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“Probably. I should.”
He leaves me at the lodge, saying he has to do something. I don’t ask questions. I shower alone, which is kind of disappointing. If our time here together is running out, I’d rather spend it with him.
“What should I do?” I say out loud while I’m toweling my hair dry.
My reflection doesn’t answer. I’m a bit confused, considering he told me just a few days ago that he loved me. But I also remember the way he pulled back at first and wonder if history isn’t repeating itself.
I don’t want to make too big of a deal about it so soon, but I feel… cautious. Like there’s a little voice inside worried how much longer this can possibly last. Now that we’re both about to return to our regular lives, what happens next?
I suppose it’ll be obvious when his parents get here. What if he doesn’t even want to introduce me to them? Or if he does, but only as a fellow competitor? One of the guys.
What else would he say?‘Hey, this is Iara, we competed together and screwed each other’s brains out a few times along the way. It was great.’
“Ugh.”
I get dressed as slowly as possible, but he doesn’t turn up. I give up on him and head out to the large patio overlooking the lake. It’s where everyone gathers before dinner.
“Here.” A glass of something purple and bubbly is shoved into my hand. I clink glasses with the Kiphian who gave it to me. She looks confused at first. “Cheers,” I add as an explanation. She must have heard another human say it in the past, because her face relaxes and she nods.
The air feels electric. The previous nights were all about waiting. Now that the race is over, all the pent-up energy and excitement have been let loose. It’s like a dam has broken and there’s no pushing the water back upstream. It’s unstoppable.
People start gravitating towards the large open area that has been cleared of tables. I’m expecting speeches, maybe announcements of the winners, but instead some music begins to play. Everyone starts dancing.
I only hesitate a second before joining in. The deeper notes resonate in my ears and seem to make every cell in my body vibrate. That’s where I am when Rylan finds me.
“Dance with me.” I throw my arms around him. I won’t take no for an answer.
He needs to know how good this feels. It’s not the thrill of danger and the challenge of making the right choice. There is no wrong choice. It’s exhilarating, to move without thinking, without worrying.
He joins in. I can tell he isn’t fully into it. His body moves – I wouldn’t have expected him to be this carefree – but in his eyes I can see his seriousness.
I don’t care,I decide. Maybe reality is sinking in for him and he’s having second thoughts. But I’m not going to waste one second being sad about it, not while we’re still here together. There will be time, a lifetime probably for regrets later. I’m going to make the most of this last night.
We eat with several other competitors. Not Renxel. He pauses by our table with his plate but then moves on. I’m sure he’s too hungry to care who he eats with. I’m so happy we’ve had those three days to relax and rejuvenate. I’m not just healing, I feel like I’m being reborn.
Talk turns to what everyone has planned now. Most people have jobs to get back to. Families. One woman says, somewhat shyly, that she was hoping to start a family now. Then it’s my turn.
“I definitely have the adventure bug.” I avoid looking at Rylan. “But I haven’t planned anything yet.”
A Kiphian female points at Rylan.
“What about you?”
He mutters something about when you love your job it’s not a big deal to work.
After the main course, the dance floor opens back up. I grab his hand.
“I want to dance all night.”
“All night?”
Maybe not all night. But I’ll let him think that. Then, when I’m ready, I’ll take him back to the room and we can ‘dance’ together one last time. Suddenly, he picks me up.
“Whoo, spin me.”
He doesn’t. He carries me across the lawn to the lake, away from the party and the fun.
“What are you doing?”
