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“I’m not trying to punish you at all. None of this is your fault. There’s nothing you or I are able to do against the current circumstances. I still care very much about you.”
“You do?” I ask, looking at him from the corner of my eye.
He nods. “I do. I wouldn’t be risking approaching you in broad daylight if it weren’t true.”
I suppose he has a point.
Although, soldiers aren’t typically allowed by this side of the gardens due to security reasons. But it doesn’t discard the possibility of other palace workers seeing us. Which is why he’s keeping a safe distance from me.
At least I’m finally able to see him. Something is better than nothing.
“I guess being friendly will do just fine,” I say, controlling my voice in order for it not to break.
“Good, I’m relieved to hear that.”
We stand there in stone silence, watching the children play. I often check that the other nanny isn’t coming. Now I wish she would take longer getting those snacks. Just so I can enjoy every second to spare with Lasta.
“They all look very much like Prince Zalith,” he comments.
I nod. “Their scales are the same colors as His Highness’s, but I think they’re going to have Princess Aurora’s eyes.”
“Is that so? All of them?”
“Well, they’re still too young for us to know. There’s also no telling if they’ll have more human features than naga.”
“Mm, interesting.”
Another pregnant pause. It wasn’t like this before. Just standing uncomfortably with neither of us talking. Of course, our time together was spent embracing each other.
“Do you… do you think human-naga mating will become fully accepted one day?” I ask, unable to help myself.
He thinks for a moment. “I can’t promise you anything. Having a human princess has shifted some beliefs, but as you know, not all naga are in favor.”
“Mm, you’re right. Something out of the norm would be difficult to accept so quickly,” I say, my heart sinking to my stomach. Then I sigh. “I really hate my human body. It’s been nothing but trouble. I wish I could've been born a naga.”
I hear Lasta growl, turning his entire body towards me.
“Don’t say that. I love you just the way you are.”
I nearly audibly gasp as those words hit my ears. Lasta’s as startled as I am by the way slant eyes widen. He quickly turns his head away. I don’t answer for a good few minutes, not believing what I just heard.
The silence feels heavier than before. Neither of us even moves. Even the sounds of the children playing sound so far away.
“I should get going,” Lasta mutters.
“Okay,” I say, just giving a simple nod without looking away.
He lingers for a moment before stalking off, leaving me frozen in place. I know when he’s out of sight by the way the children get closer to me. I breathe out, nearly gasping for air.
What do we do now? We can’t be together, right? What am I supposed to answer to that? Is it just an expression? He tells me we’re friends and then he tells me that he loves me. What is he doing?
Neither of us really know.
23
LASTA
Istill can’t believe I said that to her,I think for the hundredth time today.
