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6. Verbal agreements about rules or wishes are valid as long as the other party has verbally agreed to them.
Like that evening after the restaurant, a simple rule carried a lot of weight when you looked at it more closely.
7. All meetings are immediately interrupted if the word red or coconut is mentioned.
I had read about this too. When things got rough or certain types of play were being practiced, the word stop was not enough to interrupt the current action, because it could just as well be part of the game. So other words were needed. Words that could be clearly separated from the game and the action.
I would probably no longer think of coconuts as being as harmless as they were before. But I would put up with that if it meant I was always on the safe side.
The next rule made me raise an eyebrow.
8. The relationship, which is the subject of this contract, does not affect the other life, including the profession and work of either party.
The rule referred to what I had noticed earlier. That there were play relationships in which the Dominant determined everything. Whether the submissive was allowed to work, what happened to their money, how they had to dress. When they would work out, what they would eat… all these things that you would normally be able to decide freely were in these cases decided by another person.
I think this is a responsibility nobody should refuse. But that was just my personal feeling. Just because I couldn't imagine it didn't mean it might not be the right thing for another person. A kind of help. Or fulfillment. Who could know for sure?
9. The enclosed lists of taboos and practices are to be filled in and adhered to.
The mention of this made me look at the following papers, which were arranged in a table and contained innumerable terms. I would probably have to deal with them in a moment. But first I turned to the very last point of the contract.
10. If at any time the friendship between Kaden and Nikau is in danger of being damaged, this contract is also null and void. An immediate return to normal is a prerequisite.
I knew exactly why he had included this point. What had moved him to include our friendship in a contract about a BDSM play relationship. And here Kaden proved again that he was not left cold by what I wanted to say. He gave it a lot more thought than I would have expected from him or than I was used to from other men.
And even if I would respect all these rules, this would not be the contract I would sign in the end. I already knew.
So I turned the page– and found nine pages of a complex table. The first field was the interaction, followed by a column in which you could indicate how open you were to this kind of play. There also seemed to be space for additional comments, and the list was not limited to the submissive role, but also offered space for the Dominant to note their preferences.
Suddenly I remembered why I had always called it Kaden's weird sex stories. Because there were things on that list that I didn't even want to imagine.Nappies. Feces. Permanent scars. Plastic surgery.Toys that weren't really toys:Electric cattle prods, for example.
I knew the list was from the internet, and that much of it probably wouldn't work for Kaden either, but I couldn't help frowning and wondering how it had come about that people had discovered all these ideas for themselves. People out there liked it when their partner peed on them or engaged in incestuous role-playing. When you were treated like an animal, made to behave like one, or literally played with fire.
My first impulse was to go back to Kaden's apartment. I wanted to discuss with him, point by point, whether the practice was an option for me or an absolute hard limit. At the same time, I wanted to know what his preferences were, what he absolutely disliked, and how he felt about some things on the list.
Was this an attempt to shock me? Was it an attempt to make me realize once again what it was I was really in for? I swallowed and tried to remind myself that none of this was a commitment. This was just about exploring the possibilities. I could always find out later during the session if I really liked it. If it happened at all. Neither of us would do something we didn't really want to do.
Nevertheless, I went through the list, from A to Z.
Abrasion, Age Play, Anal Sex (giving and taking), Anal Plugs (small, large, in public), Animal Roles, Arm/Leg Sleeves (Armbinders), Aromas, Asphyxiation, Auctioned for charity, Ball stretching, Bathroom use control, Beastiality-Fantasy, Beating (soft and hard), Blindfolds, Being serviced (sexual), Being bitten, Boot worship, Bondage (light, heavy, all day, in public, e.g. under clothing), Branding, Breast/Chest Bondage, Breast whipping, Breath Control, Brown Showers (scat), Bruises, Cages (being enclosed), Caning, Castration fantasy, Catheterization, Cattle Prod (electricity), Cells/Closets (being enclosed), Chains, Champer-Pot use, Chastity belts, Chauffeuring, Choking, Chores (domestic help), Clothespins, Cock Rings/Straps, Cock worship, Collars (private, public), Competition (with other subs), Corsets (normal, for waist training), Cross-dressing, Cuffs (leather, metal), Cutting, Diapers (to put on, to use), Dilation, Dildoes, Double Penetration, Electricity, Enemas (to clean, as punishment), Enforced chastity, Erotic dance (with spectators), Examination (physical), Exercise (forced, as duty), Exhibitionism (with acquaintances, with strangers), Eye Contact Restrictions, Face Slapping, Fantasy Abandonment, Fantasy Breeding, Fantasy Rape, Fantasy Gang-Rape, Fantasy Necrophilia, Fear (being scared), Fire Play, Fisting (anal, vaginal), Following orders, Food Play, Foot worship, Forced bedwetting…
Three pages and my head was already spinning. If I had thought at the beginning that BDSM was a huge field with a myriad of practices, I would have been bursting at the seams. It was worse than I expected– and some of the things listed I couldn't even relate to. I felt lost. Even so, I forced myself to read on and on.
