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“I wanted him more than anything.”
“Oh, Whitney,” she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion. “You should have told me from the beginning.”
“Why? Nothing would have changed.”
“I would have been in your corner at least. I saw the way he looked at you and the way you smiled at him, Whitney. When I first met you, you were a stone-cold bitch, you know that? I was terrified of you during our undergrad until I got to know you. And guess what, Whitney?” She forced me to look at her, shaking me a little. “You always went after what you wanted and made it work. You bent this university to your will multiple times. You were president of your sorority. You were valedictorian of our graduating class. You had other colleges begging to have you in their graduate programs. This isn’t going to break you. Christian isn’t going get his filthy, disgusting hands on you. And you and Professor Ellis?” She leaned her forehead against mine. “Do you love him, Whitney?”
“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this much,” I whispered, ashamed.
“It is when you’re in the kind of situation you’ve found yourself in.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“I think you should tell him, Whitney.”
IT TOOK A FEW HOURS to peel myself off the couch. Jessica went to take her last final, and we promised to meet up tonight to pack. We’d leave for Jersey tomorrow morning. One of her brothers would pick us up, and I could put all of this behind me.
But I had one thing left to do.
I walked through Hollis Hall, turning and drawing in my shoulders to pass the groups of excited, exhausted students leaving their final exams. The air in the building was thick with a fix of excitement and dread—excitement to be going home, or wherever they were headed next, and the dread of waiting for final grades.
I felt a unique kind of dread as I opened the door to Rhys’s lecture room and found it empty and dark.
I exhaled, closing the door and deciding to try his office next, but after knocking and opening the door, I found his office empty and his desk clear. He’d packed up. He wasn’t here.
I felt the heavy weight of regret settle in my stomach. I was too late. I should have told him how I felt before, when we were in Sleepy Hollow, or even that day in the alcove.
He’d probably caught a flight back to Britian already or was on his way to the airport. Calling or texting him didn’t feel right, and I was sure I couldn’t handle the rejection in the event he didn’t pick up.
I closed his office door and walked through the building as if in slow motion. Outside, snow fell thickly over the courtyard, which was bustling with students. Groups had gathered to say goodbye or make plans for the night. I ignored everyone and walked briskly toward the bike trail leading back to my dorm.
“She looks rough,” a male voice snickered as I passed a group huddled near one of the benches.
“What a fall from grace,” someone else said, and the snickering laughter got louder. I turned, my cheeks burning with sudden fury as I faced the group, but then I felt myself pale as my eyes landed on Christian, who was standing in the group.
Nicole peeked out from behind his shoulder and spotted me before abruptly looking away. Christian, noticing that I’d seen her, smirked and roughly roped an arm around her slim shoulder and pulled her against him. She squeaked in surprise. “What’s up, Whitney?”
I didn’t answer. The look in his eyes told me enough. He narrowed his eyes and grinned devilishly, a look that might bring the average girl to her knees, but I knew what lurked behind his handsome exterior.
I turned from the group and walked away, but their voices carried on.
“I heard she was a total teacher’s pet this semester.”
A low murmur passed through the group as their voices began to fade.
“I bet she was the one who bagged Professor Ellis. I heard someone did.”
“What a slut.”
I hung my head and hurried on, feeling like I was on the verge of vomiting. I passed the little gate leading into faculty housing and stopped, staring into the distant tree line where his cottage rose in the dark, the windows shadowed by the sycamore trees. None of the lights were on.
Tears welled in my eyes, but I quickly brushed them away, refusing to cry.
By the time I made it back to my apartment, it was getting late, and I needed to pack.
I pulled my suitcases out of the closest and threw everything I thought I’d need into them, barely paying attention to what I was grabbing. An hour passed, and Jessica knocked on my door.
“Want to grab some drinks with our study group tonight?” she asked as I zipped up my suitcases.
