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“You’re welcome. My pleasure.” He tightens his massive arms around my back.
“You freaked out when I told Grace I loved her.” I giggle at the image in my mind’s eye of his bulging eyes.
Hudson’s not laughing, though. He pulls back. “I wasn’t freaked out; just surprised when you said that. I didn’t think you were ready, that’s all.” He’s staring at me, waiting for my reaction.
“What are you saying, Hudson?” I’m schooling my facial expression, trying not to panic. Or get my hopes up.
He takes a few seconds and then shakes his head. “I told myself I wasn’t going to say anything yet, but…” He pauses.
“But…”
He leans in and kisses me, “But… Over the last few weeks, I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Kate Benson.”
I’m shocked at his words. Not so much that he said them, but at how I feel about them. You’d think that I’d be freaking out hearing him tell me he loves me, but I’m not. Actually, my body has an overwhelming sense of calm.
“Kate? You don’t seem to be freaking out. Why?”
“I don’t know. I should be, shouldn’t I? I mean, we’ve only just started officially dating last night and we barely know each other. I don’t even know what shampoo brand you use. I know how you take your coffee, two sugars and no cream, but then again, I own a coffee and bagel shop and you’re one of my customers.” I look up at him and then start pacing around the room. “What kind of owner would I be if I didn’t know how you take your coffee, right?” I nervously laugh.
Hudson stops my pacing and kisses me to shut me up. “You’re nervous. I understand, baby. I do. When I realized it myself, I was apprehensive, too. But then I thought of how beautiful you are,” Kiss. “… how happy the thought of spending time with you makes me,” Kiss. “… and how electric our touch makes me feel, and I couldn’t deny it.” He kisses me again. “I just wanted to tell you. No pressure at all. Okay?”
I nod because I don’t know what to say. Do I love Hudson? I don’t know. What is love anyway, right? I thought I loved Adam, but in the end, I only mourned the loss of my baby. Not the loss of him or our relationship.
Hudson’s phone rings, and it seems to break the tension in the room. He kisses my lips and then grabs his cell phone. “Hi Mom… yeah, that was Kate’s place… she’s doing okay, except I just freaked her out a bit… I just told her I love her.” Hudson is watching me with eagle eyes. “…yeah, I know I should have gone slower, but life is too short… yeah, I think I freaked her out…I knew you’d understand… I don’t know. Let me ask her.” He puts the phone on mute. “My mother would like for us to stop by her house this evening. She’d like to meet you. Would you feel up to that? No pressure, Kate. I know there’s been a lot going on, so if you just want to hang out here and watch television, she will understand.”
“No, it’s okay. Let’s go over.” I tell him, as I’m digesting all that is happening.
This time yesterday, I was closing up my little shop for the day and going to play kickball, excited over my date that night.
Now, I have a boyfriend, my shop has been destroyed, my best friend has collected a ridiculous about of money for me, my boyfriend loves me, and now his mom wants to meet me. It’s been quite the day.
Hudson hits the mute button again. “Sure, Mom; we’ll stop by. Give us an hour and we’ll be over… love you, too. Bye.” Hudson hangs up. “Are you sure about this?”
I nod and smile, “Yes. I’d love to meet your mom. Where does she live?”
“About a mile down the road.” He points in a direction. “Here.” He hands me a diet root beer. “Let’s go sit on the patio. I turned on the fan, so it’s pretty cool out there, right now.”
He leads us to the French doors and out to the patio lounge chairs. He picks one by the pool’s edge and sits down, bringing me down with him. The lounge chair is double wide, so we both fit next to each other.
We sit in silence on the patio next to his screen covered pool area just watching the wind blow the trees in his backyard. The canal that is running across the back of the property flows quietly, and it’s giving me time to think and process everything that’s happened.
After a while, he breaks the silence. “I’ve lived here for almost ten years now and I don’t think I could ever live anywhere else.”
I sip my root beer. “It’s a lovely place. Very peaceful. I don’t know why you would ever want to move.”
It’s so quiet between us that I can almost hear him thinking. “I can’t help myself, Kate. I’m trying, but I can’t.”
“What do you mean?” I’m panicking that he’s going to tell me he didn’t mean to tell me he loves me and now I have to unpack that emotion, too. If I’m disappointed that he doesn’t love me, does that mean I love him?
Hudson puts his arm around me and pulls me against him and then kisses the side of my head. “I was going to wait until you were ready before I told you that I loved you, but I didn’t. And now, I’m going to ask you to move in with me, knowing full well that you’re nowhere near ready for this, yet. Just know that when you’re ready, I want you here with me. Sharing my home and making it our home.” He kisses my head again. “Don’t answer me now. I know what the answer is, but I just wanted to let you know. No secrets. No regrets.”
Holy shit.
CHAPTER 26
HUDSON
I’m driving Kate and Pepper to Mom’s house and I’m not nervous. Shouldn’t I be? My girlfriend and my mother are going to meet for the first time. When Mom and Renee met, I was a nervous wreck. But not now. I’m completely calm. Does that say something or am I reading too much into this?
