the human cities and settlements, too, which usually pushed me in a western direction.
The idea certainly seemed appealing… or it had before logic kicked in. I remembered that security was so tight after the attack that I'd never get out without being spotted.
After all the attention I’d drawn to myself by being the battleground medic, it was imperative that I lay low. I hadn’t realized how my actions had come across until Darla popped up in the infirmary with delicious smelling food and some herbs. It’d been so incredibly sweet, but I’d had to rebuff her, lest other people get ideas. She really was too kind to me.
Well, if I couldn’t go for a run, maybe I could just shift in my room and scent all of my things. I wore so many scent-suppressing things and took quite a few medications to avert my heat, but sometimes even my own room smelled far too sterile. While that may not bother certain cryptids, it certainly wasn’t natural for us wolf shifters.
Maybe it was a pack thing, maybe it was just a quirk of our nature, but almost all of us preferred to have a private place, a den, which smelled of them and the people they loved. It was one of the reasons new wolf recruits were often placed in the same barracks together. Such dens spoke of safety, of family, ofpacks,and that it was all right to nest. Here, one could be expected to be protected and cared for.
Crossing over to my door, I made sure all three of the locks on it were engaged. I hadn’t spent three years keeping my shifter nature a secret by forgetting simple things. Then, once I was sure that there was no chance of anyone spotting me, I let myself change.
Rapid or forced shifting could be a painful process, with the wolf bursting out of the human, but at my own pace, it was likediving into cool water. It washed over me, refreshing me down to the core.
It reminded me of summers when I was younger, not quite carefree, but certainly unburdened by much of what weighed on me in my adulthood. Like slipping into something warm, comfortable, but also oh so special.
A second later, I was standing there completely in wolf form. She practically crowed with happiness to be out, but she knew better than to actually make the sound out loud. Instead, it echoed around our heads, a cheery noise defying all the sorrow layered thick within me.
I wished we could run, and so did she, even as the barriers in our mind began to fall. I was stillAylawhen I was a wolf, but I was also something else entirely. A blended creature with all the needs of a wild animal but the complications of a civilized mind. Since running wasn’t an option, I went pacing, rubbing my flank, my paws, and my snout across all the things that were important to me. I knew I'd eventually have to scent-treat all of the fabrics before I took them to the laundry, but this always made my wolf so happy.
It took quite a while to properly scent my entire room, but once it did, I felt so much more comfortable. My wolf crooned over me, ever the nanny inside our mind. I could sense that she wished things were less complicated for me, and I certainly agreed.