Forced dressing, Forced eating, Forced homosexuality, Forced heterosexuality, Forced masturbation, Forced nudity (private, public), Forced servitude, Forced smoking, Full head hoods, Gags (various options), Gas masks, Gates of Hell (m), Genital sex, Given away to another Dom (temporary, permanent), Golden showers, Gun Play-Fantasy, Hairbrush spankings, Hair pulling, Hand jobs (give, take), Harems (serving with other subs), Harnessing (leather, rope), Having food chosen for you, Having clothing chosen for you, Head (give, take), High heel wearing, High heel worship, Homage with tongue (non-sexual), Hoods, Hot oils (intimate), Hot waxing, Housework (performing), Human puppy dog, Humiliation (private, public), Hypnotism, Ice cubes, Immobilization, Incestual Roleplay-Fantasy, Infantilism, Initiation rites, Injections, Intricate (Japanese) Rope bondage, Interrogations, Kidnapping, Kneeling, Knife play, Leather clothing, Leather restraints, Lectures for misbehavior, Licking (non-sexual), Lingerie (wearing), Manacles & Irons, Manicures (give), Massage (give, take), Medical scenes, Modeling for erotic photos, Mouth bits, Mummification, Name change (for one scene, permanent), Nipple clamps, Nipple rings (piercings), Nipple play/torture, Nipple weights, Oral/anal play, Over-the-knee spanking, Orgasm denial, Orgasm control, Outdoor Scenes, Pain (soft, medium, hard), Persona training, Personality modification, Phone Sex (for the Dom, friends, commercial), Piercings (temporary, permanent), Plastic Surgery, Poison Tolerance-Fantasy, Prison Scenes, Prostitution (public)…
Now I was at my wit's end. But there were still three pages waiting for me to read. I had not yet made up my mind. I had no idea what had been written at the beginning. Once again, I had to force myself to the end of the list.
Prostitution-Fantasy, Pony slave, Public exposure, Punishment scene (private), Cock whipping, Pussy worship, Riding crops, Riding the "horse", Rituals, Religious scenes, Restrictive rules on behavior, Rubber/latex clothing, Rope body harness, Saran wrapping, Scarification, Scratching (give, take), Sensory deprivation, Serving (various options), Sexual deprivation (short term, long term), Shaving (body, private parts, head), Skinny-dipping, Sleep deprivation, Sleepsacks, Slutty clothing (private, public), Spandex clothing, Spanking, Speech restrictions (when, what), Speculums (anal), Spitting, Spreader bars, Standing in corner, Stocks, Straight jackets, Strap-on dildos (give, take), Strapping, Suspension, Supplying partners for Dom, Swallowing (feces, semen, urine), Swapping (with other couple), Swinging (multiple couples), Tampon training (anal), Tattooing, Teasing, TENS unit (electricity), Thumbcuffs (metal), Tickling, Triple penetration, Urethral sounds, Uniforms, Including others, Verbal Humiliation, Vibrator on genitals, Vampire Scenes, Violet wand (electricity), Voyeurism, Video (watching others, recording oneself), Water torture, Waxing (hair removal), Wax play, Wearing symbolic jewelry, Weight gain (compulsion), Weight loss (compulsion), Whipping, Wooden paddles, Wrestling.
The list ended, but my mind continued to spin. Some of these terms I'd never heard before, others frightened me without even knowing what they were, and some made me think of what Kaden had already done to me. And how I hadn't felt bad about it, but rather the opposite.
But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized how lost I was in this sea of concepts. So many possibilities, so many choices. Not all of them were designed for pleasure, and the overload increased as soon as I thought about which of them Kaden would like, and whether we might disagree so much about them that the project would fail before it began.
If I told him that I thought my sleep was necessary and that there was nothing attractive about being forced to stay awake by him, would he see it the same way? Or did he secretly enjoy depriving someone of sleep? Probably not even in a good way, but for some strange punitive purpose, the implications of which were still a mystery to me.
I felt a dull throbbing in my left temple. This was too much. I couldn't possibly become the mistress of this chaos that all these words were causing in me. What if I just told him to have a go at what he liked and then I would let him know if that was an option for me in the future?
As soon as the idea came to me, I knew instinctively that he would not go for it. I had to give him at least an approximate direction. Tell him what I couldn't even imagine, what points I wasn't averse to, and what I might like. Or had liked, if it counted among the things I had already experienced in the last few days.
