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“Shoot—sorry,” he sputtered. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Jake, what are you doing here?” The consternation in her tone didn’t fully cloak the internal gratefulness of seeing him that was bubbling to the surface. “I just mean this isn’t a good time, but you, of all people, probably guessed that.” She shut her eyes, concentrating on slowing down her breathing.
She’s lying,he thought.She wants me here.Hell, he had the distinct feeling she needed him at this very moment. “Sweets, when is it ever a good time?” he blurted out, then quickly shifted, realizing the knee-jerk reaction of his words. Flashing his full smile, he continued, “Well, I just thought if you can cheer for me, then you can celebrate with me, too. Either that, or I’m honing my stalker skills.” His eyes shifted toward the two bottles of champagne he’d set down at the top of the steps.
Rakell stood, frozen. Her body and brain wanted to collapse into him, let him hold her and tell her it would be okay.
Jake moved back to the top of the stairs, still carrying the bag of wine. He bent, picking up the two bottles of champagne. Glancing back, he saw that she hadn’t moved. She stood motionless, almost in a trance. “Rae-kale? Hey, you?”
She blinked. “Yeah, you?” she whispered, her voice detached, as if talking was too much work.
There was no way not to pick up on the fatigue in her voice, he thought, frowning as he took in the dark crescent shadows under her eyes, knowing she probably hadn’t slept. Damn, seeing her on that Jumbotron felt like a win to him, but there was a cost weighing on her he couldn’t ignore.
“Rakell, let me help you get this stuff inside,” he said cautiously, not wanting to trigger her to shut down and push him away. He needed to ease into this, let her know he was here to comfort her.
“Um…yeah, okay,” she said, finally ascending the last two steps and moving in front of him. “I’m this way.” Her hand limply gesturing to the right. “Jordan and Delilah’s place is that way.” She pointed to the left. Then, barely above a whisper, she added, “But you probably already knew that.” She punched in a code on the keypad and opened the door. Jake’s large hand nudged open the door with her as if she were a small child.
Rakell had to work not to be affected by Jake being so close to her, his arms so near to hers. Resisting his pull and her need to be comforted, she stilled herself, internally coaxing herself to remain calm. She wanted so badly to lose herself in the strong coziness that was Jake, but his words capping off that incredible day in October were a constant reminder of what she feared would be his future reaction when she finally bridged the huge gulf of unsaid words between them.
Jake followed her down a hall, past an office and a guest bedroom to a large living space, open kitchen, and dining room. He noticed another hallway that he suspected led to the master bedroom and bathroom.
“Wow, this place is amazing,” he said, setting the bags down, briefly scanning the floor-to-ceiling windows, taking in the expansive view of downtown Austin with the hill country as the backdrop. “Really impressive.”
“Thanks,” she said, drawing in a breath as if preparing herself for what would come next. She pulled the baseball cap off her head.
Registering the strain in her face, Jake slowly moved to the other side of the counter where Rakell was taking groceries out of the recycled burlap bag. Watching her, thinking about how to proceed, the image of his father—with his arms open, enveloping his mother—popped into his head. “Hey, you.” He moved closer, standing in front of her with his arms outstretched. “Come here,” he drawled out. With his arms around her, feeling the reticence in her body, he kept his hug neutral, trying to coax her to relax into him.
Rakell arched her back slightly, her body stiffening, afraid of herself right now, fearing she’d unravel. But she let go, stopping herself from resisting. She couldn’t move away from him, and the truth was that she didn’t want to. Her face rested against his chest, her nose soaking in his familiar scent of pine shower gel comingling with male musk, reminding her of the crispness of the outdoors.
He wanted to lean down, kiss her, and take her now, but he didn’t. Gently, slowly, he leaned back. “You okay, Sweets?”
God, the way he drawled outSweets, empathy coating the long es, his face assuring her he was here for her. It was too much. Rakell shut her eyes, forcing back the tears as she nodded. “I will be,” she said as if reassuring herself.
Sensing the emotion swelling in her, Jake smiled. “Congrats on the cover. I didn’t know…was that Aruba?” He spoke cautiously, not wanting to sound put off that she hadn’t shared the truth with him. He tried not to be resentful that she always seemed like she was keeping a chunk of herself, her life, hidden from him. It reminded him that, aside from a few texts, he hadn’t pursued her after their day in October for a reason. She was too complicated, too much to figure out. But damn if hecouldn’t get her beautiful green eyes, her captivating smile with the prominent eye tooth, that body, and her sardonic sense of humor out of his mind.
“Thanks. Yes, Aruba. It was sort of unexpected that I would land the cover. I just didn’t…” She stopped herself from explaining, knowing it might open the door to more Jake questions. She couldn’t handle that right now; she had to pull herself together.
“Congrats on the big win,” Rakell said, coaxing a smile to her face. “Going to the Super Bowl—that’s huge.”
Their back-and-forth had a halting, unsure quality as if they were reading from a script neither of them had reviewed until this moment.
“Glad you were there and wore the lucky jacket.” A wry, crooked grin emerged as Jake cocked an eyebrow at her, desperately wanting the stiffness between them to soften.
“Oh yeah…me too.Reallygood decision…” Rakell answered, rolling her eyes, emphasizing how ridiculous the whole thing had been as she stepped back, opening the refrigerator to put away the shrimp and cheese she’d just purchased.
He snorted out a quick laugh. “Okay, may not have worked out how you had planned, but it felt good knowing you were there.” Jake had so many questions, but he’d hold them for later.
“I kinda manifested that win,” she said, the corner of her mouth going up.
Stepping a little closer, he cocked his head as if examining her. “Manifested? Is that right, darlin’? So you are really fittin’ in here. Did you pick up that lingo during an outdoor yoga session on the shores of Town Lake?”
“Nah, yoga sessions are a time to reflect, not talk…so you better steer clear of yoga.” This back-and-forth banter was what came so easily to them. Her eyes dropped to his thigh, remembering the San Antonio Lone Stars’ helmet barreling intoJake’s upper leg, how she had visibly flinched as if she could feel the pain. “How is your leg? That had to have left a pretty ugly bruise; that guy hit you hard.”
His fingers went to the silver button on his faded jeans. Sporting his classic cocky grin, he replied, “Is that your subtle way of asking me to take off my pants? Sweetheart, all you have to do is bat those eyes and I’ll drop my pants. No need to be sneaky about it…”
“What? Damn, you’re ridiculous. You know that, right?”
“Okay, a guy can hope,” he countered, reaching into the bag, handing her some of the items as she put them in the refrigerator. “You have a lot of food here. Expecting company?” There was a tenuousness to his question.
