Page 38 of Kate & Hudson


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“Well, I have an ulterior motive.” She attempts to look innocent but doesn’t quite pull it off. Maybe I’m just skeptical because of what she did to me.

Renee and I dated for three years. I thought at the time we were perfect for each other. We both are in the same profession, so we understand the highs, lows, and difficulties it can place on a person. She’s beautiful and confident. Both traits any guy worth his salt wants in a woman.

We were friends, too. That was important to me because I’ve always wanted what my parents had. For me, getting married meant forever. I don’t want to marry someone that I’m not friends with because that doesn’t sound like it will last forever. And I want forever.

“Oh yeah? What’s your motive?” I dig into the burger and my first bite is almost half the burger. Damn, we make good burgers here.

“Well, I was hoping maybe we could talk.” She takes an onion ring off my plate and pops it into her mouth. That was something else I hated about Renee. She has always been afraid to eat. Although she’s rail thin, all the training we do at work has always kept her in shape.

“What about?” I’m dreading her answer.

Wiping her hands on her napkin, “About us. About how good we were… are together. I miss you. I miss us. Don’t you?”

My appetite waning, I put the rest of what’s left of my burger back on the plate and wipe my face with my napkin and look up at her. “Look, Renee. We were good together. We were… until the end. You hurt me and I just can’t let that go. You cheated.”

“I know and I can never tell you how sorry I am for that, Hudson. Really, I am. I don’t know what I was thinking when I did that. John was talking to me when we were in the truck, and he got me all confused and it just happened.” She cries and my heart unfreezes a little for her.

But not enough. I take both her hands in one of mine. “Renee, please don’t cry. What’s happened is over and we’re moving on.”

“Are we?” She interrupts.

“You need to move on. You’re bright, beautiful, and sexy as hell.”

“Really? You think so?” She asks and then sniffs.

I laugh, “You know you are. And that’s why you can move on. Learn from this mistake and go on and meet your true love. The one that is just for you.”

“You’re the one just for me.”

I shake my head, “No, I’m not. If I was, you would never have cheated.”

She takes her hands back and dabs the tears from her cheeks with a clean napkin. “One time, Hudson. One time.”

I just stare at her for a few seconds because I know it wasn’t just the one time. I don’t want to break her any more than she already is. We’re coworkers that periodically have to work together and I thought that eventually we could become friends, but she’s obviously not there yet.

“Once was all it took, Renee. When I opened that door to the rescue truck and saw what you were doing…” I pause because the memory still hurts. My heart and my pride still hurt. “… I can never unsee that. And, if you really loved me, then you would never have done that.”

I watch her take a deep breath and sigh. “Fine. I thought I would try. But just for the record, I still love you and I really want to be with you. Will you at least think about it? Think about us?”

There’s hope in her eyes that I need to quash. I shake my head, “No, Renee. I won’t. I will always love you, but it has taken me a long time to get over what you did, and you need to know that I’m not in love with you and we’ll never be together again. I’m sorry.”

My phone alerts me to an incoming text, and I take the opportunity to walk away from Renee. I shouldn’t have had dinner with her, and I wouldn’t have if I’d known she still has feelings for me. “I’ve got to go.” I hold up my phone. “Take care of yourself. Okay?”

I watch the Renee that everyone knows slip back onto her face. The confident and funny girl that everyone thinks they know, but don’t. “Hudy, just know that I will not stop trying. We’re meant for each other, and we’ll be together again. I just know it.” She smiles broadly, but I can see the pain in her smile.

I stand and grab the plate from the table and look one last time at her and just give her one word.

“Don’t.”

CHAPTER 17

KATE

After my walk with the girl gang, I realized that I’m being an idiot and rude. My mother and grandmother would be disappointed in me.

Hudson came over yesterday, shared a personal story of his, listened to mine, cooked me dinner, and even put me to bed when I passed out from emotional exhaustion. And I never thanked him.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself is the reason I’m texting him.

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