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“Now, please explain what I did wrong,” Bruce said as he closed the door behind him.
“It's not that you did anything wrong per se…”
“I think I could already get the message earlier,” he cut me off. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“While you're an assistant to help me with my job,” I started to answer. “I'm not comfortable with you going on your own and telling people what to do.”
“Are you saying you don't trust my judgment?” he asked, his tone taking offense to my previous statement.
“Maybe that's what I'm saying,” I replied. “You or a new staff. I talked to most of them, and I realize that you gave permission to do things without consulting me first. That's a textbook case of insubordination.”
“Before you get your panties in a twist, the only instructions I issued were things I felt you didn't have to bother yourself about,” he explained.
“And what makes you say that?” I asked.
“What? You want every patient to come and meet you for headaches, cough, or phlegm?” he retorted. “Most of these things can be handled by nurses. Using my judgment and noticing that you have yourself stretched thin for no reason, I decided to source the patients among the staff.”
“But I thought you were handling them yourself?”
“You have four medical centers and still feel like the head doctors should handle things on their own,” he asserted, shaking his head in disbelief. “Or you're just threatened that I'm handling your job better than you?”
“You have no idea what it takes to handle things like me,” I shot back.
“Oh really? Enlighten me.” He crossed his arms again, waiting for my answer. “Because I assumed I would work with you. Yet, I don't recall you calling me to your side and showing me exactly how you want things done. I'm supposed to magically understand that.”
He wasn't wrong. I hung my head in shame as he pointed out the fault with me.
“If you want me to do something, let me know. While most of your workers look up to you, they have doubts about your confidence in them,” he continued. “To be honest, I don't even know why I'm here. True, Alex is retiring, but isn't bringing me here basically saying you're older staff don't know what to do?”
“If I'm going to take over, or in this case assist you, you have to let me be by your side and show me what to do,” he concluded.
Everything he said was the truth. I was letting my insecurities get the better of me. But still, I couldn't help but feel something was wrong. Nevertheless, he had stepped into the role he was hired to do. All I needed to do was trust him.
It was also a perfect time to finally do something I had been holding back on doing.
“I'm sorry for my shortcomings as a leader,” I apologized. “I should be thanking you for helping me find time for myself.”
“That's what you pay me for,” he insisted.
“I also want to apologize for that morning,” I continued. “I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. No matter the reason.”
“I'm sorry too,” he apologized. “I should have left immediately.”
“It was good having you stay by my side, though,” I added. “Thank you for a wonderful night as well.”
“You're welcome. On a side note, I think I'm into the dominatrix thing,” he said as he turned to leave.
I still couldn't shake the bad feeling.
Bruce
The cross I had forced myself to carry was becoming too heavy to bear. My plan to get the staff on my side and eventually creep into higher management's hearts was much easier than I had thought. It was because of the doubts they had about Tabitha.
As I remained in her hospital, I decided to learn as much as possible, considering the hospital's success.
“And I ended up giving a lot of advice,” I sighed.
