AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I wish I could have said I found sleep easily, but I didn’t.
Because despite all of Griffin’s reassurances about what was ahead, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d screwed up again and was merely holding on because the alternative was too much to bear.
SIXTEEN
Indy
“How is it possible to be so happy and so sad all at the same time?”
My question was met with Griffin’s handsome face attempting to communicate sympathy. Or maybe it was solidarity—I couldn’t be sure, since both were appropriate in this case.
The day had finally arrived.
I’d just moved into my new place at the ski resort. Granted, I didn’t have a whole lot that needed to be moved, and I certainly hadn’t needed to hire a moving company, but my car was no longer packed to the gills with all my belongings.
And that was nice.
That made me happy.
Being here, having made it to this point after all that I’d been through, was the thing making me feel so good about myself. Obviously, my hope was that this wouldn’t be a lifelong job, but this time, I was going to do it right. I wasn’t going to jeopardize the future I wanted, needed, and deserved to have to please anyone else. The risks I chose to take or not take would be just that. My choice.
As excited as I was about finally having my own place again, I couldn’t ignore what was happening inside my heart. My excitement was mixed with melancholy, because doing what I needed—and wanted—to do for myself meant it was time for Griffin to leave.
Just as he’d promised, he stayed at the resort, giving me a warm, safe place to stay until I could secure my own housing. That time had come, and he was now standing across the room from me in my new place with that look I couldn’t quite read.
I wondered if he was feeling so many of the same sentiments I was feeling. Was everything we’d experienced with one another from the day we met moving through his mind? Or was he focused on one or two specific parts of it?
Truth be told, I had to admit I was relieved we’d made it here together. Just a few days ago, I was terrified about what the future held for us, and I wasn’t convinced we’d be able to get past what happened so easily. I’d been worried we’d wake up the next day and things would be awkward.
They weren’t.
Griffin made sure of that.
And because I wanted to give us a fighting chance, I was certain to put in the effort as well.
Everything had gotten back on track for us over the last couple of days. We were both much more forthcoming with everything. Considering I believed we had already talked a lot before our little spat, it paled in comparison to how things had been since.
We shared how we felt about things, and we had failed to pull back on the affection we showed one another. Griffin was constantly touching or hugging me, and I found myself craving cuddles and kisses.
But it wasn’t just about the physical connection.
Griffin and I had no choice but to talk to one another if we had any chance of surviving. So, we did.
I took the time to understand more about Griffin’s lifestyle. It was probably one of the most important conversations we’d had, because if we were going to try to make this work, I needed to know what to expect.
When it came to me and my life, it didn’t get much simpler. I was in a position where I’d be working and saving money for the foreseeable future, whereas Griffin had something I didn’t.
Financial freedom.
So, in a way, his life held a bit more uncertainty in the roads he’d travel.
I’d learned that his parents’ place was something he’d used as a home base when he was here in the winter. He didn’t live with them, but he spent several days at a time with them in between his trips to different mountains in the Rocky Mountain region.
It offered me a sense of comfort I hadn’t realized I’d needed, because the reality was I’d had quite a few moments of insecurity that filtered in over the last several days. Most of those moments happened when he had been talking about his life in Hawaii—his house, his friends, his surfing.
I wanted to know about all of it, but I couldn’t deny I often found myself wondering how I could ever compare. Griffin had been wonderful in doing what he could to reassure me.
Oddly enough, as much as I needed the reassurance, it seemed to me Griffin needed to provide it just as much. It was almost as though he refused to take any chances with our relationship and was determined to make it work.
