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He just stood still, unsure of how this day should end.
As her fingers wrapped around the handle, she twisted her neck around. “Jake, are you coming in?” she asked tentatively, registering the nonplussed look altering his features.
He placed his hands on her upper arms, gently squeezing them. “Rakell, I…God how I’d love to…” He bent his head. “I’d love to slide that oh-so-soft sweater off you and slip my hands under that pink lace bra that’s been taunting me all afternoon,” he said, slipping two fingers under the exposed strap before sliding them from her collarbone to just above the mound of rounded flesh.
Her sex started pulsing from his touch, his words, and the heat of his breath on her face. Completely caught up in the feel ofher soft flesh beneath his fingertips, he said, his voice was husky, “Then manhandle your breasts…”
“Jesus, Jake, not fair,” she blurted, breathing like she was on the Stairmaster.
Quickly, he jerked his fingers from under her lacy strap and dropped his hand. He stepped back, his face scrunched up in anguish. “Fuck, fuck, I suck at doing the right thing. I really suck at it. I can’t be with you—I want to do this right…” His words sputtered from his mouth as he looked at her. “Let’s chat tomorrow.” He halted, turning. “Sorry,” he mumbled, heading toward the elevator.
She lowered her head and shut her eyes, processing. Her pride puddled as she realized what he was saying. He didn’t want to have sex with her because he wasn’t sure he wanted her at all. The longing that had been swelling in her all day evaporated with a comingling of discomfort and dejection.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jake shifted his gaze off Dwayne, thinking about how to explain the ‘Rakell’ situation. “I’m trying something different, going to move slowly for once.” His eyes jumped back to Dwayne, who shot him an incredulous look. “Trying to show some self-restraint and make this work with her the right way. If it’s meant to be, then…” Jake continued, his calm demeanor completely masking the uncertainty he felt about their trajectory; when they got together, he made a point of going out; he couldn’t trust himself to curb his craving for her if they were alone. It had been more than a week since she’d opened up to him, and every time he was around her, his self-talk was akin to watching a ping-pong match:Damn it just dive in, she’s the one you wantandNo, if she’s who you want you need to be sure you can accept her pastthen the contradictory thoughtslook at the ease in which she deceived you, she’s lived a double life.
Dwayne shook his head, puzzled by Jake’s answer, which hinted that there were still loose ends between him and Rakell. “Honestly, Jake, you know I think she’s a special girl, but if she still isn’t totally into you—you need to move on. There’s a smorgasbord out there just waiting for you to introduce yourself:Jake Sklyer, NFL quarterback, just won the Super Bowl, and what’s your name?” Adopting his best Texas accent, he sounded like a cartoon version of Jake’s drawl. “Their clothes will be off before you can get in the car,” Dwayne added.
Jake shook his head. “Don’t want a buffet, just want one thing, so buffet won’t do me any good.”
“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” Dwayne asked, narrowing his eyes on Jake. “Dude, did you hear what I said—buffet? There’s a goddamn buffet out there.”
“Let me put it this way: What if I asked you to come to a buffet with me, but there’s no bacon at it?” Jake smiled, remembering the time he and Dwayne were asked to leave the buffet in Vegas because Dwayne literally had eatenallthe bacon. They’d fill up the silver chaffing pan and Dwayne would go back for more. He’d only eaten bacon and cantaloupe off the buffet.
“Fuck, no bacon! Forget it, then the buffet is a waste of money,” he chuckled.
“Okay, so there’s one thing I want, and it’s not on the buffet.”
“Got it. Goddamn…you’re in love. That’s some messed-up shit, brother. Won the Super Bowl and now you’re in love. Think God’s fucking with you.” He hit Jake on the back, laughing.
“You have no idea,” Jake said, shooting him a look and stepping away. “I’m going to say hi.”
She was just finishing on the pec-deck when he walked up, concentrating his focus on her face, not her pecs. “Hey, you.”
She smiled. “Yeah, you?” She looked up at him, trying to focus solely on his face, staving off the charge she felt around him.
“How’s the workout?” he asked, putting his hand out to help her stand.
She let her hand linger in his even after she stood. “Good. I did an hour on the Stairmaster, pretty high intensity, trying to work off that queso…but it was worth it, I mean the queso,” she said with a quirky smile.
“Agreed, always worth it. How about dinner tonight?”
“Sounds good,” she said, touching his elbow. “But I have to be really good this week, eat super clean, low alcohol. Nothing like being photographed in ‘barely there’ attire to motivate a girl.”
He held on to the wordsbarely there. “Rakell, you don’t have to worry about it. You look amazing.” His tone bordered on lecturing. “Don’t starve yourself, don’t do that.”
She shot him a sideways glance. “I ate a pound of queso yesterday, so I hardly think that equates to starving myself. The photoshoot in Paris is approaching fast, so I just need to be careful.”
“I get it; how about True Kitchen? They have a lot of pretty healthy, clean options…”
“I’d like that.”
He shrugged his shoulders, grasping her fingers in his. “I still have more questions.”
“I’m sure you do, Jake.” She winked. “…You’re Jake.”
“Hey.” Smiling, he let go of her fingers. “I’ll let you get back to it. Does six work…to pick you up? And…let’s just chill tonight…I’ll try to curb the questions.”
