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It stayed somewhere between my butt and lower back, poking like it was meant to poke there. It took me a couple of blinks to clear out my hazy mind before comprehension dawned and I froze. Matthew’s cock was hard, and I could even feel it pulsing slightly against me. It could be from morning wood or a dream for all I knew, but just the fact that it was hard against me was enough to elicit a reaction.
My body hummed with electricity. My skin tingled as arousal seeped into me and made my nipples hard. I bit back a moan when I realized his hand was close to it, just resting under my breast and cupping my skin as if he had every right. It didn’t escape me that the intimacy felt natural and good, and that all I needed was to wriggle a bit to get it going. I could arch my hips at the right angle until he was grinding back, and then we could forget about inhibitions and touch each other in the dark.
A few shared kisses and I could be on top of him. Riding him. I was so wet from the fantasy, I had to slap a hand over my mouth to stifle the next sound.
But I didn’t want to cross boundaries. I didn’t want to take what Matthew didn’t offer, not when he gave no indication that he wanted to change things between us. He’d always been kind and reliable. He’d been so good to me.
And I didn’t have the heart to take advantage of it.
I struggled with a sigh, my body wanting to feel him closer. Then I snuck out of bed as quietly as I could, careful not to wake him up. An ache to stay some more and just watch him in slumber clenched in my belly, but I brushed it off and tiptoed my way out before I changed my mind.
Outside, I breathed a sigh of relief. But it didn’t last long when I turned a corner and bumped into another figure. I yelped, then was steadied when hands reached out to keep me from falling. Rupert’s gray eyes were not as stormy as they had been in the forest, so I offered him a tentative smile.
“Wow. I finally caught you in your apartment.”
“That you did.”
He didn’t say anything anymore, but something seemed to bother him. I wanted to ask but knew I would be shut down, so I stepped back instead.
“Well, goodnight, then.”
“Don’t break his heart.”
That stopped me in my tracks. “What?”
“Don’t pretend he’s not in his bedroom, either,” he continued, glancing at Matthew’s bedroom, then at me. “We both know he’s in there sleeping. All I’m saying is that Matthew’s a good man and you shouldn’t break his heart.”
It clicked, and his reaction made so much sense now. Had Rupert always thought I would end up sleeping with Matthew? Nothing happened, but I could tell he had already formed his opinion, and that part of it was me hurting Matthew. That hurt.
“I know he’s a good man. Believe me, I know it.”
“Then don’t hurt him.”
“Why would you automatically assume I’d hurt him?”
“It’s not an assumption. It’s a warning. What happened today got to him since he’s our leader, and—”
“And I’m taking advantage of him.”
That gave him pause. “I didn’t say that,” he protested.
“Then why is it a big deal?” An idea sparked. “Is it because you’re jealous?”
Rupert shook his head. “No. It’s because I care about him.”
“Why?” I goaded. If he didn’t want to let it go, then I wasn’t going to, either. “Why do you care about him? In fact, why are you so overprotective of him, like he can't handle himself?”
“That's not it. I know he can handle himself. I'm just… Look, you don't understand.”
Frustration simmered in his features. I knew it would be easier to end the conversation and walk away, but we were in too deep now and I couldn’t just stand by not knowing. So, I stepped closer again. I took his elbow and ignored the sparks ignited by that single touch, willing him to look at me fully.
“Then help me understand, Rupert. Please.”
He looked at my hand, then at me. He struggled with words, but I waited until he overcame it.
“I was in a bad place. A really bad place when I was a teenager, stupid enough to do bad things and trust the worst people. That stupidity almost landed me in prison, but I met Matthew and he saw something in me that others didn't. He pulled me out of that bad place in my life and forced me to do better. And he didn't give up on me even when I kept rebelling in the beginning.” His mouth thinned. Hate poured out, and I realized it was hatred of his past self. “He could have, but that's just not the kind of guy he is. If he’d given up when I kept rebelling, there’s no telling where I would be right now. Actually, no. There’s no question where I would be right now. I’d be back to doing the worst things and land right in prison in no time. He redeemed me.”
“No.”
