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“Really rough, Beth. I like to be tossed around and smacked around.”
“Does Trevor hurt you?” I have a hard time believing Trevor could hurt anyone.
“Not once. There’s a fine line between pain and pleasure. Everyone has their happy medium. You need to find yours.”
CHAPTERNINE
DOMINIC
Gabriela is in town and took the kids for a few days. I miss them already. I’ve gotten used to having them around all the time.
The nice thing is that I can go out with a few friends tonight, something I haven’t done much of since the kids have been with me full time.
I’m out with my longtime friends, Sebastian and Kevin. The three of us have been close since college. Kevin is happily married with two kids. He started dating his wife, Claudia, our senior year. She’s kind and thoughtful, like him. They’re a true all-American family.
Sebastian is divorced and has sex with everything that walks. He always has. He never should have gotten married. I was shocked when he said he was. I was even more shocked when I met Lindsay, and she was a compassionate, beautiful, wonderful woman who was completely in love with him. He’s my best friend, but even I know he didn’t deserve her.
In fairness to him, he tried hard at first to be a good husband, but it’s not in his grain. He likes to party too much. He enjoys having a variety of women. I do respect that he divorced her before he was with anyone else but watching him break her heart was terrible.
Neither of their wives ever cared for Gabriela. They tolerated her, much like I did.
We sit with our cigars in one of the only restaurants that still allows them. I ask Kevin, “What’s Claudia up to tonight?”
He scrunches his nose. “She said she was taking Lindsay out for margaritas with a bunch of their friends to try to cheer her up.”
Sebastian’s face drops. “I thought she was doing okay. She said as much when I spoke to her last week. It’s been over a year.”
Kevin shrugs. “I guess not. Claudia said she’s still hurting. For some unknown reason, she loves your unlovable, self-centered ass.”
Sebastian rubs his face in obvious distress. He still cares about her. Maybe once he gets this shit out of his system, he’ll find his way back to her.
I would never tell him, but I check in on Lindsay every month or so. I know she puts on a brave face for me, but she’s still struggling.
Kevin recognizes that we need a topic change and turns to me. “How are things going having the kids full time?”
I smile. “Honestly, I love it. It’s been good for my relationship with Matteo. I’ve seen him come out of his shell at times. I think we’re making progress. And Valentina es mi amor. She’s so smart. I can’t wait to see what she becomes.”
It has truly been great having so much time with them. Matteo is finally starting to warm up to me a little. He’s still quiet, but we’re making progress. Seeing him with Beth the other day gives me hope. I looked into having a pet as therapy, like Beth mentioned. She’s right. It’s supposed to be helpful for kids like Matteo. I’m seriously considering it.
He nods in understanding. “Gabriela is home now?”
“Yes, for a few days. I’m sure the separation isn’t easy for her. I don’t envy her situation.”
They both roll their eyes. Neither of them understood why I married Gabriela, knowing I didn’t love her. They knew the real reason. What they never understood was why Gabriela agreed to it. I told her beforehand that I didn’t love her. I told her beforehand that I was not capable of being faithful to her. She’s very attractive, but I was never attracted to her. She was fine with all of it, just wanting to marry me.
I shake my head. “Have some compassion. Her mother is dying, and she barely gets to see her kids.”
Fortunately, the conversation turns back to Sebastian’s sexcapades. He’s telling us about how women in their twenties are now very into anal. He drones on and on about it.
Kevin hangs on every word he says, but I find myself disinterested. There’s only one person, one woman, on my mind right now, and she’s not a twenty-something bimbo. Just the opposite. She’s refined, classy, beautiful, kind, smart, and just plain perfect.
The look of shock on her face today was unbearable. I know it was the right thing to say and do, but I hated every second of it. Being close to her, smelling her, knowing she wants me nearly as much as I want her made it all the more difficult, but I’m protecting her from the animal that lives inside me. The hurt I know I would inevitably cause her. I can never be the kind of man deserving of her.
Sebastian turns to me. “Dom, why don’t we hit the club scene later tonight? The girls are all in their twenties and purely looking for sex. Nothing else. It’s like fishing with dynamite.”
Kevin pouts. “Hey! What about me? I thought we were hanging tonight. I can’t go to a place like that without my wife.”
Sebastian shrugs. “Sorry, man, but there are perks to being single again.”
