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I’d made a promise to myself when I left Janine’s house that I was going to focus on me, on getting my life back on track, and at the first hint of interest from a guy, I crumbled.
Had Travis fucked me up this badly? Would I always live a life of feeling constant worry over the choices I’d make and regret them when it all went wrong?
“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have told me you didn’t live here.”
“I didn’t purposely keep it from you, Indy,” he insisted. “And I don’t understand what difference that makes.”
My eyes nearly fell out of my head. “Are you kidding me? It makes all the difference, Griffin.” Waving my hand back and forth between us, I said, “I thought we were starting something more meaningful here. I thought this was special.”
“What makes you believe that it’s not?” he pressed.
“Because you don’t live here. You live in Hawaii!”
He tipped his head to the side. “I’ll admit it’s not ideal, but you haven’t heard of long-distance relationships?”
“Oh, I’ve heard of them. I just think most people who wind up in them go in knowing the stakes. If I had known from the start?—”
“What, Indy? If you had known from the start, what would you have done? Are you telling me you didn’t feel anything? You’re pissed at me now because the both of us fell into this the way we did, and you didn’t know that bit of information.” He pressed his finger against the center of my chest. “It shouldn’t change a damn thing about what you feel in here.”
I hated that he knew I felt something in my heart for him. Maybe that’s why this hurt so much. Because it hadn’t even taken me a full week of spending hours in this man’s presence to latch onto him in a way I’d been hoping would be more permanent. And just like that, he was ripping it all away from me.
“You live in Hawaii, Griffin,” I murmured, hurt and despair moving through me. “I can’t just pick up and drive there whenever I want.”
“You can’t get on a plane?”
“I couldn’t even afford to get myself a hotel room here for a few nights,” I pointed out.
“So, I’ll buy the ticket,” he reasoned. “You can come out there, or I’ll fly back here to see you. We can make it work, but you’ve got to be willing to try.”
He was making it sound so easy. He was acting like it was no big deal. Maybe if I’d known from the start, at least I could have gone into this, having made the decision on my own. Now, I was stuck. I was in a place where I’d opened my heart to him, assuming things were one way, and I felt like I’d just had the rug pulled out from under me.
Shaking my head, I rasped, “I wish you would have said something sooner. I don’t understand why you would have pursued me if you know you wouldn’t be around in…” I trailed off, because I had no idea how long he would still be here, close enough to get to. “When do you leave?”
Something changed in his expression. “I don’t have an exact date yet, but generally, it’s usually late March or early April when I head back for the season.”
There I had it.
Griffin would only be here for roughly another two months or so. My heart was breaking at the thought.
Before I could ask him how often he came back, he spoke. “And to answer where I believe you were heading with that, wondering why I pursued you if I knew I’d be leaving, here’s what I can tell you. First, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that I’d be leaving, because it’s not at the forefront of my mind. I don’t plan out every moment. I like to just go with the flow. And that sort of leads into the other part of it. I told you the one thing I’m afraid of is missing an opportunity. Not pursuing you would have been missing an opportunity.”
“So, that’s what I was? Just an opportunity? Congratulations, Griffin. You’re so good at seizing the opportunities before you that you had me falling into bed with you in less than a week.”
The sarcasm was dripping from my words, and he shot me a look of disgust.
“I didn’t go after you to get you to sleep with me, Indy. Did you forget what I said to you when we got back here earlier tonight? I told you I was more than happy to wait, if you weren’t ready.”
“And I was so caught up, I was on my back for you in a matter of minutes, wasn’t I?”
“I don’t like what you’re insinuating here,” he growled, clearly displeased with where this discussion had gone. “This wasn’t about that for me. When I said I pursued you because I didn’t want to miss an opportunity, I meant that I’d never hold myself back from finding a woman like you, someone I believed I could build a relationship with.”
Right.
Like I was supposed to believe he was truly interested in something permanent with me.
“How will that work? You won’t be here.”
“I already told you we can try out a long-distance relationship while we get to know one another better, and we can fly back and forth to visit. I come back here every year before Thanksgiving and spend the entire holiday season through late March or early April in Colorado,” he replied.
