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“More,” Craig demands, and Sam presses a third finger in.
“Is that enough, babydoll?” he asks, voice rough. He’s past the widest part of his fingers when Craig shudders, passage rippling as though he’s trying to suck Sam deeper. “Poor boy, such a hungry hole. Let’s see if this is enough. Try to relax for me.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Craig says quietly. It takes several breaths for him to calm down at all, for his thighs not to squeeze Sam’s hips so tightly, for his passage to settle and accept the buried fingers for what they are—a substitute rather than what Craig really wants.
Craig is quiet on top of him, needing to be close and claimed. There’s a sniffle, and another murmured apology. His grip on Sam doesn’t lessen at all.
“You’re fine, sweetheart. I didn’t do a very good job taking care of your needs. Anything you want, if I can, then I will.”
Craig doesn’t speak. Sam thinks he’s still trying to get himself together after what they just did. He gives Craig more time, but the silence continues.
“You were incredible, Craig. You were so good for me.”
Craig starts to relax, just one muscle at a time, slightly less like a human barnacle. “What if I can’t stand losing you? It… hurts or something. Not physically but emotionally. Every time I lose your come, it feels like the end of the world, and then it happens again, and it’s worse than the time before. It’s not rational, it sounds stupid, but that’s how I feel. It’s like I’m dying, or my heart is breaking, and it’s just so fucking sad. I don’t think I can do this and just have to let it go again and again,” he says, collapsing back down onto Sam’s chest.
That wasnotwhat he expected Craig to say. And that is not a normal response for a submissive to have.
“Sweetheart, what did they do to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t doubt that you feel this way. I’ve seen it, I know it’s real for you, but it isn’t how other submissive soldiers feel. This… drastic. Was this part of the experiments, or were you trained, maybe hypnotized, to feel this way—”
“No,” Craig says quickly.
“What did they do for brainwashing?”
“Nothing,” he whispers, sounding afraid. “They couldn’t. I didn’t respond well to that.”
“What does that mean?”
“You saw. I got… angry. They’d try to show me videos of what it would be like when I got a Dominant, how he’d treat me, but I didn’t—didn’t need to be persuaded. Not ever, because I already wanted it. Wanted it before they did anything to me. Before the first surgery and experiment, belonging to a Dominant was all I thought about. I always wanted to be taken and used. It’s why I joined up.”
“You joined up to be submissive?” Sam asks, holding him tighter, wanting to reassure.
“Yes.”
“How did that change your training and enhancements?”
“What do you mean?”
It’s disturbing that Craig seems to have no idea what he’s talking about. Even though he enlisted decades ago, even though things have changed, surely some protections were in place then? Sam knows they were. But they weren’t universal. And they wouldn’t have been operating under standards and best practices at the black sites. If Craig was really as disposable as Sam suspects, and was always meant to die after mass experimentation, then they likely wouldn’t have put any safeguards in place for him.
No one would have asked any questions if Craig had died back then. He’d been alone when he’d signed up, had said he was submissive, willing to do anything the military wanted, and the genetic arms race was all-consuming. Life was cheap. He could be easily lost in the shuffle with his paper file and poor records.
Sam has to clear his throat before he can speak. “If a soldier comes in submissive, having a sexual proclivity to be used as you did, then the treatments are usually different,” he says, keeping the rest of his thoughts to himself.
“I didn’t… there are others who were submissive before the military?”
“Of course there are. You think you’re the only one who’s submissive and gay?” But it’s clear Craig did think that.
“I don’t know,” he whispers.
“It isn’t uncommon, sweetheart. You’re perfectly normal.”
Craig gasps.
“You didn’t tell them you were already submissive, did you?” Sam asks, and it all falls into place. It’s not good to double up on making a submissive person extra submissive. Some training and genetic splicing just isn’t done. He’s heard it described as similar to dog breeding, not wanting to breed bad traits because they can compound and corrupt a whole lineage.
