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I ended up back in his bed, watching television again. I wasn’t sure that was going to happen again, but when we’d gotten home, he’d told me to get ready for bed and meet him in there. It was much earlier than the night before, and we were both pretty engrossed with a movie that followed a familydealing with the death of the patriarch and the secrets he took with him.
Zeke reached over and ran his hand through my hair. It was gentle, and I swallowed away the nervous energy the contact elicited. I had so little experience with seducing men. My previous partners had all sort of just happened without me having to give it very much thought. How would that glamorous woman named Isobel, who didn’t have to take selfies to have value to the world, handle this?
I really couldn’t fathom it. I was young and never more aware of it than right then. Sometimes, I felt so old I could be a hundred years old, but when it came to seducing this man, I was completely without any experience to draw on.
Okay. I had to do something, or I had to give this up.
I put my head on his shoulder. If he kicked me off, I’d have my answer about his not wanting me. Bracing myself, I waited for something to happen. He shifted slightly and then leaned his own head on top of mine.
I let out a breath I’d held. Okay. So far so good. Maybe I…
“Layla.” His voice was low. “You get that I don’t do serious, right?”
I had to play this cool. Much cooler than I actually was. “You’ve only told me half a dozen times. I haven’t lost my memory that I know of.”
He laughed, a low sound. “Fair enough. I’m going to kiss you unless you tell me not to. And I don’t want any nonsense about my doing it for publicity.”
My heart was officially racing. “That wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility.”
He ignored me. “I want to have sex with you, if that’s what you want, but I’ll continue to have to jerk off in the shower thinking about you if you tell me that you can’t handle going back to normal tomorrow like nothing happened.
Because that’s all I can offer. That’s who I am. Sex is sex. It’s a physical relief for both of us.”
He might think he could read me really well, but I was doing a great job of not acting as excited as I was actually feeling. I had to be cool. I had to be that woman Isobel. Above it all. Certainly, I could do it. I’d pretended things before. I wouldn’t blow this now.
“Don’t I get four days? Isn’t that your running timeline for these things?”
He kissed the top of my head. “I think we can safely say that I’m going to want four days with you, but tomorrow morning, we get up like nothing happened and we get back to regular life. Is that something you can handle?”
I lifted my head off of him and got up on my knees. “Do you think you might be overestimating how overwhelmed I will be by being with you?”
He took my cheeks in his hands. “Layla, I’m dead serious. I can’t have you living here in a pout, and our current situation means that you’re living here. We have a deal to finish. And I can’t think of anything worse than you getting…needy.”
“Nothing worse? Like the death of children from cancer? Or how many people starve to death every year in developed countries who should be able to feed all of their population? Or…”
He narrowed his gaze. “Layla…”
I kissed him, gently on the lips and then the chin, and then both of his cheeks. “I promise not to give a shit tomorrow morning that we had sex tonight. I have never cared about,” I chose my word on purpose, “fucking one way or another. Half the time, I don’t even come, and when I do, it’s much more my own doing than his. So, if you could shut up and progress forward, that would be great. Otherwise, I can go in the other room and see if I packed my vibrator.”
Although I’d said that more forcefully than I might usually, I hadn’t lied about any of it. All of that was the absolute truth.
He flipped me over onto my back so fast it stole my breath. Over me, his eyes swore dominance. I didn’t know how I knew that, maybe it was instinctual. Maybe it was something I just knew, because I’d suddenly become the prey to his predator. A natural understanding in case I wanted to flee.
I absolutely didn’t.
“I can make you a promise.” He held up a finger between us. “You are going to come tonight, and it isn’t going to be with your vibrator or with your own fingers. It will be because
I gave it to you. More than once.”
I couldn’t do anything but nod. “Sounds…good.”
“Just good.” He kissed my chin. “You want this?”
“I do.” I almost told him how long I’d been dreaming of it. I almost told him that I’d basically had my first sexual awakening thanks to him. But that would have broken the spell of the game I was playing with myself. If I said that aloud, then he’d know that I was totally full of shit, that I didn’t have a sophisticated bone in my body, and that I was absolutely not set up to be completely nonchalant tomorrow when it came down to it.
Somehow, I would…although already, I knew it was going to be a problem.
“Good.”
