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As he continued to greet the troops, I thought back to the first moment I saw him from across the compound. It was like the world had stopped moving entirely, its axis disappearing, only for none other than Kai himself to become the center upon which it rotated. My inner wolfhowled, wanting to go to him, begging to, but I… Icouldn’t.
It’d taken every bit of strength I had not to give into the feral need rushing through me, hot and bright. Somehow I’d managed to rush back to my quarters and collect myself despite my inner wolf cursing at me with bared teeth the entire time.
I was so shocked. Never in a million years had I ever thought I'd have a fated mate, let alone that I'd run into mine during my military service. It just figured because the urge to protect him, to take care of him, prevented me from ever acting on these overwhelming feelings.
In the end, I always ended up hurting everyone around me. Everyone I was close to. All because of a stupid curse by a bastard of a magic user who apparently had it out for an infant.
The witches who helped raise me had tried for years to remove the curse—what I liked to call my Malignant Shadow—that’d been forced upon me. It sank into my skin, my very soul, spreading out to feed on those I loved.
So, I’d cursed Kai right back. Not with the Malignant Shadow or anything that would hurt him. No, I’d cut my own hand off before I did anything like that. But Ididcurse him with… blindness.
Except blindness wasn’t even an accurate description. It was a complete and total ablation of all his senses. Normally, itwould be the most extreme torture: locked within one’s own body without a sense of taste, smell, hearing, sight, touch, or perception of where one was in any given space, but I'd no desire to harm Kai. In fact, I’d cooked up my little spell specifically to save him.
I’d narrowed down the curse to just affect how his inner wolf saw me. He could still see and hear me, of course, so it wasn’t like I was invisible to him, but it cut him off from the natural ability to sense I was his mate. So to him, I was less than interesting, and just another soldier with the world’s mildest scent and a bland personality.
It was worth it—at least that was what I told myself—to keep him safe, even if sometimes it felt like it was ripping my heart out.
“Ah, I heard about your mother’s exploits in the fifth regiment. She was one of the best calvary we ever had. I look forward to seeing what you can do, cadet.”
There was his voice, drifting over to me and coiling around my heart. As usual, I let myself daydream of what it would've been like if I hadn’t cursed him. If I’d just let nature take its course so the two of us could be together.
They were a slippery slope, these daydreams, layered with earnest delusion atop a foundation of delicious temptation. I knew it, and yet I let my mind wander along these familiar fantasies, anyway.
I supposed I was a glutton for punishment that way.
But it was just soeasyto see. The special smile he’d send me, his mate. How he would hold me. Despite what I’d been through, my mind had no trouble conjuring up what it might be like to be loved and claimed by someone sowarm, so bright. A shining beacon of strength and compassion in the darkness spreading rapidly across our lands.
The further I went along with the daydream, the more I could feel my cheeks burning until I was surprised they didn’t spontaneously light themselves aflame. After all, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing to happen at Fort Canid.
But then I happened to make eye contact with Darla. She wiggled her eyebrows at me knowingly. Ugh. Even with the inhibitor bracelet all of us soldiers were given when we arrived at the fort, she could still see right through me.
Quickly looking down at my food, I shoveled another forkful into my mouth. I knew I should leave, but when I glanced up, with my mouth full of beans, my eyes didn’t connect with Darla’s. No. Suddenly I found myself looking into Kai’s dark, soulful eyes.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
I did my best to reign in my response, even if everything in me was screaming that heknew, but the moment barely lasted before his gaze moved away from me, not even registering I was there.
It made my heart ache something fierce, even if that was exactly what my curse was supposed to do. I was nothing to him, and nothing I must remain.
As much as I told myself that, though, electricity still ran through me each time I saw him. It really was excruciating torture being so close to the man I was supposed to be with and having it taken away before I was old enough to understand what a fated mate even meant.
But it would be worth it.
As long as Kai was safe, it wouldallbe worth it.
Chapter 2
Kai
“Thank you again for greeting us, Captain,” a new recruit said, an easy grin moving across his broad features. “Most officers wouldn’t do that.”
I let my eyes slide away from the accidental connection I’d made across the room and turned to the younger man.
“Of course. Without people like you, we’d have to turn tail and head back to our old borders,” I responded, letting the woman I’d made eye contact with fade from my mind. It was surprisingly easy, given I’d been curious about her for some time now.
I couldn’t say exactly when I met her. Each time I tried to recall, things would go fuzzy. Part of me wondered if she’d been a civvy that I’d met while drunk at a tavern, but for some reason, I never really thought about it for too long.
She was a nobody in terms of family, but she was an excellent healer, and that was all that mattered to me, even if she was so reserved I only saw her maybe once every other week.
