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“Matt, oh Matt…” Her voice was a robotic whisper as she fixed on the windows. “Matt…”
Jake turned, blinking. He’d heard everything he needed to hear in her voice. Matt was her guy. Matt was who he had wanted to be to her, so tonight, he would follow Matt’s directions.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Continuously, she thought about how much to tell Jake. She feared his questions, and she dreaded the outcome, but she felt she owed him this talk.
Jake couldn’t even hear his own knock over the sound of his heart thumping against his sternum. He was pretty sure she could hear his heart through the door. He hadn’t thought about anything else since Sunday night when he’d left her with Matt. The same questions moved through his mind on repeat, over and over again—What to ask her, what he wanted, what was fair to her, to him. Could he even make this work?
She opened the door smiling, wearing faded jeans that fell loosely over her hips with a pale pink cashmere sweater that fell off one shoulder, exposing the matching pink lacy strap of her bra. Her hair tumbled down her shoulders, spreading across her back. Jake couldn’t help but think how naturally beautiful she was as his eyes soaked her in. “Hey, you,” he said, stepping forward, unsure of his next move but instinctively lifting his arms to hug her.
Her arms mirrored his. “Yeah, you?” She let herself move forward into his embrace, her breath quickening. She stepped back quickly, looking at him. “Or I have tea, but it’s not sweet tea. I know that’s what you like.” Formality crept into her voice as she walked down the hall toward the kitchen. “I have beer, too…I mean, I think I have Shriner. Or wine, of course…and I have vodka. I could make a…”
His large hand encompassed her shoulder from behind as she reached the kitchen. He gently spun her around, glaring ather intently. She lowered her eyes, examining the edges of his worn jeans as they lay over the top of his brown boots.
His thumb and index finger squeezed her chin, forcing her gaze to his. “What’s going on here, Rakell?”
Nervously, her eyes shifted from his intense focus. “Nothing, I was just...”
His thumb stroked her cheek as he lowered his head, not letting her look away. “Sweets, you were just talking to me like I was a door-to-door salesperson or someone you just met. Can we start again? Keeping in mind the background between us…I’ve known you for over a year now, we’ve been lovers …so I hardly fit the profile of the guy you rattle off every beverage available as if you were a waitress taking my order.” His delivery was definite; she needed to understand that whatever the aftermath of tonight’s conversation, he cared about her.
“Um, okay, I…” Her brain rapidly computed his past tense reference…we were lovers.
“Got it?”
She nodded her head.
He continued, “No matter what happens here tonight, whatever conclusion we come to, you are someone I care a great deal about, period.” Her green eyes widened, yanking at him. He lowered his mouth to her pink lips, wanting so badly to suck the fuck out of her tongue with his, totally consume her. He eased himself back, brushing a kiss against her forehead. He brought his face down, even with hers. “Do you understand that? No matter what, no matter…I care.” He bent forward and placed a firm kiss on her lips, lingering a few seconds before releasing her.
“Yes, yes,” she whispered into his mouth. “I do know that. Jake, thank you for Sunday…I, well, I just shut down. Those guys crowding around, snapping pictures and then…” Her hand slid up to his hand on her cheek, gently pulling it down. She steppedback from him, trying to flash him a casual smile, anything to cut the sensual tautness stringing between them. “But you can’t kiss me, okay? I think that’s dirty pool, isn’t that what you call it?” She took another step back.
“Mmm…mm, but that wasn’t intended to be dirty pool. It was purposeful, though, to make a point. We are not acquaintances. Are we?” he nudged.
“No, no, we are not,” she said in an exhale. “Got it, so what do you want to drink?” She moved into the kitchen, opening the small stainless steel wine refrigerator under the granite island.
“Wine sounds good,” he said, leaning his tall frame against the kitchen counter opposite the island. “I’ll get the glasses, and for the record, your reaction at Cock and Puss, Jesus, that name”—he chuckled—“was normal. I saw some more videos. That guy who shoved the phone in your face could be accused of assault, not to mention the guys who were pushing you, although you did greet them with a pretty vicious swing. Levi said the owner will never let them back in,” he added, opening the cabinet. He reached in, grabbed two glasses, and set them on the island. Jake saw her hand tremble as she poured the wine. He knew she was nervous—he was, too—but they had to get through this. Even as he stood there, looking at the woman he loved, he still wasn’t sure he could live with the information, the images he had of her past.
She took a long sip, her finger pointing to the manilla envelope on the kitchen counter. “Jake, I have to ask you to do something before we can continue. I mean, the information…”
“Huh?” He followed her gaze to the manilla envelope. “Um, what’s that?” He flashed his eyes at her.
“Jake, please, I can’t discuss anything with you candidly without asking you to sign an NDA. Believe me, I have signed dozens. The information I’m going to share could hurt me as well as other people…I want to be honest with you, and I…”
“Wait, what? What the hell?” His hand flew into the air like a crossing guard ordering her to a stop. “You’re asking me,meto sign a non-disclosure agreement?” His tone was incredulous.
Her eyes met his stare, irritation flooding her, recognizing his indignant expression mixed with a shocked tone. “Yes, Jake, me,me,Rakell, a woman, is askingthegreat Jake Skyler to sign an NDA. Wow, is that so surprising? Really. I mean, how many girls have signed one for you? And you dare to act put off, really?” She rolled her eyes, whipping her head away from his fixed stare.
“Okay, stop.” He blew out a forced breath, regaining his composure. “Sorry, just a little taken aback. I went years without asking women to sign anything, but more recently…” He trailed off…he hadn’t asked her, sensing the tenuousness in their connection, not taking the chance that such a request would cause her to retreat abruptly. Little did he know. “I guess I just expected that all aspects of my personal relationships should be private and kept that way.” He let out a quick snort. “But, then again, I’ve been wrong about that…and I’ve had the ‘opportunity’ to read about my behavior, or an exaggerated version of it, online. So you’re probably smart. I know you are.” His voice softened as he looked at her. “Really smart, aren’t you?”
With a quick upturn of her lips, she said, “Yep, just remember you’re the eye candy, and I’m the…” She shrugged her shoulders.“ Or...I know a really good lawyer who advised me that if I was going to reveal this aspect of my life, I should not do so without an NDA.” She didn’t tell him it was Jenae’s advice. When Rakell had left Merit Coffee after her meeting with Jenae, her feet barely hitting the sidewalk…her phone had buzzed.
Jenae:Just a bit of legal advice...anyone you talk to/or get involved with should sign an NDA. I can email you one…insert applicable name??...Send
“Yeah, Jenae’s always been all over my ass about asking women to sign before we get, well, you know, naked…”
She shook her head scoldingly to counteract the knowing smile, not revealing that they had been given the same counsel from the same person. “You’d probably go broke on lawyer fees.”
And there it was, that playful connection that led to a natural banter between them that inevitably made him wish for her in an everyday way. “Hey, watch it,” he said, pulling the forms from the envelope, skimming the first few pages. “Okay, I should probably read through all of this, but I trust you, so here’s my biggest question: Does this cover me, too?” An eyebrow arched as the corner of his mouth ticked up impishly. “Meaning, if…if I have some kinky fantasies and share them with you, are you bound by the NDA as well?”
