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“I know. We’re going to my room. I don’t trust those fools with you.”
I decide not to argue, knowing that it won’t get me anywhere. But I’m terrified, knowing that the last time we were in his room… things escalated.
Soon enough, we arrive, and I follow him inside. He gestures for me to sit on his bed, and I reluctantly obey.
“What now?”
He ignores me, pulling out a roll of bandages and coming to sit next to me. He grabs my arm, looking very focused as he grips the bandages in his other hand. But as soon as he takes in the blood on my wound, and the blood drying on my arm, his face changes.
His eyes gloss over, and his breathing becomes heavier. I shift nervously, breaking him out of this trance he seems to be under. He finally looks me in the eyes, and now it’s mine that are glossing over.
Being this close to him, I can’t handle it. It’s too much for me, and I’m already feeling lightheaded from the blood loss. I shouldn’t be here, in this room with him. But before I can get up, Lasta trains his focus back on my wound.
He presses a finger against it, causing more blood to flow out. He swallows hard, his breathing speeding up again.
“I-I can wrap it myself,” I whisper, my breath hitching.
“No.”
He begins to wrap it tighter than is necessary, but I don’t complain. I just want to get this over with and get out of here. This can’t go any further.
When he’s done, he sets the bandage roll aside and lifts his gaze back to mine.
“Does it hurt?” he asks.
“A little. But nothing I can’t handle.”
“You can’t keep hurting yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He lifts a clawed hand to touch my cheek, and out of instinct, I move back a little, dodging his touch. Lasta immediately drops his hand and his nostrils flare, eyes darkening to an even deeper shade of gold.
He jumps up and crosses the room in two long strides, flinging the door open and stalking out without another word. I’m shaking, realizing what I just did, realizing how it must have come across to him like rejection. In my heart, I know that this is not good.
I have just offended the captain of the royal guard.
Before I can crawl under the bed and die of humiliation, I scramble out of the room and return to the forge to continue my shift. When I pass by Lasta, neither of us acknowledges the other.
An hour later, I’m starting to think I’ve really fucked this up when the two of us finally make eye contact again. He gives me a small nod, and his mouth curves into what could almost be considered a smile. Maybe this isn’t as bad as I thought.
Regardless, I’m not sure when I started hoping for things to go well between us. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.
10
LASTA
“What now, sir? We’re awaiting your orders,” asks an annoying voice behind me.
“Just a moment,” I reply.
I’m hunched over a table. On it are various maps and intelligence documents. It looks as though I’m studying them, but I’m really just trying to get a hold of myself.
There has been much discourse on the reality of war and conflict spilling onto our soil soon, and with everything else going on in my personal life, my head has become a mess.
“Okay.” I sigh, finally turning around to face a group of four soldiers. “You two in the front, I need you both to bring these weapons to the castle's outer walls. You are to assume a patrol post at the front gate, and you will be stationed at the rear.”
The final soldier raises a curious eyebrow at me. The sight of it alone is enough to frustrate me. I’m not exactly in the mood to answer questions, let alone have my orders questioned.
