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I squeezed his knee. “Why is it upsetting you? That was great.”
Max slowly lifted his lids. “Because if I had known, I would’ve never suggested the back of the car for your first time. I might have…I don’t know…found a more appropriate place.”
I tilted my head. “I didn’t want you to know, and I wouldn’t change a thing about the car. Please don’t redo that in your mind so that you would. It would…I don’t know…steal something from the moment.”
He took my hand, bringing it to his mouth. “Fair enough. It was…really incredible.”
I closed my eyes, the medicine sucking me under. When I woke up, it was hours later. The seat divider between Max and me was gone. I was stretched out on him like his lap was my pillow as the rest of my body lay straight across the seats. How and when had this happened?
His eyes were closed, one hand in my hair, one on my good shoulder. It really didn’t matter. These drugs were going to get old quickly. Yes, I needed them to heal, but losing time was really pretty awful. I didn’t just fall asleep, but I did things when I was asleep I wouldn’t normally do. Sure, I was an insomniac, and it was great to be sleeping all the time. However, I would take being tired over the time gaps.
I had to pee. Hating to wake him, I really had no choice but to jostle him slightly when I got up because I was on his lap and he was touching me.
His eyes opened slowly. “You okay?”
“Got to pee.” My voice was rough. I must have been sleeping for hours.
He nodded and placed a hand on my lower back, helping me to sit up a little bit easier. He unbuckled himself, which was when it occurred to me that I hadn’t had mine on. That was pretty bad. What if we hit unexpected turbulence?
I forced my stiff, beaten up body to move and shuffled rather ungracefully to the bathroom, where we, of course, hit unexpected turbulence, which forced me to cling to the wall on my walk back. Max rose and came quickly over to me, grabbing my waist and helping me get back to our seats. He didn’t even seem bothered by the shakes. Was he somehow so superhuman, he wasn’t even bothered by the laws of gravity that took down every other being on the planet? I laughed at my own joke, and he shot me a look but didn’t comment.
After he’d buckled us both in, he put his arm around me. “We’ll be landing soon.”
“In Maine?” I just wanted to confirm I hadn’t been delirious through a change of plans that was now landing us someplace else.
He nodded. “In Portland. Then I’ll drive us to my place. Your security will meet us there. They’ll hang around the perimeter.And we’ll wait for Michael to get this handled.” A muscle ticked in Max’s jaw. I wasn’t sure why. “There is a doctor in Portland who understands the situation and will treat you with my sister, who is lined up on the other end ready to help with the PT. That is the plan.” He side-eyed me. “Do you not remember it? Or are you just checking?”
“Just checking. I am…losing time.”
Max winced. “Yeah, that sucks. We’ll see what the doctor says in a few days about when we can cut back your pain pills. I hated them too.”
“You and I are quite a pair. We’d both take pain and not sleeping over being out of control.”
He nodded. “We are quite a pair.”
And we were landing in Portland, so I could go into hiding for who knew how long. Truth was I was almost too drugged to really care, but even in my state, I knew I still would. This one was going to chafe.
I couldn’t really remember landing, but then we were in the car. It was waiting for us on the tarmac—thank you, Zeke—and we’d driven off toward his hometown. I shivered until it heated up inside. In New York, it had started to get cold, but here it already really was. I was in long sleeves, but I wished I had a jacket.
In fact, I didn’t have any clothes at all, just the sweatpants and shirt I was in. The clinic in Germany had given them to me.
“I don’t have clothes or toiletries. Or really anything.”
Max took my hand for a second before he put it back on the steering wheel. “You do. My sisters and mom have dropped off some things for you. If you need more, we’ll get other things. I think you’ll be okay.” He turned up the heat. “I won’t let you be cold. My house is warm. I promise.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I guess I never focused on the fact that you told me that you have a house in Maine. It just sits empty?”
“My brother James watches out for it for me. I bought it after Hayley’sclosed. Thought I might just go home and chop wood forever.”
I groaned. “Max…”
“Not your fault. I chopped wood for a week and then I got busy plotting my return, but I bought the house anyway. I like having it in my hometown. It makes me feel like I can come back and not be a visitor even if, having spent a good six months really living there, I know I never want to live there full-time. Not ever.” He winked at me. “So you see, it was a time of clarifying certainty for me.”
I sighed. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
We drove in silence most of the rest of the way, and I dozed on and off. Eventually, the pain came back. I wrenched my eyes open to check the clock. Was this one of those moments when I was due for more meds, or was it one of those meds not strong enough to hold out over the time between doses? It was the first, and before I could even ask, Max opened the container and handed one to me. He pointed to an open water bottle sitting between us.
