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Wincing, I wished I hadn’t asked. Bridget was insanely honest. What would I do if she said no? Hang up? Go cry in the corner? I couldn’t call Layla. She was busy being a mother, happy being in love. She’d be there for me, but phoning to say basically nothing would waste time she could spend with her family. She was so nice, she’d never admit it, and instead stress herself out trying to be there for me.
Bridget—maybe not so much.
“I do, actually.” She sighed. “I had the worst date tonight. The man was so…dumb…I’m not sure how he is standing upright on a daily basis.”
A giggle I didn’t expect moved through me. “Really? Why did you go out with him?”
“Because he’s really hot in that way that makes him seem like he’s badass. I have a problem with bad boys. I’ve had a crush on one my whole life, or it feels that way, and I keep looking for him in other men. Or at least that’s what my last therapist said.”
I hadn’t even known she’d been in therapy. “I went to one too, for a while.”
“Yeah…we’re all fucked up. Thanks, Mom and Dad.”
Oh, she had no idea. “I went out with a guy last night. He doesn’t really date. But we had great sex.”
It seemed foreign to speak those words. Had I really just said them? I bit down on my lip.
“Honestly, Hope, I wasn’t sure you even had sex. I thought you might be saving yourself or something. It was great sex? When was the last time I had great sex? I don’t even know if I’ve ever had great sex. Maybe I’m defunct. Why doesn’t he date?”
I blinked, trying to catch up to her conversation. “Why did you think I was saving myself?”
“I’ve never seen anyone as disinterested in dating as you seemed to be. I was wrong. Answer the other part. Why doesn’t he date?”
I didn’t know really. I had a vague sense of why Max wasn’t going to get serious, but that was about it. “He just doesn’t. Has a lot going on. He’s a chef.”
“Ooh, so he can feed you too.”
Yes, he was certainly doing that. “He’s really, really talented.”
“So what else are you up to? Planned any great parties?”
I sighed. Maybe this was why I’d called. Talking about Max was fine, but now that we were doing it, I wasn’t really sure what to say. Maybe that was because I didn’t know at all what was happening with him, which might turn out to be nothing at all. For me, it would always be special in the sense that being with him had broken through a wall I’d kept erected for years, but would it be more than that? Internally, I sighed. Probably not.
“I’m going to need a new line of work. I was declared fat and over, so it’s a mess. I’ll find something else.”
She was quiet. “But you love it. The event planning. Where the money goes after. And let’s face it, Hopey, you have always been the one of us to like the media attention. You like to be that person.”
It was hard to explain that while that was true, it was also not at the same time. When I was younger, it had been difficult to understand that there was plurality to life. Things could be…and also not be at the same time.
“Yes, I used to love to be in the spotlight. It felt like some kind of validation of, what? I didn’t know exactly. But it was clear to me I didn’t have Layla’s talent or your genius.”
“Hope,” Bridget said, trying to interrupt me, but I kept talking.
“So, being the one they followed made me feel great. Truth is, and we both know this, it’s Layla they’d also have preferred to be trailing, because she’s prettier than I am.”
This time, she sighed loudly. “That isn’t true. I’m not even sure how I’d judge which one of you would be so-called prettier.What does it matter? One person seems prettier to someone and then not to the other.”
I supposed that was true in some la-la land, but frankly, the fact that Bridget said it was surprising. Bridget only dealt in hard truths. “If you cared about such things, they’d prefer you to me too.”
“And so what if these so-calledtheydid? I’m sure if we took a poll of everytheyin the world, then we would see that…”
My phone beeped with an incoming call—Muffy. I didn’t hold back my groan. I’d called Bridget to get a healthy dose of the medicine only she could give to me. Instead, I had to take a call from my last client ever. What did she want? I had a bunch of her money in an account that I would return to her shortly. If she wanted it today, I’d make it happen.
“Bridget, I’ve got to go.”
“Yep.” Short and to the point, that was Bridget. “Just, real quick, you might not believe this, but there are men and women out there who wouldn’t find any of the three of us attractive at all. Somehow, I think the three of us will survive.”
She disconnected, which transferred me immediately to Muffy’s call. “Hi, this is Hope.”
