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“It’s nothing.” I texted Theo to make sure he was outside, which he was. I would’ve been shocked if he weren’t. They might have let me walk to the diner, but there was no way I was walking home since they’d found me. They took their jobs very seriously, and I couldn’t pretend to be surprised about it. One of their own had been nearly killed taking care of Layla.
We got in the car fast. “You didn’t eat anything. Let me go back in and get yours to go.”
“Not hungry.” He looked out the window as we pulled into traffic. “Amazing how quickly that can happen.”
I actually understood him perfectly. “Eric was with you when he was injured, right? The injury that did this to him.”
“He was. I was his XO. Sorry, that’s an executive officer. I was building quite the career for myself, actually. I was good at it, and so was he. Although he was also a lieutenant, he was under me that day. I had seniority. Anyway, yes, he got hurt. On me.”
“On you?” I hadn’t been there, but I recognized guilt when I saw it. “You got him injured?”
“No, but I didn’t protect him. It should have been me, not him. I can’t give you details. Most of it is classified.”
I nodded. That meant it was one of those secrets he wouldn’t be sharing. We had that kind of relationship, both of us keeping our truths to ourselves. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe all that counted was what came next. I had to find redemption, and perhaps he thought he had to as well.
“What do you think he is going to want to say to you?”
He closed his eyes for a long moment. “Every time he almost dies, he asks to see me and he tells me that it wasn’t my fault.”
“Then he must not think it is.”
Max’s eyes were dark, fathomless. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say until he spoke. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I know the truth.”
“You employ Anna. We’re going to raise money for him.” So help me, we were. I’d figure out how to make Muffy’s party a raging success. “I think you’re a good friend to him. How many times has he almost died?”
Max rubbed his eyes. “Too many.”
I went silent. Sometimes we needed silence. I sat back in the seat and watched him quietly as he looked out the window. Everything about him screamedleave me alone. To do anything else might get my head bit off. But then again, perhaps he was actually really needy in that moment and even he didn’t know it.
I touched the strong muscles of his back, running my fingers up and down. He needed me right then, whether he knew it or not. I would be there for him, because sometimes you just needed someone to be.
His body tensed before he nodded and then smiled at me. There was no joy in the act but thanks just the same.
“Really can never make you out, Hope.”
“I can’t make you out either, Max. I guess we’re both impossibly hard books to read.”
His smile broadened. “I don’t know. You seem to have me down pat.” He took my hand and brought it to his mouth. “Come in with me.”
“If that’s what you want.”
Right then, I’d give Max anything he wanted in the world. That should scare me, but it didn’t. And I wasn’t going to ask why, I was just going to roll around in it for a while.
9
Unless I was going to visit a new baby—something I had only done when Layla had Noah—I hated going to the hospital. But that was okay. This wasn’t about me. Max had asked me to come, I’d said I would, and so I wouldn’t make this about me by acting like I didn’t want to be there.
The good news was, by the time we arrived, Eric wasn’t in the ICU anymore. He’d stabilized and they’d put him on a regular floor. That seemed awful fast to me, but when I asked if that was normal, Max just sort of grunted, mumbled about healthcare and them knowing there was nothing they could do for him short of the surgery he needed, and not said another word. I’d kept quiet after that.
Eric’s room was quiet and sad. There weren’t flowers anywhere, and someone had pulled the shades closed so that it was particularly dark, save for a small lamp illuminating things and the light emanating from the constantly beeping monitors. No one could possibly be expected to get any sleep with the machines making so much noise.
He turned his head when we entered. The man must be very sick, but he didn’t look worn down. No, he was a big, strong manwith dark hair, dark eyes, and olive skin. Anna stood next to his bed, offering me a small smile when I gave her one.
“Hey, there.” Max’s voice was somehow even lower. “I heard you were doing this again, looking for all this attention, throwing yourself around.”
Eric’s face lit up at Max’s clear joke just as the man I’d arrived with sat down on the side of Eric’s bed. “Was hoping you’d show up. What was going on? Too busy to come see me?”
Max groaned. “Got here just as fast as I could, brother.”
