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“He’s ten years older than me. He was a user too. Evenworse than me. Together, we were toxic. We were on and off for a few months when I found out I was pregnant with Jade. That’s the last day I ever used. He wasn’t so lucky. It took him another eight years to shake it. Jade and I were very much on our own the first seven years of her life, struggling to make ends meet.”
He looks pained. “I’m sorry for what you went through.”
“It was tough, but we made it work for us. When Declan got clean, he began to help financially.”
He smiles. “That explains Jade’s toughness. She’s tough like you.”
That’s the last thing I am. “I’m weak.”
“You’re strong. I can’t imagine it was easy to go cold turkey when you found out you were pregnant, but you did. I can’t imagine it was easy being alone with a baby, but you did it. You raised a superstar. Look at all that Jade’s accomplished at such a young age. She’s the toughest young woman I know. It’s clear where she got it from. You should be very proud of her.”
He has no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. He and Glinda both telling me how strong I am means so much to me. It almost makes me believe it. “Thank you. I am.”
He points to the painting I just brought inside. “It appears you’re still a very talented artist.”
“I never stopped painting, even at my worst. Though I had limited success until about five years ago. Things have sort of taken off since then.” Because of Beckett. Besides Jade, Collin, and Tyson, everything good in my life right now is because of Beckett. I miss him. I swore to myself I would take things slowly with him, but I’m only hurting myself. I just want to be back in his arms. His big,comforting arms. I wish he was here with me right now. Holding me. Loving me.
Dominic breaks me out of my Beckett reverie. “I’ve seen your work in Jade’s office. I didn’t know it was yours, but I do now. The paintings are beautiful.”
I smile. “Thank you. What about you? What have you been up to?”
“I suppose you now know that I work at Daulton Holdings. I have two children. Valentina is eight and Matteo is four. They’re in the pool if you want to meet them.”
Little kids. How sweet. “I’d like that.”
“I’m divorced, and I’ve been seeing Beth for a while.”
“I adore Beth. She’s so sweet.” I’ve only met her a handful of times, but she’s always been kind and welcoming to me.
He smiles. I know that smile. He’s in love with her. I’m happy for both of them.
“She is. It’s funny, I’ve thought about you some in the past year. I considered reaching out to you. Just to get a little closure. We never really had that.”
“I suppose we didn’t.”
“Sebastian thought I should call you.”
Oh god. Sebastian. The man who told me I was no good for Dom. Who told me to end things with him. “You’re still friends with him?”
“I am. Kevin too.” Kevin was their other best friend in college. “Can you tell me what happened at the end? I know you were on drugs, but I thought we were in love. Finding you in bed with two men impacted me on a deep level. I’d like to try to understand it. I’ve always just assumed you didn’t love me the same way I loved you.”
Oh no. Of course he’d think that. It was the furthestthing from the truth. “I did love you, Dominic.” I pause. “I’m not sure I should tell you.”
“It’s been twenty-five years. I’d like to know and then move on. Please. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”
I guess he needs to hear it. I have no reason not to tell him the truth. “After your arrest and team suspension, Sebastian came to me. He told me I was pulling you down. That I was ruining your shot at making it to the big leagues. He said you were madly in love with me, and that if I loved you, I should do something drastic to change your mind and set you free. I staged the whole thing. Being in bed with those guys. I knew you were coming over to tell me about the suspension being lifted. I made it look like I was being intimate with them, so you’d break up with me. I never expected the fight, and I certainly never expected you to get injured.” The tears come again. “I’m…I’m so sorry, Dominic.”
He squeezes my hand. “I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, but to the extent it helps you, I forgive you.”
“Thank you. Itdoeshelp.”
“Did you ever get married? Do you have other children?”
The second question is a loaded one right now. I look down at my covered belly. I’m not ready to tell him about my pregnancy. That’s mine and Beckett’s news to share with other people when we’re ready.
“Unfortunately, I never had any more kids. I wish I had, but the right opportunity never came along.” Until now. “Jade was my sole focus for a very long time. I was briefly married a few years ago, but it wasn’t right. I’m dating someone now. We’reverydifferent, but I like him and I’m seeing where itgoes.”
Actually, I love him. Deeply.
