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“He started texting me how fuckable I looked in my dress and how he didn’t want my date touching me.”
She fans herself. “That’s hot. Please tell me you fucked him.”
“Here’s the crazy part. He had me pinned to the wall by the bathroom. I swear I would have let him do anything to me in that moment. He’s just so sexy. I lose my mind around him.”
“And?”
“And, per usual, he went from scorching hot to ice cold in seconds. He was back to the wholeyou’re too sweet for me, find a nice guybit. He’s giving me whiplash. Part of me thinks he’s right. Maybe I need someone more stable. But then part of me is dying to be with him. To know what it’s like to have the kind of passion I know we’d have.”
I choose not to tell them that I abruptly ended my date, went home, turned on the Spanish porn I’ve been watching for over four years, and made myself come. Twice.
Cassandra gives me a knowing smile. “Did you go home and get yourself off?”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Why do you know that?”
She snickers. “I just know you. Did you watch dirty-talking Latino men to get off?”
I gasp. “How do you know about that?”
She toggles her eyes between me and Giselle. “Giselle may have let it slip a few weeks ago.”
I turn and give Giselle another dirty look. I didn’t want Cassandra to know. She’s going to have a field day with this information.
Just then, my crazy neighbors Mindy and Brittany walk over to us. Their sons are on the opposing team. I mumble, “Oh shit, what do these crazy bitches want?”
Brittany asks, “Who is the sex god coaching your team? Why do you get the eye candy and we get an eye sore?”
Mindy nods. “Our coach hasn’t even been able to see his dick since the nineties.”
The three of us laugh as we look over to their coach waddling around the dugout area with his huge belly hanging well over his belt.
“Brittany, Mindy, this is my sister, Cassandra. Our coach, Trevor, is her husband.”
They both stand there, wide-eyed. While Cassandra is stunning and looks younger than her years, it’s obvious that Trevor is much younger than her.
Cassandra simply smirks. “For what it’s worth, Trevor could be as heavy as your coach, and he’d still be able to see his dick.”
Giselle bursts out laughing. “My ex could have a flat six-pack and still not see his dick.”
They both cackle. How did these two lunatics become my two closest friends?
All our eyes move to Giselle’s ex, Tom, who has two divorced moms hanging on his every word.
Giselle shakes her head. “One of those poor women will soon be asking,is it in yet?”
All five of us giggle. Poor Tom.
She looks around. “I suppose it could be worse. At least George isn’t here today. We can enjoy the peace and quiet.”
Giselle’s former father-in-law, George, is eccentric. He’s very loud and opinionated about his grandson’s playing time. His antics, which I find hysterical, are often the source of embarrassment for Tom, Giselle, and the kids.
Brittany interrupts my thoughts. “We’re going to go out on patrol next week, Beth. Will you join us?” They never ask Giselle even though she lives in our neighborhood. She hasfuck offwritten on her forehead. I need to learn to be more like her.
“Umm…I have a lot going on. I’ll see if I can make the time.” Hell, no.
They nod and head back to the other side of the field.
Giselle shakes her head. “Why don’t you just tell them you don’t have interest in the pussy party-pooper patrol squad?”
