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I smiled at her. “Living her life someplace where no one gets to see her without permission.”
She didn’t like my answer and frowned as she left us alone. I’d have to make sure I tipped her well so Bitchy Hope didn’t become my next nickname.
“I see what you mean about protecting your sister. Mine would have done the exact same thing.” He handed me a fork.
We ate in silence, and eventually, I laid down my fork, much fuller than I’d expected to be at dinner. “Well, this is better than the cereal I’d probably have poured myself or some meal I’d microwaved.”
“This is New York. You can get the best food in the world delivered any time, day or night. I think you should be able to do better than those two options.”
He was right. “That’s true, except I tend to shut off the world once I close the door to my apartment. I can’t bring myself to order food and have to open it back up.”
Why did I say the things I said to him? That wasn’t something I readily confessed.
“I get wanting your sacred space to stay sacred.” He shook his head. “I thought I might be able to make you out after tonight. I thought I could get a handle on you. Ever since I met you, I’ve found you aren’t at all who I thought you were for years.”
I took a last drink of my water, finishing it. “And? What have you decided?”
“I’m not sure of you at all, Hope. Every time I think I’ve got you handled, you surprise me. And I have no business wanting to be around you, but I do. I was just thinking I’d like to do this again. That I could eat with you all over Manhattan. That it would be fun figuring out what you like to eat.”
I forced myself to stay calm or to at least to look like I was. “I’m always up for a good meal. I’d like to know you too. Maybe you’ll see I’m only a quarter the monster that you think I am.”
“Sure, you’re totally monstrous. You and those brown eyes that show nothing about what you’re really thinking except when you’re really mad. I can’t tell too much else about you yet.”
I winked at him. “I’m not the only one at this table who is hard to read.”
“Years of learning it in the military. Before then? You’d have thought I was an open book.” He rose and held out his hand, which I took because I liked that he’d offered it. “I’ll walk you home.”
That was sweet but unnecessary. “I have my car. My driver will get me home fine.”
“Ah, yes, those special forces guys that you have trailing around watching you.”
I liked how his hand felt in mine, how his was so much bigger than my own. “How did you know that? What they were?”
“It takes one to know one. We can always spot each other. They’ve made me too, that I guarantee. Well then, I’ll walk you to the car.”
When he squeezed our linked fingers, I almost became a pool of mush on the floor. “Which branch did you serve?”
He side-eyed me. Maybe I’d said it wrong. “I was in the army.”
I could imagine him in uniform, and it was a damned sexy thought. Those broad shoulders and big muscles. He must have been sexy as hell in uniform. “Where were you guys when you took the fire that hurt Eric?”
He shook his head. “Maybe another night, but maybe not ever.”
With a look he shot Theo, Max opened the car door for me. Right before I would have gotten in, he stopped me. “I don’t do relationships. I’m bad at them. Whatever is happening between us, we can be friends, right? However it turns out, that’s enough?”
I squeezed his fingers one more time. “Do you always hold hands with your friends?”
He tilted his head just slightly. “Depends if the friend in question looks like you in that dress, but point made.”
I didn’t let go when he would have pulled his hand away. “Look, I’m in no condition for a relationship. To put it bluntly, I am not really in a good head space for one. So yes, I’d like to be friends, whatever that looks like. I won’t pretend I’m not attracted to you. That would be lying. But I have no idea what to do with that.”
This time when he took his hand back, I didn’t try to stop him. He ran his fingers through his dark locks before he gave me a full-on grin. “I guess we figure it out. Maybe we end up in bedtogether, maybe we don’t. As long as we both understand there is no such thing as romance in our lives.”
I nodded. “Don’t worry, Max. I don’t believe in Prince Charming, and I think you know better than most that I’m not Cinderella. We can both be grownups if that is what we both end up wanting.”
He stepped back. “I think we both want it.”
I got into the car and left him there on the street, glad when Theo drove away. I had to breathe. Had to think.What is happening here?
