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His smile had been cruel and twisted. It made my stomach tie in a knot just thinking about it.
“No, not yet. I think he’s been avoiding me,” I replied, twisting in my seat to face her. “Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe he’ll just disappear, and I won’t have to force him to listen to me when I tell him this is over.”
“I really don’t get why you can’t just tell him it’s over and be done with it. How long have you guys been together now? Like, three years, four?” Jessica rested her elbow on the table as she turned to face me, exhaling deeply. “What’s the big deal, Whit? Why can’t you just end it?”
“It’s not like I don’t want to,” I argued. “Trust me, I do. But I didn’t really have a choice about staying with him or not. Once we started dating and our families approved... That was it. Things were sealed. We’d get engaged after my senior year and then... Then I’d be Mrs. Brockford. Period.”
Jessica didn’t come from a family like mine. She’d gotten into Gatlington on merit alone, which was damn near impossible. And trust me, I knew how crazy this entire situation looked, being unable to break up with a man I was no longer in love with because our families wanted us to get married.
“It’s a business deal. It has nothing to do with love. If I break things off, my parents will stop paying for school. That was the deal I made when I told them I was going back to Gatlington for my masters degree.”
“Don’t you have money of your own?”
I sighed, sinking into my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. “I do, actually. My grandfather left me a small trust fund when he passed away. It would be enough to cover the first year of my doctorate, but that’s it. I wanted to save it to be able to travel for my research.”
“So... it’s between marrying Christian or dipping into your trust fund?” Jessica rolled her eyes at me. “I know you’re smarter than this!”
“It’s deeper than that, Jess. Look, I love my parents. I do. And they’re already so disappointed in me for turning him down this summer. They just don’t understand that I don’t care about the kind of money I could have day or that I want more than just being a millionaire’s housewife. That’s the kind of life they’re used to. That’s all they know, and that’s all they want for me. So, if I go a different route in life... I essentially give up my parents.” It was the cold truth of the matter.
“That’s dark,” Jessica said. She blew out her breath and shook her head, her red curls falling over her forehead. “I’ve decided to change my thesis.”
“Oh?” I laughed, thankful for the shift in conversation.
“Yeah, to the marriage habits of the American elite.”
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. Jessica nudged me with her elbow, her eyes soft and kind in the warm, slightly dim lighting above us. “You are the smartest, hardest working person I know. I’ll riot if you cave and marry that dickhead just to appease your parents.”
“I know.”
She looked past me toward the staircase. “Oh, look who’s here.”
I turned to follow her gaze and saw Professor Ellis walking in our direction. He wasn’t looking at us, his head bent as he thumbed through a large leatherbound book. I quickly looked away and started to gather my books. “Are you sticking around to study?” I asked Jessica. She shook her head.
Gathering up her own books and stuffing them into her backpack, she said, “No, not tonight. I’ve been at it all day. Oh, guess what?”
“What?”
“The graduate dorms have an apartment available across campus.” Her eyes glimmered as she waited for my reaction.
Honestly, I hadn’t even considered moving out of the sorority house. I’d lived there for four years. But with everything going on and my lack of enthusiasm for the party scene, maybe moving was something I should consider.
“We could be neighbors,” she continued, hiking her bag over her shoulder. “Think about it, okay?”
“Sure, I’ll think about it.” I smiled at her as she waved goodbye and walked away, skipping down the winding steps until she was out of sight.
I glanced around but no longer saw my professor.
I hiked my bag over my shoulder and walked toward the stacks. I wanted to grab some new books to study over the weekend, and the fourth floor had the best selection for the subjects I had in mind. The stacks were a maze of bookshelves, and soon I found myself so deep that I could no longer see the balcony view of the floors below.
I stopped short when I turned a corner and found Professor Ellis pulling a book from one of the shelves. He saw me too and straightened up.
“Hi,” I breathed, my heart going zero to sixty in a single second. In the shadows, his chiseled face looked more intense than usual. A scruffy, three-day-old beard lined his jaw and cheeks, and his hair was damp and ruffled. He was wearing athletic clothes and didn’t have his glasses on. He looked like a dream, and my body reacted accordingly.
“Hey,” he replied softly.
I walked up to him, and he stepped aside as I reached into the shelf and pulled out the art history book I’d been searching for. Looking up at him, I noticed a slight smile touch his lips.
“What?” I said with a little laugh, keeping my voice a whisper.
