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“But you’ll be there, won’t you? You’re always there. So if he tries, you can stop him. We can work together to put an end to him. He must be stopped before he kills more innocent women.”
My pulse throbs in my ears.
He must die.
My breathing grows faster. My lungs tighten.
Their faces… Those men.
My hand balls tightly as I try to concentrate on A’s voice.
“Absolutely never gonna happen. Do you hear me?! I’ll be the one taking all the risk, not you!” The words leave him in a gritting tone while I try to calm the panic, unable to withstand the weight of the world crashing around me.
My chest is heavy; I’m drowning in it until I’m clawing at it, the phone almost slipping.
“You’re not to look for him or do anything stupid,” he continues, oblivious to my turmoil. “You can play with the other men. And I’ll watch. I like to watch you. But not him. Do I make myself clear?”
My exhales grow shallower.
“Kayla? Are you there?”
“Mm-hmm.” I try to act like I’m fine, but fail.
“You don’t sound okay. Do you need me?”
Yes. Tears prickle my eyes.I need you to hold me.
“No.” I clear my throat and swipe harshly under my eyes. “I’m fine. I can handle myself, okay?”
“This is nonnegotiable, Kayla. I’m not above sending Chris a note about your extracurricular activities. And if he tells Michael, you’re done. You realize that, right?”
Anger radiates through me, my limbs tingling in its wake. “Why the hell do you care what happens to me? You haven’t called in days! So stop pretending like you give a shit, whoever the fuck you are. I endured hell for nine years. I can endure anything after that!”
Thick silence greets me. Until I glance down at the phone to make sure he’s still there.
“I know you have. But I?—”
“What, huh?! You care about me now? Can’t live without me because I mean so much to you?” I let out a sardonic laugh. “We don’t even know each other! We’re both just messed up. That’s all we have in common.”
Another laugh bubbles out of me, yet my heart? It breaks, because every word I said was a lie.
I’m just letting my anger win. The rational side of me knows that, but this other side, this girl trapped inside me, she wants to push him away. She wants to be alone. To hurt. To suffer. To bleed in silence.
“You know more about me than anyone in my life ever has, Kayla Jenkins,” he whispers. “And I think I know you pretty well too. Does that scare you?”
He pauses, making my pulse quiver.
“Because it scares the fuck out of me.”
All the air’s trapped in my lungs. I want to say so much, yet nothing comes out. Something in me feels like I know him, or maybe it’s because I want to desperately. Want to see his face.
“You willnotgo after him.” His voice grows lower, huskier. “You will obey me. Because you don’t want to know what happens when you don’t.”
I scoff. “Is that a threat? You gonna hurt me?”
“I’d never hurt you, baby bird. I want you safe. That’s what this is about.”
My throat aches from the sincerity in his words. He somehow does care, even if he won’t actually say it out loud.
