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It was the first time all night we were in sync.

Then she leaned across the table, her torso forward enough so I could see the tops of her boobs. I tried not to stare, but I was pretty sure she wanted me to. Even so, I forced my eyes up from the white silky mounds to her face.

“Lean closer,” she whispered, and I did. She bent forward, and I could see more of them. I thought I even saw the top of one of her nipples. I thought I might die right there, looking at Tabitha Mclean’s boobs, right after eating fajitas and queso at Chuy’s Tex-Mex restaurant. Was there a better way to die?

“You’re actually almost hot enough to be like a male model in L.A. Has anyone ever told you that, Jake?” She was still whispering, but now her boobs were half lying on the table where she had pushed her plate away.

“Nope, nope…funny enough, that hasn’t been suggested by any of the guidance counselors,” I spat out.

She sat up, sort of fixing her boobs the way a guy fixes his package in his pants. It was so hot.

“You want to get out of here and go back to my house? My dad’s out of town and my mom is probably passed out by now.” She raised her eyebrows as if I needed a non-verbal cue to get her meaning. I got the message loud and clear.

“Sure, sure,” I said, reaching for my wallet. “Just a minute—I’ll pay, and we can go…”

She stood, put her hand on my shoulder, and leaned over toward my face. “I’ll be back… girl’s room.”

“Yep, okay,” I said. I paid the bill and waited for her by the door. My heart seemed to be expanding against my chest cavity, pictures of her boobs flashing in my head.

“Come on.” She took my hand, leading me to my truck. I got the distinct impression I had no control in this situation. Iopened the door for her, watching as she scooted over to the middle, sitting as close to me as she could. I snapped my seatbelt on, asking her if she was going to buckle hers. She saidno. That made me edgy, but I knew if I wanted this dream to come true, I shouldn’t make waves.

I tried not to tremble visibly while driving to Tabitha’s house. She scooted even closer, her hand on my thigh, squeezing it every few minutes. I could feel my rock-hard, anxious-as-hell cock beating against my boxer shorts in my stiff denim Levi’s. It was the most exhilarating and torturous feeling I’d ever experienced in my life. The kind of all-encompassing feeling you never want to end, while at the same time you desperately need it to…complicated. So complicated that I’ve never figured out if wanting a woman is pleasure or just fucking painful. I guess both, and the only relief is being with them. It’s just fucked up.

“So, Jake. Have you ever seen a girl’s boobs?” Tabitha said in a hushed voice.

“Sure, yes,” I lied.

“Really? Touched them?” she said, not hiding her bemusement.

“Yup,” I lied again, working to make my voice sound steady and deep.

“Really? Kissed them, sucked on nipples?” She goaded me on.

I didn’t even know you could do that. How did I not know that? My dad did not do a good job with the ‘birds and bees’ talk. I steadied my breathing. “Nope, never kissed one, but I’d love to.”

“I’m sure you would,” she said, whispering directly in my ear.

My dick pulsed harder against the zipper of my jeans. Her words and the air from her mouth scampered across my skin, alerting every part of me that something really amazing was about to occur. Right there and then, I questioned why God hadmade me so vulnerable to this, this female thing. It’s a question I was sure I’d be asking God for the rest of my life.

“Well, Jakee, tonight you’re going to get to play with my boobs, but that’s between us. No rumors, you hear? No kiss and tell with all your football buddies, got it?” She was serious. Looking back, I should’ve demanded the same from her.

“Got it. I wouldn’t do that anyway,” I said sincerely, thinking,but that’s how I heard about you.Still, I didn’t think it was cool when guys talked about what they did with girls.

When we got to her house, it was dark, only a few lights still on. Tabitha suggested we go to the guest house because even if her mom did wake up, she wouldn’t have the wherewithal to walk across their large lawn. Tabitha led me to one of the two bedrooms in the guest house. As much as I wanted this, something felt off. I suddenly wished I had a reason to get out of there, but I didn’t know what to say.

She sat down next to me. “You ready to play with my boobs?” she asked, pulling up her shirt, then reaching back and unclipping her bra.

I was so grateful she did, so I didn’t have to figure out how to unhook that thing while trying to keep my composure at the sight of her boobs popping out of her bra. Damn, they were as beautiful as I could have imagined. I just stared, my hands on my thighs, just mesmerized by those white mounds of flesh with small pink nubs on them.Oh wow, wow…so this is why guys are so stupid?

“Ah, huh,” I uttered.

“Well, are you going to touch them?” she said curtly.

My pulse throbbed somewhere in my throat as I moved my hands onto the beautiful pillows of flesh, cupping them, wanting to squeeze, not knowing what to do. Thinking I should have joined some of my friends who got their hands on a porno last month instead of turning them down, trying to do the rightthing. What good was that doing for me right now? Now I had Tabitha’s boobs in my hands and no idea what to do.

“Kiss them, Jake,” she said, arching her back, sounding almost bored. I leaned down, trying to conceal my internal tremor, and kissed her boobs, pecking at first. Then I heard her say, “Put the pink part in your mouth and suck,” exasperation spilling over her words.

I did as she instructed; I held them in my hands, then put my mouth on the pink part and sucked hard. I loved it until she pushed on my shoulder and yelled, “Shit, not like that—you’re hurting me! That hurt!”

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