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“We can, but at your age, I’d like to be as thorough as possible. It will take just a little longer.”
“Okay. That’s fine.”
They draw my blood and I sit in the waiting room. My head is all over the place. I don’t want to let myself get too excited. He’s probably right. It’s menopause. I know I’m a few years early for that, but it’s the likely cause. I’m on the pill. It would be pretty hard for me to get pregnant. Though Jade got pregnant while on the pill.
About an hour later, Dr. Crest calls me into his office. He smiles at me. “Brace yourself, you’re about to become a mother again.”
“I…I’m pregnant?”
“Yes. Your numbers are quite high, which indicates a more than healthy pregnancy. That’s why I wanted to do the blood test over the urine test. If we didn’t know your last period was two months ago, I’d say your numbers show you’re ten or eleven weeks along.”
It’s not computing. “I’m pregnant? But I’m a grandmother.”
He lets out a laugh. “Even grandmothers can get pregnant.”
He gives me a bunch of prenatal vitamins and some pamphlets on prenatal testing I should consider given my age.
I’m barely listening. I’m just processing.
I leave on autopilot, though I do notice a few cameras snapping shots of me.
I drive around for a bit, finding myself at a park. For at least an hour, I watch mothers and fathers chase around their little ones. That will be me again in a few years.
I eventually walk into my house with my mind still racing. I’m a mixed bag of emotions. I thought this door was closed for me, but now it’s open. And it will be so different this time around. I’m in love with the father. I rub my belly, which obviously shows no evidence of the pregnancy, but I can’t help already feeling overcome with emotion and love. This baby will have the stable family life Jade never had. I’m getting my do-over.
“Was it always your plan?”
I shriek at the surprise of hearing Beckett’s deep voice.
I can barely make him out sitting in the darkness of my kitchen.
“Oh my god. You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?”
He looks down at my hands which are splayed across my stomach. “It’s true, isn’t it? You’re pregnant.”
I look down and at my hands, which are already protective. I look back up at him and smile. “Yes. How did you know?”
“You were seen at the doctor’s office today and someone inside leaked it.”
“Well, that’s a gross violation of my privacy, but I suppose I’m getting used to that. I don’t want to let the press bring us down during this beautiful, miraculous moment.”
I start to walk to him but then I see the anger in his face and stop short.
“Like I asked when you walked in, was it always your plan to get pregnant?”
“What? I’m forty-five. I’m a grandmother. Was this my plan? Of course not. But I couldn’t be happier. Aren’t you happy? This baby was conceived in love. This baby will have something Jade and Andie didn’t have. Two present, loving, devoted parents from the second he or she is born.”
“Was anything we shared real or was this always your endgame? Hook the rich guy for life.”
If he physically punched me in the stomach right now, I’d be less shocked. “What’s going on? I’m really confused right now. Where is this coming from?” How can he say these things to me after everything we’ve shared together?
He stands with a look of both pain and disgust on his face. My sweet, loving, romantic Beckett isn’t here. Pained, damaged, spiteful Beckett is in the house.
“You’re obviously in shock. Why don’t you take a little time to process this? Then you’ll see it for the incredible gift it is.”
He scoffs. “All this time. All this time, and it turns out you’re just like the rest of them. A gold-digging...”
At least he had the dignity to stop himself before finishing that sentence. He thinks I’ve been faking my feelings, plotting this to do what Jenny was planning to do to him. I know he’s damaged, but I’m not sure I realized how much until this very moment.
