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I took a deep breath. Much of the stress from earlier was gone. It was just nice to sit there. “But you started out in Maine with a big family.”
“A really big one that is ever growing. I have so many nieces and nephews, I can’t keep track. I’m kidding. I sort of can. I mean, if I’m in the room with them, I can tell who is who. I know their names, but trying to remember who is pregnant when? It gets confusing.”
That was interesting. “I only have one nephew, and he is the best child that was ever born. He’s beautiful. Perfect. There has never been a more beautiful baby ever.”
He smiled slowly, stroking one broad fingertip across the rim of his cup thoughtfully before he said, “That is quite a proclamation. I’d bet you’re going to change your mind when you have your own kids. You’ll still love that boy, but nothing will ever compare to your baby.”
I laughed. “Not having kids. God help any child I could conceive. They’ll be so fucked up. From day one, they’d have a mother half out of her mind.”
“Are you under the impression that only people who have their shit together have kids? Because I have news for you—most people are totally screwed up. If it were a requirement to be totally fine all the time, no one would have kids. You’re the kind to have them. I can tell.”
I leaned forward. “What about me tells you that?”
“I just know.” He winked at me. “Consider me a soothsayer.”
“Ooh, wow, I’m with a person who can see the future. We should hire you out to the police. Or put you on television.The Predictive Chef. You can chop onions and tell people what’s going to happen in their lives at the same time.”
He pointed at me. “Hope, you are so much more fun than I thought you would be. Don’t drink alone, okay? I sat up last night thinking you’d passed out drunk in your bedroom and we’d find you dead this morning.”
I shook my head. “I almost never drink. And I don’t overdo when I do indulge.”
“Well, the point remains. It’s dangerous. I’ve seen too much shit.” He shook his head. “So why do you choose not to drink with others?”
I swallowed. Anxiety surged through me. “I know that it’s totally shitty that I’m going to say this, but I’d really like… I’d like to not talk about it in detail. I get that we’re sharing and I love it, but can I just say that I don’t like to be out of control?”
“I can get that too.” He took my hand across the table. “I can’t understand why I tell you things.”
“Well.” I smiled. “We’re friends who thought about having sex. It’s probably not odd that you tell me things. Besides, I’m a good listener, and I keep a secret like I’m a vault.”
He leaned forward. “I’m pretty good at keeping things private as well. Are you an alcoholic?”
That was certainly a leap. “What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen you drink, and now you confess you have this strange thing about only drinking alone. I’m trying to make sense of it. Secret drinking? I wondered. Or maybe you’re supposed to not be drinking and you only do it when you’re by yourself so no one knows, but we have this strange relationship so you told me anyway.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. I almost never drink. Also, I very rarely think about it when I’m not drinking.”
He sighed. “So not that, then.”
“Not that.” Maybe Icouldtell him. We had this odd relationship. He’d be the first person I spoke to about my problems who wasn’t a therapist, but maybe it was time to…
His phone rang, and he let go of my hand to pick it up and then quickly put it on his ear. “Anna?”
The waiter set down our breakfast, and I took a big bite of my pancakes. They were good. I didn’t give a shit why I was eating them. Food didn’t have to be psychoanalyzed. I was happy to do that for the rest of my life, but not right then.
I loved these pancakes.
“I’ll be right there.”
I turned my attention to Max. “What’s wrong?”
“Eric had a bad seizure. He’s at Brooklyn Veteran’s Hospital. He’s asking for me. I’ve got to go.” He looked around. “Where is the waitress? Do you mind paying? I’ll get you back.”
I shook my head. “I don’t mind paying.” In fact, I pulled cash out of my wallet and set it down on the table. Much more than this could possibly be. “And we’ll take my car. I’ll drop you there. It’ll be the fastest way to get you there.”
I’d always been good in a crisis that wasn’t my own. “Come on,” I urged him.
He nodded. “Thanks, Hope.”
