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And I would put distance between us because I was the big idiot who’d asked him to kiss me last night.
I groaned and rolled over in bed, tucking my knees to my chest and covering my head with my pillow at the memory. Heavy rain pattered against the window, signaling another gray, dreary day. It matched my mood, so I felt fine with it, but had no plans to move from my bed for at least the next several hours.
I thought about the party we’d gone to. The nameless faces I’d played cards with were fuzzy and distorted, but the feeling of sitting next to Rhys was so clear I could still feel his thigh brushing against mine and his arm resting over the back of my chair.
It had felt... normal, and right. Like we’d known each other each other for years. Like last night had been a common occurrence.
There was nothing normal about it. Nothing about the feeling in my chest at the thought of him was something I’d ever experienced before. There was a magnetic pull between us, and I couldn’t deny it.
But I’d have to.
M phone rang, the sound piercing the stillness of the room and causing a stabbing pain in my left temple as I fumbled for it on my bedside table.
“Hello?”
Jessica’s soft laugh echoed through the line. “You sound like you had a great night.”
“I did,” I admitted, unable to find the words I needed to lie.
“Well, when you scrape yourself off the floor, meet me in the library. We’re having study group tonight, remember?”
“I’ll be there,” I grumbled, then hung up the call, my phone clattering to the floor. Rubbing my eyes, I forced myself to get up and take a shower. The hot water washed away the lingering effects of too much wine and a lifetime of embarrassment.
How could I possibly look Professor Ellis in the eyes ever again? Maybe this was a good thing. After all, we shouldn’t have been out together last night. We shouldn’t have been drinking wine together in a dusty bookshop with the friends of a zealous bookseller who was, quite possibly, the ringleader of an illegal artifact ring.
By the time I made it down to the dining room at the sorority house, the place was alive with conversation and activity. Small groups were studying, and several groups were simply sitting around with coffee in their hands, discussing the upcoming events for the weekend.
Nicole bounded up to me as I filled my mug full of coffee, stirring in a good bit of sugar and cream.
“Woah, what were you up to last night?” She followed me to one of the tables and sat beside me, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. “Did you go out? I didn’t see you at any of the parties in the dorms.”
“I went to the gallery opening in town,” I yawned, closing my hands around my coffee mug. “I got in late, drank too much wine.”
“Wine hangovers are the worst,” Nicole said, coiling a lock of blond hair around her forefinger. “What are you doing today? Some of us are going to the lacrosse game this afternoon and then a party at Christian’s house later.” Her large eyes blinked at me in anticipation of my answer. “You’re going to the party at least, right?”
“Oh, sure,” I said quickly, taking a sip of scalding hot coffee and setting the mug down. My head swam with fading memories of the night before. The idea of going out again tonight—to a frat party no less—had me wanting to curl back up in bed and sleep until Monday.
Nicole’s wide smile held but didn’t reach her eyes. “Great. The game?”
“Uh, no, probably not. I have study group today.”
Nicole leaned back in her chair and rolled her eyes. I ignored her sudden attitude and finished my coffee without another word.
I gathered up my bookbag and dropped my mug in the sink before making my way out of the house. For the first time since my freshman year, I felt like an outsider. I had no real ties to the active members of the sorority anymore. I just lived in the house out of ease and familiarity. All of my friends from my pledge class had graduated with their undergraduate degrees and moved on.
Nicole was my only real tether to what felt like a lifetime lost in the past, and even she had been pulling away, increasingly disappointed by my inability to lean back into the party scene.
I reached the library a little past noon. The throbbing headache that had plagued me all morning lessened as I jogged up the staircase to our usual third floor table and set my bag down beside her.
“Hey,” she whispered, looking up from her laptop.
“Hey,” I replied, giving her a smile. “What’s on the docket today?”
“The unifying characteristics of language,” she yawned, tapping her open textbook.
I glanced down at the chapter she had opened and shook my head. “I read that chapter and reviewed Professor Ellis’s lecture notes on that last week.”
Jessica gave me a look and dramatically closed the book, leaning back in her chair and stretching her arms over her head. “I don’t have it in me to do this today. I don’t think anyone is coming to study group today, either.”
