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“Fuck yes you are. Let go. Now.”
And I do. It numbs my whole body. He shoves in deep and twitches as he fills my ass with his warm seed.
We both immediately slump forward, covered in sweat, completely out of breath.
We stay like that for a few minutes. Our breathing is loud, but it’s the only sound we make. He’s holding me up. I have no use of my limbs.
Eventually he lifts his weight off me and turns me around, still supporting me. His lips immediately find mine. The kiss is so tender, especially compared to the way he just fucked me.
Without breaking the kiss, he lifts me like a bride and carries me to the shower. He turns the water on, and we continue kissing while it warms.
After two minutes, he steps us inside. He places my feet on the ground, though I still need him to support my worn-down, lifeless body.
We stand under the stream. Well, he stands for us. Heholds me up and washes my entire body before washing his own.
Slow, gentle strokes everywhere. He meticulously cleans me. It’s so loving and intimate.
We still haven’t uttered a word to each other. When we’re almost done, I look up and gently touch his scrapes. “Why do you do this to yourself?”
His jaw ticks. “Sometimes I need the pain to feel alive. To escape the prison I live in.”
I finally get my footing and step back. “Does being with me feel like prison?”
“No, being without you does.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
AMANDA
The holidays have come and gone. It was so full of love and family. Such a contrast to how Jade and I did it when she was a child, and it was just the two of us.
I’m awakened in the middle of the night by a noise. Beckett is wrapped around me. His hands are under my shirt, per always.
I realize it’s my phone. I quickly grab it and see that it’s Jade. “Hey. Is everything okay?”
“Mom, it’s time. We’re heading to the hospital.”
Tears immediately hit my eyes. “Are you in any pain?”
“A little.” She pauses. “Mom, I’m scared. What if it hurts too much? What if I’m not meant to be a mother? What if I’m no good at it?”
“I know your mind is racing right now, sweetie. It’s totally normal to have those feelings. I can’t promise you that it won’t be painful. But in the end, you’re going to hold your child and you’ll forget the pain. It will be the greatest moment of your life. You’ll feel an intensity of lovethat you didn’t realize could exist. A feeling of unconditional love and protectiveness will kick in. I promise you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Are you coming?”
“Of course I’m coming. I’ll meet you there.”
I hear Collin calling her name in the background.
“I need to go, Mom. I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.”
I end the call and take a deep breath.
Beckett pulls me close. “You’re such an amazing mother. I don’t know how you can ever doubt yourself.”
“Thank you. I hope she’s able to manage everything.”
