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Four.
It has been four days since my conversation with Lorelai.
Lasta and I go for a walk after dinner. He takes me to the royal library and selects some books for me to read.
“I want you to read these. It will help you understand more about the naga. It will help you learn about Lodra and the neighboring kingdoms.”
I find the painful knot in my chest untwisting as Lasta goes through some of the books with me and tells me more about his history and the history of his people.
I sit and listen in silence, and when he is finally quiet, he looks at me with narrow eyes.
“What are you thinking?” he asks me, his voice sharp.
“I’m just thinking that I am happy I don’t have to make any decisions any longer.” I tell him.
And I am genuinely grateful for this.
“You’re mine now.” His voice is sure and measured, and warmth washes over me. The library is dark, save for small fires that burn in torches that are attached to the walls.
“And you will do what I tell you. And everything will be easier for you because of that.”
“I know.” My voice is as calm as Lasta’s. And I have never been more sure, or more confident, about anything.
Giving up and letting go, and allowing Lasta to lead, has brought me peace that I wasn’t aware that I was capable of.
“What shall we do now?” I ask him, looking to him for direction.
“Now, you will go back to your room and read.” I feel slightly crestfallen at the thought that we will be parting so soon. “I need to work. All those letters in my office won’t write themselves.”
I nod before I reach for him. I stop myself before we touch, and I bow my head, waiting for him to admonish me for being so forward.
But he simply chuckles and takes me in his arms.
The kiss seems to last forever before he lets me go, and I walk slowly back to my room. I fall asleep soundly as soon as I get into bed.
I wake up to a knock on my door, and open it to find a harried looking servant holding a tray.
The tray groans underneath the weight of the food on it, and the servant walks in before I’ve had time to really wake up.
“Master Lasta told me to bring this to you. And I’m not allowed to leave until you eat all of it, so hurry up, because I have other chores.”
I eat quickly, and the servant vanishes as soon as the tray is empty.
“You need to take a lunch break.” Irian tells me. I arrived at the smithy slightly later than usual, but Irian did not say anything.
It is now just after noon, and I put my work down as a servant peaks in through the open door.
She is carrying a basket and hands it to me when I walk outside.
When I finish my work day, yet another servant meets me at the door to my room, to tell me that Lasta has instructions for me to meet him for dinner again.
Another dress is waiting for me in my room, and I dress hurriedly. I look down to inspect myself, and I am relieved to see that I haven’t hurt myself today.
Lasta’s words ring in my head.
“Only I’m allowed to hurt you.”
16
